Loose Ends
by MC-Aitlyn
Summary: Annie discovers that getting what you want and learning what you need are often mutually exclusive. Sequel to "Door Number Two". Will not make much sense without having read it. Annie/Abed
1. A Snag Here, A Snag There

_Author's Note: This story is dedicated to reviewer Ksentos, who pushed me to write another one. And to those people who told me that they wanted a sequel. At first I was all like, "Eh, sequel? Not so much…" The whole point of _Door Number Two_ was that I wanted to write a story, pretty much self contained, & wrap things up in a neat little bow. _

_But then I inevitably started to think about all the ways that I might turn it into a sequel. And off-hand comments from the lovely Celtic Quill and Batgirlfan made me think: what if everything wasn't so tidy? What if now Annie's trying to date Abed, and they actually have to deal with all the baggage and curveballs that life throws at them? Hence, a sequel is born. It also didn't hurt that I noticed people keep subscribing to my old story, which led me to believe, okay, maybe it feels unfinished. _

_Sidenote: I have a least another nine chapters written out at this point. They're just in dire need of editing which takes time. And then I'm not sure how many chapters will follow after that b/c I'm really writing this thing without an endgame. I'm letting the characters guide me. So far it's gone okay. I'll do my best to keep updates tight. Also, b/c I have so many chapters written out, please bear in mind that any potential parallels between my story & the rest of Season 3 are purely coincidental. I already spotted two. I'm gonna go back & try to change things but I can't change too much without affecting subsequent chapters so here goes._

_Also, for those of you who caught Paley Fest, hearing Alison Brie say that she wants Annie to be with Abed, too, really excited me about writing this. Her first choice, however, was Britta, which just makes me wish I knew enough about lesbian relationships to write that particular story. Anyways, I'll let you guys be the judge of whether or not this one works. _

**Chapter 1: A Snag Here, A Snag There**

x

"I don't understand. You're accusing me of trying to _hog_ Abed?"

"No, no. Not accusing," Troy told me. "I'm just thinking we might wanna lay a few ground rules."

"There are no rules!" I set down the spatula I'd been using to fix my omelet and turned off the stove. "We've only been together less than twenty-four hours, and then the second he leaves the apartment I've got to deal with this crap?"

"I'm just saying," Troy continued, one eye on me and the other on the omelet, "that last night was the first time he didn't sleep on the bunk. And that's fine. I get it. You wanted him to yourself. But then this morning it's all, G'morning, Abed, Sayonara, Troy, because he ran out of here right after you said you wanted a donut!"

"Well, I wanted a donut, Troy!" I said, my voice rising to rival his. "What's so bad about that? I didn't ask him to get me one! I only mentioned that I kinda had a craving..."

"But that's how it starts!" Troy inched sideways, drawing closer to the countertop. "Girlfriends are needy. Before you know it there's gonna be no time for video games or cosplay or our ongoing attempt to break new Guiness-Book-Of-World-Records because he'll be too busy following you around, carrying your books, and, I dunno—taking you to get your nails done. I just don't think you've thought this through, Annie. And it's not just the people that live here that you're affecting. What about the rest of the group?"

My jaw dropped. I couldn't believe it. I just plain couldn't believe it.

"Who do you think I am exactly?" I said tightly. "Yoko Ono or Elle Woods?"

Troy shrugged. "If the boobs fit."

"I am not trying to break up your little bromance, Troy!" I said, giving his hand a resounding slap as it tried to sneak a mushroom off the frying pan. "You know, I don't even get where this is coming from. You were cool last night."

"I was weirded out last night," he admitted, massaging his hand. "I didn't know what to think."

"You said you were happy for us."

"I _am_ happy for you guys. In theory. But you can't just, like, get together overnight. Jeff and Britta had months of sexual tension before they slept together. And when they were hooking up, they were smart enough to leave us out of it for the whole year. _This_," he gestured wildly, circling the space between us, "you and Abed—it's weird, Annie! I leave him alone with you for like three hours and then I come home and it's like you transformed him into a completely different person."

"Oh, really!" I huffed, hands at the waist. "And how was that exactly?"

I could see Troy racking his brain hard for an example. "Well for one thing he couldn't stop smiling."

My vision swam as a sharp pang hit me right between the temples. Great. Now I had a pain in my head to match the one in my neck. It was incredible how quickly Troy had managed to spoil things for me. The morning had started off so well. Waking up next to Abed. Remembering everything that had happened between us in one radiant, life-altering moment. I hadn't anticipated that the happiness of our fledgling relationship would be tested the moment he left the premises. But now Troy was attacking me for no good reason and I didn't know how to defend myself from what amounted to a whole lotta hot air. As far as I could tell, I'd done nothing objectionable. At least not yet. Troy was just being paranoid and oh my God, he was stealing a tomato now…

_Screw this!_

"Oh, just take it!" I shoved the pan his way and stormed out of the kitchen. "I lost my appetite."

I went to my room and slammed the door behind me before he had the chance to apologize. Not that he was likely to. Troy was behaving so irrationally right now that I doubted he even realized how much he'd offended me. I was so mad at him I had half the mind to march right back out there and give him a piece of it, but then I was also worried I might say something that I'd regret. Glancing at my alarm clock I winced when I realized that all three of us had to be at school in less than an hour. My stomach made a gurgling sound, reminding me that there was a donut coming my way that I wouldn't even be able to enjoy on account of the guilt gut.

_Why should I feel guilty, though? _I thought._ I have no problem with Troy spending time with Abed. I love Troy and Abed. They're a team. A dynamic duo. I would never try to interfere with their friendship. Abed spends one night in my bedroom and automatically Troy is worried that I'm going to, what, dismantle the blanket fort? What the hell's wrong with him anyway? Is it me? Do I give off some sort of sexy, threatening, homewrecker vibe or something?_

I turned to the mirror on my vanity table and examined my face carefully, searching for some semblance of Angelina Jolie. But all I saw was a quivering lip and pair of flushed cheeks. Even the whites of my eyes were beginning to turn pink.

_Oh, shit. Don't cry, Annie. Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry._

I waved my hands over my face, trying to affect a breeze that might cool my hot head. It was ironic, really. Troy Barnes had made me cry growing up too many times to count. But that was because he hadn't noticed me. Wasn't even aware of my existence. So many things had changed since then. Troy hadn't hurt my feelings in a long time. And even back in high school, I don't think he'd ever been deliberately unkind. Dense, yes, but not cruel. It wasn't in his nature. Maybe Troy was right to feel imposed upon. Maybe his fears about me and Abed cutting him out were, in fact, well founded…

I looked to the door, feeling a tad less indignant.

_No!_ my inner voice said sharply. _Do not give in on this, Annie Edison. Remember your resolution at the start of the school year. Things are going to be different. You are _not _going to let people walk all over you anymore, do you hear me? You are going to visualize what you want, and you are going to go after it. And if you want Abed, then you can have him. You don't have to explain yourself. Stop apologizing. Stop making sacrifices on behalf of other people who clearly don't care two licks about what you want in life. You're being a wuss. To hell with everybody else!_

But even as I tried to rationalize it in my mind, I knew that I couldn't yet fully conform to what three years of soul-searching and extensive counseling had been building towards. The trouble was that I _did _care what Troy thought about me and Abed. And I wanted his blessing. I couldn't just enter this relationship pretending that there were no strings attached between the three of us. We were friends. We were roommates. Of course there'd be strings! And if Troy already had a problem with Abed and me dating, there was no telling what the rest of the group would think.

Maybe they'd say it was strange. Maybe they'd even find it funny. The way I'd doted on Troy and lusted after Jeff and now, by sheer process of elimination, had moved onto Abed. Sure, they'd smile when I told them how happy I was. They might even offer some lukewarm congratulations. But the moment my back was turned they'd start snickering.

They'd say, "Oh, there goes Annie again. Looking for attention wherever she can get it. She's such a child, isn't she? She hasn't changed one bit. Who is she gonna go after next? Is it Britta? _Pierce_?"

I shuddered, wrapping my arms around myself as I fought the impulse to tear up. That was silly. What a foolish thing to think. Nobody was going to mock me. These people were my friends. Shirley with her big heart and Britta with her bleeding one, why… they weren't catty at all. Of course, they'd be genuinely happy for me. And I was nowhere near the awkward, uptight, and insecure creature that I used to be, right?

Right?

_Damn it!_

I kicked the foot of the bed and hissed through my teeth, my big toe smarting. But no matter how hard I tried to get off of it, I couldn't help the train of thought that my mind had taken. Of course the gang would think it was weird. And what's worse, maybe people would start taking sides. Siding with Troy and then siding with me and Abed. There would be fighting. And splintering. And then two study groups as opposed to one. And we'd be the one stuck with Chang I just knew it!

And all because I'd listened to my libido instead of my brain.

Abed hadn't even wanted to sleep with me in the beginning, had he? I mean he had, but he also hadn't. He'd been smart enough to realize the risk. And I'd talked him into it. Was Troy right? Were things going to change now? Had I, on a flight of pure fancy, rent a hole in the fabric of our tightly knit group?

_But no! It wasn't like that_, I thought desperately. _It wasn't some cheap hookup. It was… meaningful. It felt like it was always going to happen. And who knows, maybe it would've happened eventually anyways. But that doesn't mean that I want things to change. At least not like that. They have to know that about me, right? I'm not a troublemaker. And these people are the best friends I've ever had. I couldn't bear to lose any of them. It's not just Abed I care for. It's Shirley, and Pierce, and Britta, and…_

_And Jeff._

My stomach dropped. How was it that I'd completely forgotten about Jeff? I thought back to what I'd wound up texting him late last night:

"You were right. I'm sorry I overreacted. Please don't worry about it because we're cool and we'll see each other tomorrow, okay? TTYL."

Honestly, I was half asleep when I'd finally remembered to do so. And it hadn't even occurred to me at the time to mention that part of the reason why Jeff had been right about us not having sex was the fact that I'd had such a good time in Abed's arms in place of his…

_Oh, no._

When you took the events of last night at face value, well, God only knew what Jeff would make of them. Abed and I had been planning to announce the fact that we were dating together and in front of the entire group. But now that I thought about it, it wasn't really fair of me to tell Jeff along with the others. I owed him more than that, didn't I? On account of our history, checkered though it may be. I couldn't just blindside the guy. But what would I even say to him, one-on-one? How could I explain what had happened without it coming off as strange and suspect?

"Hey, Jeff, remember when we made out last night and then you rejected me? Yeah, well, no biggie, but, after you left I decided to sleep with Abed instead and we're together now. By the way, I'm totally over you so don't worry."

Damn, that sounded cold.

_I have to text him again_. _I have to give him a head's up. I have to talk to him and_—

"Annie, will you please come out here?" I heard Troy call through the door.

My eyes narrowed and I tossed my cell back onto the bed. "Go away, Troy. I don't want to talk to you right now."

"No, listen. I know I was acting stupid. Will you let me apologize?"

I debated it. Part of me didn't want to let Troy off the hook so easily, but it would be extremely petty of me to not at least hear him out. Stalking over, I wrenched open the door so fast that Troy nearly fell in. He stood before me, more than a little squirmy and seeming so ill at ease he looked like a puppy dog that had just been kicked.

_Don't you dare,_ I thought. _Don't you dare make me out to be the bad guy here_.

"I'm a jerk," he said, trying to butter me up with those warm brown eyes of his. "I was being really insensitive back there."

"Yeah, you were." I deliberately looked past him, unwilling to fall into the trap. "Did you eat my omelet?"

"Part of it," he said guiltily. I started to shut the door again but his right hand shot out and grabbed it mid-swing. "But I couldn't finish it! I swear. I kind of lost my appetite, too."

"Good," I bit back, but even as I said it, I knew I was already beginning to forgive him.

"Aw, Annie," he murmured in a sad voice. And then I looked at his face and I couldn't keep a straight one anymore.

I fell into his arms as quickly as Troy reached for me and crushed me against his chest. My eyes pressed wet spots into his hoodie and I struggled not to get any weepier as Troy continued to sputter over me. "I didn't mean to—I mean I know I was talking out of my ass but I never thought you'd cry and I'm, man, I'm such a jerk. I'm sorry, Annie. I'm really, really sorry."

"I'm not crying." I drew back and wiped at my eyes clumsily. "I mean, I'm not even sad, really. It's just… I get like this sometimes when a lot of things happen really quickly. Stuff like this weakens my defenses."

Troy nodded understandingly and let his arms hang at his sides, obviously unsure of what else to say. "Guess I kind of ruined your day, huh?"

"You didn't ruin it." I brushed my hands down my blouse, trying to maintain some picture of order even though my face was probably splotchy. "You had a right to be weirded out and maybe Abed and I didn't give you a chance last night. I'm sorry about that. But I guess I'm worried now about how the rest of the group is going to react…?"

"They'll be cool with it." Troy waved it off. "Nobody is going to care as much as me. And I didn't really mean any of what I said. I know you're not like that, Annie. You always care more about what other people think than yourself. Seriously, Abed's lucky to have you. And you're lucky, too, because Abed's… awesome."

I smiled, my heart a bit lighter. "I know he is. And I want you to know that even though I'm really excited I'm not about to get clingy, I promise. And I definitely won't try and tag along if you guys are doing your own thing, Troy. I'm not that kind of person—you do know that, right?"

"Sure I do."

"And he's not going to sleep in my room _every _night…"

Troy held out a hand. "Yeah, that might be a little TMI, Annie."

"Right," I said hastily, embarrassed. "Sorry."

The room grew quiet as we stood there on opposite sides of the door frame, mirroring one another in awkward stance. I wanted to hug Troy one more time for closure's sake but I also feared it would be overkill. Geez. Maybe I was needy…

Troy scratched his head ruefully. "I still can't believe I freaked out on you like that."

"Oh, it's okay."

"No, it's not okay. It was really messed up. Maybe I needed to vent, I don't know, it's just…" he pressed his lips together and blew out a sharp breath, "you guys totally surprised me, Annie. Abed never even mentioned he liked you that way. And isn't that something you'd want to tell your best friend?"

"Well, I don't think he believed anything between us was ever gonna happen. I didn't even know he liked me until last night. And I didn't realize that I liked him that way until it just… happened."

"Yeah." Troy scuffed his foot on the ground and looked thoughtful. "I don't like being kept out of the loop though. Guess now I know how Pierce feels."

"But Troy," I protested, "you were literally the _first_ person that we told!"

"Out of necessity," he pointed out. "We live together. Abed couldn't just start sneaking into your room after I fell asleep. Well, maybe he could. He's been practicing in the Dreamatorium. Getting stealthy as hell…"

"But it wasn't out of necessity!" I exclaimed. "We told you that we're going to tell everybody else today. Abed doesn't like secrets and considering the group's history you can understand why. I mean, would you rather we acted like Jeff and Britta? Leave you 'out of it'?"

Troy stepped back. "Damn, I'm doing it again, huh?"

I sighed. "Might as well get it all out now. Before Abed comes home."

"No, not with you." Troy shook his head decidedly and rolled his shoulders, as if trying to work out the tension. "I've done enough."

"You didn't do anything." I found myself unable to stay mad at him no matter how little sense he was making. "I'm fine now. I was probably just getting a little cranky because I haven't had my caffeine yet. But I still don't get it, Troy. You're all over the place. Do you even know what's really bothering you?"

Troy stared at me a long time, his face stricken with something that looked a lot like worry. "Just… promise me you'll be gentle with him, okay?"

"Gentle?" I repeated, confused. "With Abed?"

"Yes. Look, I know it seems like Abed's got a good head on his shoulders when it comes to the emotional stuff. Like he's not as affected by things as the rest of us are, and, yeah, that's probably true. But he's _different_, Annie."

"Well, I know he's different," I said, feeling a flush of heat crawl up my neck. "But I _like _that he's different. And that doesn't mean that he's completely inaccessible. That doesn't mean he can't be in a relationship or anything—"

"I'm not saying that," Troy interrupted, drawing closer and casting a shadow over me. "Of course he can be in a relationship. I don't want to baby him, but Abed, he's… he's a lot more sensitive than he looks. Only in different ways. He gets used to things. He counts on people. And when they let him down, it's just… it's bad. I know him better than anyone, and believe me when I'm telling you that he can get hurt."

"What are you trying to say?" I was suddenly a hell of a lot more perturbed than I'd been in the kitchen. "You know me, Troy. You know that I would never hurt Abed."

"Yeah, not intentionally. I know it may seem ideal, Annie, because you are the nicest girl in the world. I'm not trying to take that away from you. You are, okay? For real. But Abed really cares about you. I mean, seriously. I saw it, Annie! I totally saw it last night."

I blushed furiously, unsure of what to make of Troy's speech and growing all the more uncomfortable when he reached out and took me by the shoulders. "Just… tread carefully, okay?" he said quietly. "Not just for him, but for you, too. Can you promise me that?"

"I promise," I breathed out, itching to get away from a conversation that had spun so quickly out of control and constraint.

Troy gave a quick nod and let go of me, right at the exact time we both heard the door knob turn.

I was struck with an eerie sense of déjà vu as Troy and I moved a respectable distance away from one another and Abed came strolling in, awkwardly balancing a tray of coffee over a pink cardboard box.

"Sorry I'm late," Abed said. "Long line."

"Wow. You brought a bunch!" Troy was already leaping across the room. Our heated discussion clearly forgotten in his mind.

"Yuh-huh. I figured we could bring the rest to school for the group and leave them in the car in the meanwhile. Glazed custard is for you. Powdered sugar's for Annie."

"You're the best!" Troy said, his mouth half full as he took the rest of the pastries out of Abed's hands.

"Where's Annie?" Abed said, scanning the room.

"I'm here," I said weakly. I stepped out from behind the door frame and walked over to them, trying to affect a steady gait. Abed handed me my coffee and I sipped at it immediately, uncaring that it burned my tongue so long as it kept me from having to say anything.

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing's wrong." I shook my head and smiled at him, my face aching with the effort. "Everything's perfect."


	2. Sit and Simmer

_Author's Note: Thanks to those of you who reviewed, put on alert, and actually favorited my story already. What a vote of confidence! This chapter is a little shorter so I'm getting it out of the way. I realized when writing that there had to be a means of transition so I hope you'll give it a pass for narrative purposes. _

**Chapter 2: Sit and Simmer**

x

I was keeping a quick pace yet still managing to linger steps behind Troy and Abed as we made our way through the halls of Greendale. The boys were arguing animatedly about something sci-fi. Ordinarily I'd be taking mental notes because I really liked being in the know when my roommates got to referencing other worlds and dimensions. Lord knows it made navigating the apartment's ever revolving series of tricks, traps and homages that much easier. But today I didn't care much.

Today everything was just gobbledy-gook.

I was so nervous. Even though Troy had calmed down the instant Abed came home and resumed his rightful place at Troy's side, I was still left in the lurch. And it was all I could do to act normal enough so that Abed wouldn't notice.

I watched him carefully. He seemed happy, yes, but not elated. And he was smiling, but only sparingly; no more so than usual. On the one hand I didn't want to argue with Troy's observation that Abed was super into me. That was fine. I was definitely into him. But I just wished I had a better notion of what Troy had been talking about earlier. I couldn't imagine how I might wind up disappointing Abed in the way Troy obviously thought I was capable of doing. Moreover, why should I have to treat anybody as if they were made of glass? Least of all my prospective boyfriend!

_What does he expect me to do anyway?_ I thought bitterly, staring daggers at Troy's back. _And why do I have to be one who is responsible for Abed? He's a grown man. He's older than me. He seems well adjusted at least eighty percent of the time, which is a ratio I'm still striving for even after three years of young adulthood. He's fine. I know it's only been a day but he's not suffocating me or hanging on my every word. If anything, it's me trotting after him! So why should I have to "tread carefully" when all I want to do is let things flow…_

"C-3PO?" Troy was saying.

"What? No. That's blasphemy."

"Abed, he looked like a sex toy and he talked like Mr. Belvedere. What could be worse than that?"

"Haley Joel Osment: _A.I_. Not only one of the worst robots ever, but one of Spielberg's worst films. You can't give a cyborg a mommy complex. It totally defeats the purpose of the genre."

"Oh, no, no, wait—I got it. Robin Williams: _Bicentennial Man_," Troy said confidently, finishing with a flourish.

Abed paused, impressed. "I stand corrected."

"Hey, I gotta get to dance early." I nearly crashed into the back of Troy as he came to standstill.

I blinked and realized we were outside the dance studio's main quarters. Troy and Abed clapped goodbye and I managed a halfhearted wave to Troy before he slipped through the side entrance. I stood there, staring fixedly at the spot where he had vanished. Maybe I ought to have chased after him. Maybe I should have backed him into a corner and had him explain to me just how he had the gall to get involved in my personal life…

"You seem a little out of it," Abed said, and I was jolted back into reality when I felt his fingers slip through mine. I stared down at our joined hands and then back up at him, the urge to smile getting the better of my foul mood.

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure? Because it sounded like you were growling."

"What?" I forced a trilly little laugh and squeezed his hand. "No. Maybe it was my stomach."

"You should've finished your donut," Abed told me, tugging me gently as we began to walk again. Only this time in sync.

"I know. And it was really sweet of you to get it for me. But coffee curbs my appetite."

"Does it curb your tongue, too? Because you've been really quiet."

"Have I?" I feigned ignorance.

"Annie," Abed said pointedly.

I looked to my left and right, fearful that any other members of the study group might be on the premises. I knew that Britta was taking dance this semester, too, but I was pretty sure her class was later in the day. "Do you want to go outside for a second?" I said. "Get some fresh air?"

Abed nodded and, without my asking, let go of my hand. We found the nearest exit and he held the door open for me, and I was so relieved to get out of that stale building. A gust of chilly November air whipped my face and tossed my hair, making me feel less flustered on account of the distraction. Abed sat down on the nearest park bench and I joined him, tucking my skirt in between my leggings to keep it from blowing as I drew my coat tight around me.

"It's freezing," he said. But it wasn't a complaint. Merely an observation.

"I like it," I said. "It's sort of invigorating, right?"

"Sure." His voice sounded vague and I got the feeling he was studying me again.

I turned to look at Abed and my mouth opened but I couldn't speak. I wanted to tell him all of it. I wanted to recite verbatim everything that Troy had said and to see if any of it rang true to him. And then I wanted Abed to tell me that I was being silly and that Troy was being weird and I should completely disregard any events that transpired in between his leaving to fetch me my donut and his returning. I wanted him to say that even though he thought I was pretty enough to break hearts, he knew that I wasn't careless enough to do it for sport.

But I couldn't.

No matter how irritated I was with him at the moment, the bottom line was that Troy Barnes was my friend. And he was only looking out for Abed. And everything he'd told me earlier had been said out of love and in the strictest of confidence. That was obvious, and there was no getting around it.

So what could I say to Abed here and now? How could I explain away my anxiety?

"I'm feeling really anxious," I blurted out, having to start somewhere.

"About what?"

"Telling the group." _Might as well draw from the well_. "I'm scared they're going to think I'm some floozy."

"Floozy?" Abed repeated, his head cocked. "In what context?"

"Well, you know… First I liked Troy. Then Jeff. Now you. I'm afraid I'm kind of developing a," I leaned over and whispered conspiratorially, "_reputation_."

"Ah," Abed said, realization dawning in his eyes. "You're afraid you're Kelly Taylor."

"Who?"

"Beverly Hills 90210, the original. Slightly before our time. Terrible show. But worth noting only for the fact that it paved the way for dozens of crappy teenage soap operas to follow. But I wouldn't worry about being mistaken for the town floozy, Annie. At the risk of insulting you with the comparison, you're much more of a Donna Martin."

I shook my head at him, still uncomprehending.

"Donna Martin was played by Tori Spelling," he added helpfully.

"Oh," I said. And then I grimaced. "Ew."

"Yeah." Abed shrugged at my distaste. "Sorry about that."

I tried to smile and glanced over my shoulder real quick, fearful again that another study grouper or someone like the Dean would come bopping over and ruin this intimate moment of ours. If I was going to lay some cards on the table, the last thing I wanted was anybody other than Abed to see my hand.

"But you don't think I see you that way, do you?" Abed said suddenly, interrupting what would've been the start of a very calculated query.

"No. I wasn't… I didn't…" _Aggh, how am I going to get this out? _"Abed," I said sharply, pulling the hair back from my face and taking a deep breath. "You're happy about us getting together, right?"

"Of course," he said automatically, a note of concern coloring his usually monotone voice. "Aren't you?"

"Yes, I'm really happy. But last night you said that you weren't so sure."

"That again. That was because I was worried about taking advantage of you."

_And now I'm worried about taking advantage of you! _I wanted to scream. But I couldn't.

"Is this about Troy?"

"What makes you say that?" I said, hoping that by some strange magic he already knew.

"You've been acting funny since I left you guys alone. But it seems highly unlikely that Troy would call you a floozy. So maybe it's something else…?"

"No." I sagged into my seat, feeling rather deflated. "No, it's nothing. I'm just being neurotic."

Abed frowned, moving closer so that his thigh was pressed against mine. It was a way for him to establish physical contact and try and comfort me without actually expressing affection in public. It was nice, of course, but an arm around my shoulders would've been infinitely better.

"We're all meeting in the study room at noon," he said then. But he knew that I needed no reminder.

"Noon can't come soon enough," I muttered.

"It'll be fine, Annie. You know we don't have to actually tell anybody else that we slept together last night. As far as I'm concerned that's our personal private business."

"I know that." And I did. But it was still good to hear it.

"And I'll tell Troy not to blab."

"I'm not sure I have all that much confidence in Troy's discretion," I admitted. "Remember Shirley and Chang?"

"That was Pierce."

"Well, how do you think Pierce found out?"

Abed's mouth quirked. "Point taken. Troy does have his off days. But I won't let it be today. Besides, either way, nobody is going to think you're a floozy."

"Oh, Abed. Would you please stop saying it? It makes me sound even more ridiculous when it's coming out of your mouth."

"You don't sound ridiculous."

"Of course you'd say that." I let my head fall back and it brushed against his shoulder. "You're biased now."

"And you're shaking."

I gnashed my chattering teeth together. "Well, it's cold."

"We should actually head back inside. I've got to go to film class in five minutes. We're doing the French New Wave this week."

"You go. I'm gonna stay out here a little while longer. My class isn't until nine forty-five and it's on the east side of campus."

"Okay," Abed said, getting up slowly and keeping his eyes on me. "I can blow it off…?"

"No," I insisted, but I was secretly flattered that he'd offered. "I know you're really excited about this New Wave stuff. I think I heard you mumbling in French in your sleep."

"I didn't mention Brian Williams though, did I?"

"No," I said, taken aback by the question. "At least I don't think so."

"Cool. Cool cool cool." And without further adieu Abed craned down and kissed me. Quickly and gently, but still in full view of everyone and smack in the middle of the quad. My cheeks reddened with delight and he smiled at me. "Coast was clear," he explained.

"Oh, okay," I managed. "A bientot."

I touched my fingers to my tingling lips as I watched him walk away, the butterflies in my stomach flapping anew. Despite all of my escalating fears and internal ramblings, I couldn't help but feel a little giddy about Abed. About me and Abed. And it wouldn't be long before I no longer had to suppress that exuberance in front of our friends.

I was so relieved that Abed had insisted on ripping the band-aid off in one quick go. I realized now that it would've been painful to try and keep this ruse up for even one more day. Especially as I felt like I was glowing every time Abed did something that revealed an entirely different side to him. I hadn't expected he'd want to kiss me in public. But the fact that he did made me all the more confident that we were compatible.

_Just a few more hours, Annie, _I told myself. _Just a few more hours and you'll be A-OK. Everyone will know. And then you can indulge in a little PDA with your boyfriend whenever you'd like…_

Boyfriend.

Oof. There was that word again. I knew I shouldn't have been getting ahead of myself but I was pretty sure that was the direction Abed and I were headed anyways. And suddenly Troy's words from this morning didn't seem quite so intimidating. At least the negative ones didn't. That was my problem, of course. I'd been burned before and it had left me with a sort of unwanted wariness when it came to men. And the positive flipside was that for once I could be utterly secure that the guy I liked was as crazy about me as I was about him. It was official. Even Troy had said so.

_Oh, well,_ I thought merrily, crossing one leg over the other and leaning back to relax._ Might as well enjoy it._

As if on cue my cell phone vibrated loudly, startling me and countering whatever composure I'd regained from Abed's kiss. The worst part was that I knew exactly who it was, and even though I'd been awaiting a reply from him for twenty minutes, I wasn't exactly looking forward to our imminent correspondence. With a sense of dread, I plucked the phone out of my backpack and flipped to the screen.

"Can't talk now. In class." it read.

_Perfect. He's already trying to wriggle out of it._

I began punching keys furiously.

"I didn't say now. I just need to see you before noon. Won't take long."

Another second…

"Why?" Jeff replied.

_Are you freaking kidding me?_

Summoning my patience, I wrote back: "Can't say really. Needs to be in person."

I chewed my lip as I watched the screen light up again.

"Thought you said we were cool?"

"We are cool. It's about something else. But it's important."

Beat.

"What?"

_Oh my God, I could just throttle him! _

"I told you. NEEDS to be in person."

This time he took a little longer to respond.

"I'll let you know. Really busy this morning."

"Aggh!" I exclaimed, and the outburst was so loud that it sent the birds flying from the surrounding trees. I shoved my phone back into my bag and got up in a right fuss. If that was the way Jeff wanted to play it then fine. I wasn't going to beg for his time when he clearly was so dead set on avoiding me.

_He probably thinks I'm still hung up on him_, I fumed. _He's totally afraid I'm going to start getting all lovesick and dopey and following him around again like I did last year. The nerve of the guy!_

It was just as I'd predicted, if not a little bit worse. Jeff was behaving no differently than if we'd actually slept together last night. Nevermind the fact that I was only trying to spare his feelings and not wound his pride. Nevermind that I'd been worried sick all morning about how Mr. Casanova Archetype might take the news.

I didn't care though. As of this moment, Annie Edison was resolved not to care. I had enough on my plate. And if Jeff Winger wanted to set himself up for a rude awakening then so be it. As far as I could tell, I'd done everything in my power to prevent that from happening.

_A few more hours,_ I thought again, drawing deep breaths in order to quell my stress. _A few more hours and this will all be over and done with._


	3. The Big Reveal

_Author's note: And the plot thickens. It's been done better, but what the hell, I'll give it a spin. Again, keep in mind that I love each & every one of these characters. So remember my love & realize I'm not trying to slam anyone. Thanks to kf for HIS darling anonymous review. As for asv, I'll try & clarify the synopsis later, but this chapter may answer a question or two. Oh, lest I forget—this chapter is dedicated to Greytune for sending me the awesomest PM ever & once again, to Ksentos for being my cheerleader. Hugs all around!_

**Chapter 3: The Big Reveal**

x

"Oh, An-Nie," Shirley sing-songed, patting the seat beside her. "Come sit. I have news!"

_Well, that makes two of us, _I thought. My fingers fiddled around the handles of my backpack as I walked into the study room. Abed wasn't there yet, which sucked. Neither were Britta or Jeff. But Troy was. And damned if he wasn't already looking a little skittish on account of my entrance.

_Great. That's all I need._

I glanced his way as a note of warning and took my place at the table. "So what's the news?"

"My church is having a fundraiser and—"

"Shirley, I'm going to stop you right there," I said. "I told you I wasn't going to be tricked into any more of your church functions."

"Oh, but it's not a function, really. It's not even inside the church, although you know Annie if you ever decide to revaluate your life choices you're more than welcome. It's a fair! And it's for three days. And it's really fun. There are going to be rides and games and even a super-sized Ferris wheel. Pierce is excited," she pointed out.

"I hate Ferris wheels," Pierce grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. "And don't we do enough of this crap over here at Greendale? Seems like there's a twinkle-twankle bake sale, sock hop every other day."

"Pierce!" Shirley snapped, doing a complete about-face. "You're going. You promised. And if you don't go I'll be liable to put you in your place for asking me 'where the weave starts'."

"Pierce!" I exclaimed, absolutely horrified. "Really?"

"A man can't ask a simple question anymore." He threw up his hands and looked to his left. "What about you, Troy? Can I touch it?"

Rolling his eyes, Troy slouched in his seat. "I don't know if I want to go either. A church fair? No offense, Shirley, but I think I'm getting a little too old for this stuff."

"This coming from the grown man who still sleeps with his Invader Zim doll," I said snidely, unable to bottle the resentment that had been festering since breakfast.

Troy sat up, surprised. "How do you even know that?"

"Um, I make your bed every morning, Troy. What, did you think it just started coming together magically all by itself?"

"No!" he said loudly, but he couldn't completely hide his disappointment.

"All right, well you're going," Shirley asserted, giving the table a light smack. "You're _all _going. I always get dragged along to whatever ungodly excursions you people are up for. And most of the time it involves tube tops and tequila shooters so why not, just for one day, we do something fun, and wholesome, and that I can actually bring my three innocent children to?"

"What can you actually bring your kids to?" Britta asked, making her way over to us.

"Well," Shirley began, suddenly syrup-sweet again, "if you'd like to come, Brit-Ta, my church is having a—"

"Pass."

"Seriously!" Shirley gasped, and for whatever reason directed all her incredulity towards me.

"What?" I squeaked. "That was all Britta. It's not like I tipped her off or anything."

"But you would, right?" Britta smirked. "'Fun and wholesome'. I thought something reeked of Disney-style propaganda when I was walking over here."

"Actually it smells like donuts," Abed's voice rang out. And I was so happy to see him I had to stop myself from rising from my chair.

"Wow, Abed." Britta reached for the nearest donut after he pulled off the lid. "This is really nice of you. And you're not even extorting me this time around. To what do we owe this generous spirit?"

Troy made a squelched sound in the back of his throat and Abed slid a donut his way, presumably to distract him.

"Well, there is reason to celebrate, but we should wait for Jeff first," Abed said coolly, and then he peered across the table. "What happened, Shirley? You look upset."

"I'm not upset," Shirley said, shaking her head and affecting a shame-inducing tone. "Although if you all had told me that you wanted donuts I could've made some…"

Feeling truly sorry for her now, I reached over and patted Shirley's hand. "I'm sure yours would've been better, Shirley. And I promise I'll go. We all will."

"Hey, speak for yourself!" Britta mumbled mid-chew.

"Oh, honestly, Britta, you don't even know what it is!" Shirley snapped.

"I'll bet it's another witting attempt to convert us. Don't think I haven't noticed that you've been slipping psalm verses into my jacket pockets, Shirley."

"Well, excuse me for trying to brighten up your day! And you know a good psalm verse isn't just for worship. It can get you to reflect on your actions…"

"Oh, what are you, my mother?"

"Now I know you didn't just use the M-word!"

"Can I have the jelly one, Ay-Bed?" Pierce leaned over, his lips smacking.

"No you cannot!" Shirley told him, nudging the box just out of reach. "The doctor said you're supposed to be watching your cholesterol."

"I rest my case," Britta said smugly.

"Oh, you're no better!" Pierce snarled at her, clearly irritated about the treat he was being denied. "Last week you took away my ice cream."

"Well, excuse me for trying to get you to 'reflect on your actions'!" Britta tossed her hair back triumphantly and I knew that any moment Shirley was going to have at her, guns swinging.

"You think you're so smart, don't you?" Shirley seethed.

"If by smart you mean I routinely engage in critical thinking then yeah, I guess so."

"I'm scared_,_" I mouthed at Abed through the din. He nodded knowingly. And even though he didn't look upset I could tell that he was likewise displeased that our important announcement had landed on the cusp of such hostile territory.

"Would you guys please stop arguing?" Troy put his donut down and looked to Shirley pleadingly. "You promised to back off for a while. I'm getting sick of this. It's starting to feel like my parents' separation all over again."

"And why are you comparing us to your parents?" Shirley asked, her eyes narrowed.

"O-o-o, sensitive much?" Britta scoffed.

"I'm not," Troy sputtered. "I'm just saying that you promised not to do this until _after_ the holidays!"

"Oh, Jehovah's Witnesses don't even celebrate the holidays!"

"Oh, would you look at that?" Britta's shiny pink lips were pursing with pleasure. "Sounds to me like a little religious persecution, am I right guys?"

"Britta, stop!" I shrieked, desperate to nip this in the bud before it morphed into an all out war. "You're making things worse."

"Well, I have to say something because I don't see you speaking your mind. You told me you were fed up with Shirley's proselytizing, too."

"That was weeks ago." Shirley was giving me her wounded eyes and it was making me cringe. "She's—I mean _you_, Shirley, have been much better since then."

"Oh, I've been 'better', have I?" she said icily. "And just how often do you two jezebels have this conversation behind my back?"

"Oh, it's not just them," Pierce chimed in, looking delighted to be able to stir the pot. "We all say that about you. Right, Ay-bed?"

"Fly on the wall," he reminded us.

"Abed!" Even though I knew his M.O. was to sit back and watch us all self-destruct, I was astonished that he wasn't even going to attempt to intervene. At least today, of all days. "Do something!"

"I won't have to. Five, four, three, two, one—Jeff's here."

"That I am," Jeff said, and I noticed that even though he was scanning the entire room with a bored, vacant expression, he seemed to be taking particular care not to look my way. "What's going on?"

Shirley, Britta, Troy and Pierce all started speaking at the same, and I caught snippets of "shameless hussy", "closet bigot", "promises broken" and "I want my donut!"

Jeff's sliced his Pac-man hand through the air and everyone quieted down instantly, making me thankful that he was here, in spite of how aloof he was being towards me. "What started it?"

Shirley and Britta were at it again but Jeff shushed them before they could wreak any more havoc. "Abed?" he asked patiently.

"Can't say, exactly. I just got here. But Annie knows."

I sat up a little straighter, pleased that now Jeff would be forced to acknowledge me. "Well," I began primly, folding my hands together, "Shirley wants us all to go to this fair…"

"This _religious_ fair," Britta interjected.

"Oh, for Pete's sake Britta would you give it a rest? It's not even a religious fair. I mean it's a fundraiser for the church, but it's not like it's going to be spiritually-themed. And it's outside, right, Shirley?"

"Yes." Despite looking slightly mollified, Shirley was still glaring at Britta out of the corner of her eye. "It's going to be on the vacant lot behind the abandoned liquor store. You know, the one where teenagers go to park and do... unseemly things."

"Oh, that place?" Troy's eyes widened as a spark of recognition lit up his face. "Man, I _love_ that place. Spent some of my best years there. Hey, we should go sometime, Abed!"

Everybody but Abed turned to gape at Troy and he realized his mistake right away. "I mean to… throw firecrackers and… hook up with high school girls. Shoot. I should just stop talking, right?"

"About sixty seconds ago," Pierce muttered.

"As I was saying," I said loudly, directing everyone's attention back to me. "The fair lasts for three days, and Shirley would like us to all go together. You know, as a group outing."

"Which days?" Jeff asked.

"Runs Friday through Sunday," Shirley replied.

"Friday, dinner plans, Saturday, Burberry sale… and how much money is it?"

"Well, it's only a dollar just to go in."

"We're going Sunday," Jeff decided, sitting down and setting his binder on the table with an air of finality.

"What?" Britta twisted in her seat to challenge him. "You don't just get to decide. A fundraiser! It's bad enough her church doesn't have to pay taxes. And what if I have plans Sunday?"

"Britta, you never have plans. And this is important to Shirley." Jeff frowned. "It is important, right?"

"Very important," Shirley agreed, and whatever sadness had been driving her frustration came leaking out all at once. "We never get to socialize in a family-friendly setting. Half the time you people invite me to things you know I can't make. I'm the only one of us that even has a family to take care of, and you never think of me. I'm already away from my boys more often than I'd like. And none of you has actually seen Ben for months!"

"I see him. He's right there," Pierce motioned.

We all looked to the front window where Chang was loitering in full security swag and chewing on a toothpick. He pointed to his eyes and then at us, grinning maniacally before he stalked off.

"They wouldn't give him a real club, right?" Troy asked, alarmed.

"Definitely not," Jeff replied. "That thing's made out of plastic."

"Shirley, I'm sorry." Britta's voice was strained and her forehead pinched with contrition. "I was just running my mouth. I didn't even think of it that way. I'll go. You know what, I'll even invite people."

Shirley's expression softened and she nodded at Britta solemnly.

"Great!" Jeff said, slapping his hands together. "Fight's over and, as usual, Britta's at fault. Can we please move on to not studying now?"

"Don't you want to have a donut first?" I said, my tone lilting as I dared him to look at me.

"I do!" Pierce complained.

Abed put a jelly donut on a napkin and handed it to Pierce.

"Abed!" Shirley and Britta whined together.

"Lighten up, guys, it's a special day."

"Why is it a special day?" Jeff asked Abed, already half distracted by his Blackberry. "And why are there donuts?"

"Well, Annie and I have a special announcement," he said, smiling in a way that made my heart skip.

Jeff's fingers stopped skittering across the keys and he turned to stare at me searchingly. I flushed and held my chin high, unwilling to be intimidated by all the attention, least of all his. "That's right."

"A special announcement?" Shirley repeated. "Oh, now that sounds exciting."

"It is," I said happily. "One might even say that it's sort of… romantic."

Jeff dropped his phone.

"Wait," Britta breathed, her eyes wide as a doll's as she looked to Abed and then to me. "Annie, are you saying that you… that you and Abed are…?"

And then I couldn't contain myself any longer. I giggled and beamed, dissolving into a girlish fit of glee as Britta gasped, Shirley squealed, and Pierce shouted, "Shut the front door!"

In a flash Britta had raced across the room and was hugging me. Shirley, too. I caught glimpses of Abed sitting serenely across the table, looking unmoved in spite of it all. Troy was smiling a little, but seemed to be overwhelmed by the commotion. And Pierce was dumbfounded.

But no more so than Jeff.

His face had gone lily white, completely diffusing his spray-on tan. And he was looking at Abed as if he'd never seen him before. If Abed took any offense to Jeff's obvious astonishment, he didn't show it. Rather, he was focused on me. And it felt really nice. As if I was the only one worth watching.

"But how did it happen?" Britta said, pulling back from our hug and taking a seat on top of the table. Her body blocked my view of Jeff's face and for that I was momentarily grateful.

"Well…" I started off nervously.

"I asked Annie out," Abed interrupted.

My lips parted in surprise. It was so far from any inkling of the truth that I knew he had to have prepared the statement. And it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that Abed was, in his own way, protecting my honor.

"You did!" Shirley clapped her hands together. "When?"

"Last night. I didn't fully expect her to say yes, of course, but it turns out my feelings weren't entirely one-sided."

"But how long did you even have those feelings, Abed?" Britta said, looking a little put out. "And why didn't you ever tell us?"

"Pragmatism mostly. I look before I leap." And his demeanor was so seamlessly cool that it seemed to me nobody would've questioned it.

"You knew about this?" Shirley asked Troy.

He shifted a little, uncomfortable with the attention. "Well, I live with them, so…"

"You finally landed her, eh, Ay-Bed?" Pierce said lasciviously. "The white whale."

"Excuse me?" I whipped around, taking instant offense.

"Oh, you know…" Pierce shrugged in sheepish fashion. "Figuratively speaking."

"If you liked Annie for a while," a clear voice broke through, sucking the air out of the room and straight out of my chest, "then why did it take you so long to ask her out?"

Britta slid off the edge of the table so that she could better see Jeff, and with her removal came a wave of reprisal from his end. Jeff didn't look angry, actually. But he was staring at Abed and me with the sort of expression he usually reserved for people like Rich. Suspicious. Distrustful. As if the study room were a courtroom and he was back to playing lawyer.

Abed, remarkably, took all of it in stride. He didn't seem surprised by Jeff's antagonism, and from what I could make out had probably predicted it.

"Well, like I was telling Britta, I wanted to be sure first. At least, as sure as I could be."

"And what made you so sure last night?"

And that's when my heart began to race. What the hell was Jeff doing? And was he implying what I thought he was implying?

"I don't know, Jeff," Abed said quietly, and a flicker of a frown crossed his face. "I guess it just seemed like good timing."

Something changed in that moment. It was suddenly so quiet you could hear a pin drop. And even though I knew nobody else in the room had any idea what Jeff and Abed were actually talking about, they had to have sensed the shift. Something ugly was in the air. And it was enough to set everybody's teeth on edge.

As for me, I was absolutely furious.

Not with Abed. As far as I was concerned, he'd been provoked. But the fact that Jeff had taken the bait, cheap though it was, and was now actually exhibiting signs of obvious disapproval was just… just so… blood-boilingly offensive.

How dare he?

How dare Jeff think something so vicious about someone so… benign?

I mean, _Abed_, of all people!

Abed was our innocent. Our touchstone. He wasn't perfect, none of us were, but he was still the one person in the study group that could typically be relied on to not have an agenda. To be impartial and clear-sighted regardless of how farcical the rest of us were acting. And if this morning's conversation with Troy had taught me anything, it was that Abed was also the only person in our little clique that people tended to feel more protective of than they did me.

So why had Jeff swung so far the other way?

He knew Abed. And he loved him as much as anyone. He should have realized that someone like him would never use a situation like last night's to his advantage. Not in a million years. And if he only knew the truth. That I'd practically thrown myself at Abed. That he'd been just as concerned as Jeff that I was too emotional and not in my right mind…

_He doesn't even know that we slept together, _I realized with a start. _All he knows is that we decided to start dating. What is he jealous? Or is he just being my Dad again?_

"So what do you say, Annie?" Jeff asked. And he spoke as if he were addressing some teenager who'd stayed out late past her curfew. "Was it good timing or what?"

I licked my lips, perfectly aware that everyone's eyes were on me. Britta seemed even pricklier than usual and I could feel waves of concern coming off of Shirley. But I kept my sights on Jeff just the same.

"It was perfect timing," I confirmed. And I was proud of myself for keeping my voice bright. "I only wish he'd said something sooner."


	4. Three Acts and a Pact

_Author's Note: Here we go again. Remember the love, people, & keep in mind there's a lot forthcoming that may temper any kneejerk reactions. (Especially you, asv. *wink*) A story without conflict is not a story, after all. It's just fluff. I already PM'd those w/ usernames but thanks so much for your kind review, jj! I know what you mean, as I only started writing Annie/Abed because so few people were doing so. Want to shoot another shoutout to the fabulous Greytune for going gangbusters on Ch 3 & to Ksentos for being a fount of reassurance.  
><em>

_Oh, & kf, SO SORRY for giving you that look I give you like you can't get an erection. That has been corrected, (check my last A.N.). I don't know why I forget that men have hearts & senses of humor & enjoy _Community_, too. I mean, most of my male friends do. So maybe they read fanfic, as well. Hmmm… now there's one to ponder. So without further ado, let us all bathe in kf's manhood!_

**Chapter 4: Three Acts and a Pact**

x

"It'll blow over," Abed told me later as we stood outside my car. He'd been saying it all day, but I still couldn't believe him.

"What makes you so sure?"

"He's mad at me. He'll get over it."

"But he has no right to be mad at you!" I exclaimed, looking at Abed beseechingly. "It's me he should be upset with."

"Oh, he's mad at you, too. But again, he'll get over it."

"I don't get it, Abed." I was squeezing my car keys so tightly that they were cutting into my palm. "How does this not bother you? I've been fending off questions from Britta and Shirley since lunch. And all of a sudden Pierce finally figured out how to text message! He's totally bombarded my inbox. I mean look at this!"

I thrust my phone into Abed's face and his eyes widened. "Yeah, that's not good."

"Wait 'til you read them," I said miserably.

"Calm down, Annie. There's no point agonizing over it. The study group is easily distracted. In a few days there'll be an entirely new set of hi-jinx to focus on and all of this mushy relationship stuff will be put to the backburner. It's part and parcel of the sitcom format."

"You can't promise me that," I protested. "And I can't _not_ worry about it! Everybody's been acting so awkward. And the way Jeff just bailed on us right before we were going to eat. Could he be more obvious? I'm about two seconds away from pulling my hair out and for you it's like nothing happened!"

He shrugged. "I'm not saying it doesn't bother me. But no more than it should. And besides, it would be hypocritical of me to deny that I kind of deserve it."

"What do you mean you deserve it? Don't tell me you're making excuses for him! I have a hard enough time not doing that on my own."

I was at my wit's end. To think that this morning I'd been worried that _Troy_ was going to be the primary obstacle to my newfound happiness. I had no idea Jeff was going to react so passive-aggressively to the news about me and Abed. And I wished I could turn back the clock to a few hours earlier. I would've sought him out no matter what. Explained the situation ahead of time so that we might've avoided this whole mess.

And even though I wasn't trying to blame myself, I couldn't help but feel responsible. Because I'd done exactly what I'd resolved not to do. I'd blindsided Jeff. And I'd done it for selfish reasons.

I'd been so mad at him for blowing me off. For being so immature. And it had made me childish in turn. The horrible truth, the truth that I hoped to God Abed didn't see, was that I'd _wanted_ the news to sting a little. Wanted to hurt Jeff, even. Just some small measure of the way he'd hurt me when he'd avoided all of my phone calls the summer before the last.

But I hadn't expected that resentment to rebound onto Abed the way it had. That wasn't fair. Not to him, and not to the group at large.

So why was Abed being so empathetic towards Jeff? Why was he giving me reason to doubt Jeff's fault when what I needed (for vanity's sake) was to hold onto my righteous anger?

"I'm not making excuses for Jeff," Abed said, answering the myriad of questions I'm sure were flitting across my face. "But I am partly to blame because I know that Jeff has feelings for you. Confused feelings, but they're still there. And he feels like I swooped in while he was still figuring things out. That's got to hurt."

I was quiet as I contemplated the statement, unsure of which part of it was the most troubling. "But… Jeff specifically told me that he had no intentions of dating me. He made that very clear yesterday. He even said I was too young for him."

"I said he was confused," Abed pointed out. "Sometimes Jeff can't tell the difference between his self and his ego. It's like in kindergarten. You can put down a toy and still want nobody else to play with it."

"What! Is that how you think Jeff thinks of me?" I demanded, a stab of fresh pain slicing its way through my indignation.

"Sorry, I'm reverse-anthropomorphizing again. And no, it was just an analogy. Actually, a metaphor. No wait—analogy," Abed decided, sweeping to conclusion with a dash of his finger.

"But if I'm the kid then he's supposed to be the grown-up here. What is it with him that he always wants what he can't have?"

"A sense of entitlement mostly. I can talk to him if you want. But trust me when I say it's better Jeff comes around on his own."

I was at a loss for any more arguments. Everything Abed was saying made a lot of sense, but I wasn't feeling particularly logical at the moment. And while his being so distant and removed from the topic of discussion was probably what I needed, it still felt… not strange exactly, but _estranged_. We were having an extremely important conversation about our friendships and our future, and yet on some level it felt as if he wasn't present. I wanted Abed to be himself, but I wanted him to be there for me, too. And tender. More like the way he'd been last night…

Abed pulled out his silver case of candy cigarettes and I eyed it with interest. "Do those really help?" I asked tiredly.

"Works for me and Troy. Want one?"

"Okay." I slipped one out and brought it to my mouth. It tasted of strawberry bubble gum. "This kind of reminds me of my lip gloss," I commented.

"Hah. Me too," Abed said, surprising me. I looked up and a warm feeling flooded through me when I saw the simple glint of humor in his eyes. It was just what I needed.

"Abed," I asked, "is there even any part of you that wants to punch Jeff in the face right now?"

"Not really." Abed's brow furrowed and he grew serious. "Why? Is that disappointing?"

"No," I sighed, pulling him forward by the tail of his shirt. "It's actually a tremendous relief."

Our kiss was warm and full of longing. Most of it on my part. I wanted to take him home with me, but it would be the stereotypical needy girlfriend thing to ask, so I thought better of it. Rather I clung to him fiercely, grateful that the sky was darkening just enough to assure me that it wouldn't be long before he'd be back. I was mindful of the fact that I'd promised Troy I wasn't about to crash their party. And he and Abed were filming tonight. I could only hope they'd wrap up early.

"Won't take long," Abed breathed as we broke apart, his voice that same shade of deep and different that I remembered it to be.

"You promise?" I asked, my arms around his neck.

"Yeah. You gonna be okay?"

"Sure. It'll be nice to have the apartment to myself for a few hours. I think I'll take a bath."

He kissed me again. And within minutes it was as if the whole horrible day had just melted away. The feeling of peace he left me with was more than enough to keep me smiling as I drove home.

x

The knock on the door came maybe an hour too early to be the boys. I was in my bathrobe, moments away from filling up the tub, and I grumbled under my breath as I went to look through the peephole. I was praying that it wasn't the landlord. And if it was I was going to put on my ugliest sneakers.

_Shit._

I opened the door just a crack. "Why are you here?"

"Why do you think?"

"Did you know that Abed's not here?"

Jeff nodded, his expression guarded. "I wanted to talk to you alone."

"I'm not dressed," I said flatly. "You'll have to wait a minute."

"That's fine."

_I didn't ask you if it was fine_, I thought, shutting the door behind me.

Once in my room, I yanked open my closet, searching for the most comfortable outfit to wear to an uncomfortable situation. I decided on my Greendale sweatshirt and a pair of ratty old jeans that were a tad too loose. After I'd dressed I glanced at the mirror. My hair was pulled back sloppily and my face was free of makeup. I looked very young, which was sort of disheartening. But it would have to do.

I let Jeff in without speaking. I didn't want to give away that he was making me uneasy with his presence, so I spent a few more precious seconds closing the door so that I might gather my bearings. By the time I'd turned around I knew what I wanted to say, and I said it boldly.

"Did you come to apologize?"

"No," Jeff said. "I came for an explanation."

And just like that, I was immediately on the defensive.

"You know I'm already beginning to regret letting you in here," I told him.

"Oh, yeah, and why is that?"

"Because I don't owe you an explanation, Jeff," I burst out, my voice rising. "You owe _me_ an explanation! What the hell was that this afternoon?"

His eyes narrowed. "I could ask you the same thing."

"Oh puh-lease," I droned, ready and revving to plead my case. "I tried to warn you all morning. You didn't answer my phone call. You blew off all of my texts. You didn't give me the chance to tell you. And I said that it was important. What more could I have done?"

"Well, couldn't you and Abed have held off on the donuts and all the celebrating until _after_ you'd told me?" Jeff retorted, folding his arms over his chest. "There was no reason you guys had to spring it on the whole group all at once."

I shut up a second, the wind clearly having left my sails. Jeff had a point. Abed and I could've delayed telling everybody. And the fact that we hadn't thought to do so was pretty douche-y of us. Of me, in particular.

"But we'd already decided yesterday to tell you guys together, in the study room." I spoke quickly, trying to justify the oversight. "That was the plan. We were counting on it. We didn't have time to talk before. And then you were late, as usual. Maybe if you'd come earlier I might've—"

"Yeah, well, it's too late now, isn't it?" he cut me off. "You know I'd rather have read it in a text than have shown up there looking like a chump, Annie."

God, I hated this. Within a minute of entering my home Jeff Winger had already managed to cross-examine me and strip me of whatever defenses I thought I had. And he was so tall and hulking, I couldn't help but feel small and stupid just standing there, in clothes two sizes too big and my bare feet.

"I tried to tell you," I said weakly. And it was all I could say.

He raised an eyebrow. "You should've tried harder."

The fact that he deigned to lecture me reignited my temper. "You know, you really hurt my feelings today, Jeff."

"Oh, I hurt your feelings now?" he said in a sarcastic voice. "Funny. Didn't seem like it at the time."

"Well you did!" I snapped. "When you said what you said to Abed earlier. That was completely out on line. What gives you the right to talk to him that way? And in front of everybody! If you'd wanted to talk to me in private we could've done it later, like we're doing right now. And I don't know where you get off having a problem with it. We're your friends. You should be happy for us."

"Happy for you," he repeated dully. "For you and… Abed?"

"Yes, for me and Abed! Why is that so hard for you to believe?"

"Oh, gee, I dunno," he said, drawing his arms wide. "Maybe it's because twenty-four hours ago we were standing right about here, and you were trying to get me to stay. Maybe it's because you were really upset and I was—"

"Oh, God, listen to yourself," I interrupted. "It's always about _you_, isn't it, Jeff?"

His face tightened. "Last night it was."

"Yeah, well, not for long," I said haughtily, watching the anger wrench at his mouth with a certain amount of satisfaction.

"What happened?" he said, his expression darkening.

"Wouldn't you like to know."

He took a step towards me. "Annie, I know you think I'm a total asshole for coming over here after the way I acted today. But considering the train wreck that was last night the least you could do is _try _to connect the dots for me. Now did something happen or what?"

Suddenly I was nervous. "We already told you guys what happened."

"Don't bullshit a bullshitter," Jeff snorted. "If that's all there was to it I wouldn't be here."

"I don't have to justify myself to you, Jeff. My personal life is none of your business. You don't own me! And if you were a real friend you wouldn't be interrogating me like I did something wrong."

"I _am_ your real friend," Jeff said, and his indignation was so palpable that it threw me. "Why do you think I care so much? I can't help but worry about you, Annie. You're important to me. Since when is that so _offensive_ to you?"

"But why are you so worried about me?" I said shakily, my voice working overtime to make it past the knot in my throat. "Why do you always have to treat me like I'm a baby? I'm happy, Jeff. Something happened and I'm happy. Can't we just leave it at that?"

"No," he said sharply, and I felt as though he was crowding me.

"Why not?"

"Because you and I both know it's not that simple."

"Well, excuse me!" I was beginning to see red. "You and I _both_ know? You've got some nerve! You don't know the first thing about me, Jeff. Hell, you don't know the first thing about _women_ and how to treat them. And if you had even half a clue you wouldn't be here right now, trying to dump on other people's happiness just because it's impossible for _you_ to commit and connect!"

"Jesus, Annie, do you ever stop to second guess yourself?" he swore, looking into my eyes with open disparagement. "Have you ever thought about the way you get attached so quickly? I mean, Troy and me and now _Abed_?"

"Oh, you're one to talk!" I shoved him away. "I'm amazed you haven't made your way to Shirley yet. What's stopping you, Jeff? Is it the kids? We all know how you much you hate excess baggage. _Real_ relationships!"

"Stop trying to change the subject!"

"Stop getting in my face!"

"Did you sleep with Abed last night?"

My stomach lurched and my knees went to putty. I opened my mouth to reply, but it was a half-second too late. Jeff had already seen everything that he needed to see.

"Wow," he said quietly, and took a step back. "I mean, _wow_, Annie. You cannot un-ring that bell."

Something snapped.

"Get out!"

"You don't even know what you're doing with him, do you?"

"I don't need your goddamn permission, Jeff!" I yelled, and if I'd had anything in my hand I would've hurled it at him. "I am a grown woman. I make my own decisions. And if this is the way you're going to act then I want you to leave. Right now!"

He shook his head. "You're only gonna hurt yourself."

"Fuck you!"

I pointed to the door, and I'd never been angrier in my entire life. If Jeff had bothered to outstay his welcome even a second longer I would've pushed him out. But he left as stoically as he came, and once he was out of sight the anger drained out of me, leaving me trembling with something else entirely. Something much scarier.

What had just _happened_ between Jeff and me?

How had things gotten so savage so quickly? The things we'd said to each other weren't just mean spirited, they were downright cruel. Jeff had ripped me apart, and the worst of it was that it hadn't taken much of an effort. He'd known every button to push, and rather than take the high road, I'd reacted as volcanically as I could've.

I brought my fingers to my face, and it was numb to the touch. I didn't feel much of anything in that moment; only my chest was beginning to ache. This was so much worse than anything I'd imagined. Jeff and I had dug ourselves a hole so deep I wasn't sure how we were going to climb out of it. But I knew I'd made a big mistake tonight. And it felt as if there was no going back.

x

When Troy and Abed found me later I was passed out in the blanket fort. Not long after my bath I'd wandered in aimlessly and collapsed in a fit of exhaustion on the bottom bunk. My eyes opened blearily when a hand nudged me, and it took a few speckled seconds for the figures in front of me to come into focus.

"Hey," I mumbled, my voice a little gravelly.

"Hey yourself," Troy said. "Now who's sleeping with Invader Zim?"

I pushed the plush toy out from under my arm. "Sorry I fell asleep on your bed, Troy."

"Nah, it's okay. You made it. You get a parking pass."

"Why are you sleeping in here?" Abed said, looking concerned. "It's early still."

"I came in to sit down for a second and sort of fell over," I yawned, rising up. "I was really tired. And there's something about all these blankets that's just so… cozy."

"Truth," the boys said together, and sealed the statement with a handshake.

"How long have you been asleep?" Abed asked.

"I don't know. What time is it?"

"Eight fifteen."

"Oh. Not long then. I made some chicken salad for you guys. Extra pickles, Troy."

"But it's not your turn to fix dinner," Troy said, looking pleased just the same.

"I felt like keeping busy," I told him, my eyes on Abed's. "Can we talk?"

Abed nodded without blinking but Troy peered at me curiously. "Annie, are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I smiled at Troy with as much reassurance as I could muster. "We just need a few minutes alone, if that's all right."

"Okay," Troy shrugged, moving towards the curtain before he stopped to look at Abed. "Portal 2 later?"

"You read my mind."

"Cool. I'll go set up."

And then we were alone. Or at least as alone as two people could be in a room fashioned entirely out of linens. The TV was on outside though, and I trusted it would be enough to muffle our voices.

"Annie?"

"Jeff and I had a fight," I said sadly.

Abed paused. "On the phone?"

"No, in person. He just showed up out of the blue and it was awful. We said some things… they're gonna be real hard to take back."

He frowned. "What did he say?"

I tensed. I didn't know how to recount all that had happened in a less damaging light. It was difficult to describe it even. Somehow Jeff had managed to make me feel like both a whore and a hapless child. And I was willing to bet I'd made him feel like a lech and a jaded prick. In any case, I didn't want to repeat any of the ugly words we'd exchanged in front of Abed. He and Jeff were friends, too, and I wasn't about to ruin any chance of reconciliation between the two of them. Besides, it wasn't Abed's fault that I'd sunk to Jeff's level…

"It wasn't just him," I admitted, hanging my head in shame. "It was both of us. He just got so belligerent with me and I couldn't stop answering back and before I knew it we were yelling and I… well, I kicked him out."

Abed nodded, digesting all of the information as best he could. "Are you okay though?"

"I don't know. I guess I'm still in shock. I've never fought with anybody like that before. I think I surprised myself."

Abed took my hand. "I'll talk to him tomorrow."

"No," I said, drawing back as if he'd burned me. "No, you don't have to do that."

"Annie, I need to. Jeff acted out of turn coming over here so soon. If he'd stayed home and stewed like he was supposed to he would've had more perspective. Give him a night. Tomorrow he'll have cooled down enough to—"

I let out a harsh laugh. "Abed, no offense, but you weren't here tonight. I wouldn't be so sure of myself if I were you."

"But you're not me," he said insistently. "I did this. Let me fix it."

"No, Abed," I groaned, "_I_ did this. I did all of this. You remember last night, don't you? It was me every step of the way. You were the one who actually bothered to question it."

"That's because I cared about what you thought, not Jeff. I was worried that _you_ were going to regret it."

The question hung there, implied but unanswered. My breath caught and I looked at him ruefully, my heart smarting from the sting. "I don't regret it," I whispered.

Abed held my gaze. "Me neither."

I slid closer and hugged him, sighing at how right it still felt in spite of everything that had happened. Abed held me tighter and I tucked my face into his neck, closing my eyes and concentrating on the here and now. An infommercial was looping in the background but it didn't damper the mood. I could've sat there much longer, letting the embrace stretch and run its course. But it would've have been unwise to do so. Given our track record, it might easily lead to something else. And I had to tell Abed what I'd decided.

"Abed…" I laid a hand on his chest and pushed him away. "I need to ask you something."

"What?"

_Here goes nothing…_

"It's just that with the whole Jeff situation and all of the drama today, I'm… I'm feeling a little overwhelmed."

"Okay," he said simply, his tone unchanging.

"And I was thinking," I looked to my lap and summoned the courage, "that maybe we should, you know, dial things back a bit."

Abed didn't say anything for a few moments. He didn't seem upset. Nor did he look disappointed. I was just growing uncomfortable with the lack of feedback when he said, "You mean the sex?"

"Not exactly," I swallowed, unsure if I'd ever get used to how abrupt Abed could be. "Last night was amazing and, like I said, I don't regret it at all but… but it did happen very fast, right? And it's just that I really like you, Abed. I don't want to mess this up because I think we might really have something here. So that's why I feel like we should actually try dating for a little while, you know? Spend some time getting to know each other as more than friends before we move onto… anything else."

No sooner had I finished my speech than he nodded. "I agree."

"You do?" I wasn't surprised by his compliance with my request, but I was surprised by the speed of his answer.

"Sure. Date and wait. Sounds like a good plan. We can wait as long as you want, Annie."

_I love you._

The thought came on swiftly and suddenly, and it terrified me how close I came to saying it aloud.

What the hell was wrong with me?

It was preposterous, really. There I was, asking Abed to take it slow, trying to prove to myself and my friends that I wasn't a codependent mess. That I didn't just attach willy nilly. But the moment I thought I'd made in inch of headway in this respect another part of me, a very vocal part apparently, was saying otherwise. And I didn't know how to quash it.

_Is Jeff right then_? I wondered. _Is there something… pathological about me? _

"Did I say the wrong thing?" Abed asked.

"No," I told him, reaching up and kissing his cheek. "You always say the right thing."

And maybe that was the problem.


	5. The Quick Fix

_Author's Note: You guys are awesome! Thanks to the swarm of new subscribers + favoriters. I'm very touched you're trusting me. Every little bit of trust encourages me to keep going. To the anonymi: CC – Amen._ Advanced Dungeons & Dragons_ is definitely in my top three of Season 2. / kf – I feel ya. Nobody knows I write this stuff. Quite frankly I think it would shock the hell out of them b/c I'm always complaining I don't have enough free time as it is, & the time I do have I jampack. Plus, for being a chick, I'm not a terribly romantic person a la Annie. But I am an observative one so I'm so encouraged you catch the mannerisms I try to inject._

**Ch 5: The Quick Fix**

x

"Could you hand me that slide?" I asked, directing the question to Britta even though the item was closer to Jeff.

"O-kay," Britta said awkwardly, giving me a funny look.

Everyone was giving us funny looks. From the moment we'd set foot in Biology, Jeff and I had been avoiding eye contact. I wanted to be a big girl and make the first move, but every time I thought about it I would remember something that he'd said, and then I just couldn't. Honestly, I was astonished that he'd even shown up here today. I'd assumed, knowing his aversion to both school and melodrama, that Jeff would've sat this one out. And if I'd known for certain that he'd be coming in, I might've opted to actually ditch class for the first time in my life.

Not that Abed would've let me.

_He_ was talking to Jeff. It seemed a little strained on the latter's part, but every so often they were exchanging full sentences. And I was grateful that Troy was in between me and Abed, because had I been even a little closer I might've been tempted to look their way.

"This doesn't look like a spider," Troy complained, and he was speaking louder than usual. Probably to compensate for the lack of volume on our side of table.

"That's because it's not," Shirley said.

"Um, yeah it is. It's got eight legs."

"Troy, it's a beetle," Britta pointed out. "Those are its pincers."

"Oh." He leaned into the microscope and made a face. "Yeah, not so scary now, are you?"

"Actually, Mr. Barnes," Professor Kane said, clapping a hand down on Troy's shoulder and startling him, "the specimen you're looking at is a North American carrion beetle. It feasts on raw flesh."

He walked away, leaving Troy fixed in place with eyes as wide as dinner plates.

"Is that gonna be on the exam?" Pierce asked. "And I thought we were doing chromanology today."

"Chromatography," I corrected him. "And no. The Dean told the science department that they had to scale back on all of the expensive experiments."

"I heard about that," Britta said excitedly. "Rumor has it the school bought a bunch of second hard Bunsen burners from a police auction. Star-burns said they came from a meth raid."

"Oh!" Shirley gasped. "Thank goodness we didn't take Chemistry then."

"I move we never take a science class again, period," Troy said, scooting his chair away from the table. "Why don't we ever take anything fun, like one of Jeff's blow-off classes?"

I felt everyone's gaze on me again and kept mine on my paper, trying not to flinch at the mention of Jeff's name.

"You had the opportunity to pick our class, Troy," Britta reminded him. "And you blew it."

"Only because you guys never listened to my suggestions."

I rolled my eyes. "Troy, for the last time, Female Sexuality is not a class about figure drawing. And what the hell were we supposed to do with The Art of Fencing? Some of us have actual majors. It's a waste of a credit."

"Abed was down," he said. "And if you bothered to drop by the Dreamatorium once in a while you'd be down, too."

"Here we go again. If I wanted to get whacked with a pool noodle I'd go for a swim."

"Those weren't swords, actually," Abed said passively. "They were worms."

Jeff coughed into his hand and I flushed a little, not wanting to inquire further.

"But what about the chromaniography?" Pierce persisted. "Is that gonna be on the test or what?"

"Chromatography," I repeated. "And I think we just have to learn the general theory."

"The theory of what exactly?" Britta said, frowning.

I winced. I was more than used to carrying everyone's weight, but our test was the day after tomorrow. "Britta, it's Greendale. There won't be much to grasp other than basic terminology."

"Are we meeting at three then?" Shirley asked. "I could do later but I have to pick my boys up from school."

_Fabulous,_ I thought. _One more hour of this?_ I didn't want to meet for another study session if it would prove to be as grating as this class had been.

"Three is fine for me," Jeff answered, and I dug my nails into the table.

"Me, too," Abed said.

_Oh my God I could kill them both!_

"Can I see the microscope now, Troy?" I said abruptly, reaching over and tugging it towards me without waiting for his reply. "I have to write down my observations, too, you know."

"Well, Annie's acting prissier than usual," Pierce said.

"Shh!" "Pierce!" Britta and Shirley hissed together.

"What? She is. Eh, they're not syncing up again, are they, Ay-bed?"

"Not according to my calculations," Abed replied, not looking up from his own lab-write.

All of the women at the table turned to glare at him, including me. If we were going to keep dating, then he definitely had to stop doing that.

"Oh, don't worry I stopped," he told us, pausing mid-scribble when he realized our collective outrage. "Just chalk it up to rote memorization."

"Well, stop remembering then!" Britta huffed. "You don't see us ladies charting your guys' man periods or whatever."

"That's because there's no such thing." Troy smirked, motioning to Britta as if she were crazy.

"Actually there is," Abed said, drawing everyone's attention and surprise. "They're called testosterone cycles, and while every man's is unique, yours and mine are almost exact, Troy. Pierce's cycle, however, is closer to Jeff's, which I attribute to their respective ages."

"What!" Pierce and Jeff exclaimed at the same time, gazing at one another with mutual disgust.

"But it's not a lack of testosterone, is it?" Pierce fretted. "Because I don't spend a lot of time hanging out at public restrooms, if you know what I'm saying."

"Wait a second," Jeff said, looking to Abed with a mix of horror and desperation, "the age thing, that doesn't mean that's there's such a thing as… male menopause, is there?"

"Uh, I think it's called man-opause, Jeff," Britta quipped, and for the first time that hour I had to suppress a smile.

"All right, everyone," Professor Kane called from the front of the class. "Leave your work at the desk and don't forget the exam's this Friday, 10:30 sharp. There's no such thing as tardiness in the pen, so don't think I'm about to make excuses for you people. You show up late, you won't be granted any make up so get here early or face the lockout."

I slid out of my seat and was the first one up, leaving my notes at the corner of the professor's desk. I caught Abed's eye with a soft smile as I walked out. I was about to turn the corner, intent on grabbing a drink at the water fountain and later, as was custom, meeting the girls in the ladies' room. But then a hand grasped my arm.

"Annie."

I shook it off immediately. "Not here," I said without turning.

"Isn't it now or never?"

I moved to face him. "I only have ten minutes, and I said not _here._"

"My car then? It's parked right outside."

"Make it fast," I said hurriedly, knowing that although the rest of the group had headed in the opposite direction, they were liable to wander our way at any moment.

I followed Jeff out the exit and was grateful that he'd stationed himself beneath some low hanging trees. They casted enough shade that, coupled with his Lexus' tinted windows, would hide us nicely. I got in quickly, and nearly choked on whatever air freshener he'd switched to as of late. It reeked of some cloying designer fragrance and fake new car smell.

"Just had the car detailed," Jeff said, noticing my gag reflex as he shut the door. "I'm not crazy about the scent either."

"Abed wanted to talk to you alone," I said immediately, unwilling to make small talk.

"I noticed. I barely got away from him trying to corner me by pushing Garrett in between us."

"That's why I think it's better we talk first," I continued, "because I don't want you saying anything to him that you can't take back."

Jeff bristled. "Abed can take care of himself, Annie."

"Yeah, well, so can I." I turned my head to glower at him.

Jeff let out a heavy breath that seemed to cost him some dignity. "So you're not even going to give me the chance to apologize, are you?"

"You can apologize." I folded my hands in my lap and tried to maintain some poise. "And I can apologize, too. I know I was being a brat. I know I said a lot of things to you that I'm not proud of, but that doesn't mean you were right about me, Jeff. And that doesn't mean you were right about me and Abed."

"I was angry," he said seriously.

"So was I!"

"Yeah, but I was angry _for_ you, Annie. Not just at you!" Jeff exclaimed, his voice just raw enough that it needled through my resentment. "You were pretty vulnerable the other night. If I'd known when I was leaving that you were going to go looking for comfort the first place you—"

"No," I said vehemently. "It didn't happen like that, Jeff. You don't know anything about what happened between Abed and me."

"Annie, look, I'm not blaming Abed—"

"Good, 'cause you shouldn't!"

"I'm _not_," he groaned, obviously frustrated with me now. "I wouldn't blame any guy. Especially because I know how you get."

"What do you mean 'how I get'?" I asked, teeth clenched.

"Oh, come on, Annie. The trembling lip. The bambi eyes? There isn't a man in the world who wouldn't want to fall victim to that Princess Bride spiel you put on."

"Oh, so Abed's the victim now, is it?" I threw at him. "Not me?"

Jeff chewed on it for a moment. "Maybe you both were."

_That's it._

I opened the door to leave, determined to get as far away from him as possible. But he grabbed the other handle of my book bag and yanked me back. "Annie, sit down."

"No! I don't know why I came out here. It's obvious you're not even going to try to understand."

"All right, I'll try but would you _please_ sit down?" Jeff said, looking past me worriedly. "You're starting to draw attention to us."

I got back in and slammed the door, shaking a little as I fought for composure. "I don't know what to do," I confessed. "It's like every time I talk to you things get worse."

"And you think it's easy on me? You came in here with an attitude, Annie."

"That's exactly my point." I met his eyes, saddened by how much hostility I felt when I looked at them. "It's like you bring out the worst in me. I mean I don't even know if I can be friends with you anymore, Jeff. Something's changed."

Jeff went silent and we both sat there restlessly. I redirected my focus to the dashboard, noticing without caring how glossy it looked.

"Annie," he said carefully, "we've been friends for almost three years."

"Two and a half."

"You're really that upset with me?"

"And you aren't with me?" I asked, genuinely curious. "Because the things you say don't just roll off of me, Jeff. I'm more sensitive than that. And I feel like you know that about me. Or, at least, you should…"

It was difficult admitting such a thing to him. I didn't want Jeff to know that he had the ability to affect me that way. If I had the choice, I would've happily disengaged from such a connection. And it disappointed me that, even now, I cared what Jeff thought of me. I wanted him to admit that he was wrong. And if he couldn't, well… then maybe there was no more to be said.

"You know when I left the other night," Jeff told me after a few more tense moments, "I was only trying to protect you."

"I know."

"It wasn't because I… I wanted to leave…"

My head jerked up. "Don't say that."

"But, Annie, I—"

"No, Jeff." My right hand slid to the door handle. "I mean it. You _cannot_ say that to me now."

"Annie, I'm not saying anything, okay? Do you see me making a move on you? I know it's wrong! I'm just trying to explain what was going through my mind at the time."

"I know what you were thinking!" I said fervently, itching to get out there. The car windows were starting to fog and I was beginning to feel clusterphobic. "I get it now. Maybe I didn't get it then but I realized right afterwards. And you were right, Jeff. I'm not Britta. I couldn't have just slept with you and not have it mean anything."

"I never said it wouldn't mean _anything_…" Jeff frowned.

"Maybe you didn't say it but you pretty much spelled it out for me!"

"God, I was thinking about the _long term_, Annie!" he spat, and he sounded quite wounded. "If you didn't matter to me then I wouldn't have bothered. It's not like you're just some woman I picked up at a dive somewhere. You're my friend. You know you're more than friend to me. Plus, you're a sweet girl. And all I knew is that it probably wouldn't end well."

I shrank in my seat, finding it very conflicting to look at his face just then. I saw the same anger I'd seen last night… but it seemed now that there was something else coloring his features. Was it regret? Dejection? Had that been there yesterday? I couldn't remember exactly. It was all such an angry fog.

"I wasn't saying that you don't care about me," I said softly, unsure of how to meet him halfway.

"Well, you acted like it. Worse even. You're acting like I'm a dick for even caring in the first place. And I made an effort, you know? It may have not been the smoothest but I was proud of myself for stopping. And it just plain killed me yesterday when I found out about you and… well," Jeff paused, his forehead knitting as he tried to finish his thought, "I don't know how to explain it exactly. But I _was_ trying to protect you and it felt like it went to waste. And maybe I was mad at myself for not doing more, I… I probably should've."

I closed my eyes. He had said too much already. And while I was no longer hostile, a part of me was beginning to get scared. It felt like I was betraying Abed in some way just by being there. I tried to tell myself that I was only having it out with Jeff to spare Abed the effort, but something else was happening now. Jeff wasn't telling me anything I hadn't already known or guessed, and yet my reaction to his words was not what I expected. I felt sorry for Jeff. I felt guilty. I felt… flattered.

"I need to go," I said.

"Why?"

"I don't know. This feels wrong somehow."

"Annie, I'm not doing anything! We're just talking."

I shrugged, wrapping my arms around myself. "I don't like what I'm hearing though."

Jeff braced himself by setting his hands on the steering wheel. It was silly of him, I thought. It wasn't like he was going anywhere.

"Would you rather I lie?" he asked me gravely.

I honestly couldn't answer that.

So instead I said, "I think you're confused, Jeff."

"Of course I'm confused. It's been two days and you still haven't told me what happened!"

"You know what happened," I said in a quiet voice.

"And?"

"And what?" I groaned, embarrassed that he was forcing me to discuss it. "You left. Abed and I talked. One thing led to another. What more do you want me to say?"

"Well, was that all there was to it?" he probed me. "'One thing led to another', just like that?"

"No, not just like that! It was… an enlightening conversation. And what happened next might've been completely unexpected but it was really great. And I know it may seem unorthodox or whatever and you can judge me all you want but I don't care, Jeff," I said firmly, willing it to be true. "We're good together. He makes me happy."

"But didn't he know that you and I were—"

"Of course, he knew! Abed knows everything. But he also knew that nothing real was ever going to happen between you and me. And he respects me, Jeff. He doesn't treat me like I don't know what I'm doing. And believe it or not, Abed knows what he's doing, too!"

I sat back, breathing a little hard. I hadn't meant to get so contentious, and maybe I was working hard to undo all of the pity Jeff had inspired in me when he'd started speaking genuinely. It wasn't that I wanted to stay angry at him. It was just that anger would've been the easier emotion. It left less room for shades of grey.

Jeff sighed again. "It's not that I don't respect you. I do respect you, Annie. Maybe a little too much, if you catch my drift."

"But that's not respect," I argued. "That's handling me. I don't need to be handled, Jeff. Nobody appointed you my guardian, did they?"

"Like I said, I probably don't have the best way of expressing it…"

"I'll say," I muttered.

He shifted, his face looking a bit drawn. "I'm happy that you're happy."

I stared at him searchingly, but all evidence seemed to the contrary. "Are you?"

"Sure."

"You don't seem like it," I said, unable to restrain myself.

He smiled a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Give me time then."

The digital clock beside the dashboard switched its last digit. "I'm late for class," I realized aloud.

"You gotta go?"

"Yes. Are we going to be okay?" I asked, my voice taut with anticipation.

"I think so."

I waited, my mind racing. "Because the rest of the group is still going to be wondering, Jeff. I need you to be civil. And pretend like it was all some kind of misunderstanding."

"I can do that."

"And Abed, stop avoiding him," I said, pulling my backpack up onto my lap. "He was really adamant last night about tracking you down and making it right."

Jeff scratched his chin. "Does he even know how we fought?"

"Yes, but I spared him the details. He's your friend, too, right? I don't want anybody taking sides."

Jeff reached past the gear shift and laid his hand over mine. I stopped breathing a second and fought the urge to squirm. "I'm sorry I called you a kid, Annie."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier," I mumbled. "You had a right to know."

He let go of me all at once and I got out of the car as fast as I could without further insulting him. I left him there without looking back, feeling extremely out of sorts with all that had transpired. Ostensibly, I knew that our discussion had been a success. I could still be friends with Jeff. I didn't feel that sick swell of hatred that had seemed so daunting and repulsive to me just a few minutes earlier. All in all, I should have been feeling much better about both being an adult and my capacity to forgive.

_But why did you forgive him?_ a nasty little voice taunted. _And isn't it funny that you forgave Jeff _so _quickly?_

_Shut up,_ I answered back. _I did the right thing. Abed would have been proud of me._

_Are you even going to tell him?_

I stopped in front of the water fountain, figuring that since I was already late for my history class, I might as well get something to drink. Seconds stretched into minutes and my stomach was full and I was shivering by the time my thoughts came to fruition.

I would tell Abed, of course. That was a no-brainer. I would never want to lie to him. But then again, there was no need to reveal absolutely everything. After all, knowing that Jeff was hurting might only serve to make Abed as uncomfortable as it did me. And I wanted Abed to be comfortable. I wanted him to feel secure in our relationship so that he would do the same for me.

_It's not such a bad thing,_ I thought. _Abed told me himself that it would blow over. He knows that Jeff is confused. Even Jeff knows that Jeff is confused. And if all he needs is time, it stands to reason that this is going to pass._

_Everything is going to be okay,_ I concluded at long last. _It's all better now._


	6. Detours and Diversions

_Author's Note: I'm currently in my bathrobe (no bowler hat) & I'm dressed this way b/c I have good news & bad news. The bad news is I'm under the weather. The good news is I got to play hooky today & am posting early. Enjoy! Thanks to subscribers, favoriters, and AWESOME reviewers. I love you guys so much. (Especially you, Greytune.) This is the longest A.N. ever. Sorry. There are reasons…_

_Firstly, I realize _Community _is set in Colorado & I know it snows early in that state. But considering Greendale Community College is laden w/ palm trees & so obviously LACC, I hope you'll suspend disbelief for the time being & just assume that even though I set this story in early November, Greendale County's having a late winter. Thereby enabling this particular chapter..._

_And that leads me to other important topics. I wrote this chapter well over a month before episode 3x15 aired. __I had no idea there was going to be a carnival__, & I did go back and edit it thoroughly after watching the episode to ensure there weren't too many similarities. (Took out a Chang cameo.) Lovely Ksentos, however, told me not to change much and I'm so glad I didn't ditch the fair in its entirety. I'm not even gonna switch the duck shooting. Who gives a shit, right? I arrived at it independently. And herRieAnn: Nobody likes spiders, but if we're talking about more serious coincidences that rattled me, I've discussed w/ reviewer Trewyn how surprised I was about the Guinness Book of World Records thing. I wrote that line in Ch 1 ages before the pillow war & it was referring to the time Troy was piling on t-shirts. Even freakier, I had to heavily edit Ch 7 b/c parts of it echoed episode 3x12. And considering how certain segments of last week's fan-f-ing-tastic show reminded me of a strange sort of inverse of _Door Number Two_, I was rolling in shipper heaven on Thursday, kf! (And yeah, I was delighted to see Troy act sort of similar to how I'd depicted him in Ch 1.)_

_***Spoiler Alert - Damn! That was so good, wasn't it? I don't know what I was expecting when Harmon said "Annie + Abed Dreamatorium episode" at Paley Fest but that totally blew my mind. To me _Community's_ weirdest & most ambitious episodes are always amongst its best, but nothing could've prepared me for the brilliance of Joel McHale doing Abed doing Jeff. Or Annie's ridiculous cockney accent! Plus, it was also one of the first times we got to see Abed be a jerk. Which is wonderful! It humanizes him. I especially enjoyed when he called Annie a crappy sidekick (causing her to lash out 'n' "break" him) but we realized later into the episode he was trying to hurt her back for saying that people bend over backwards for him. Human much? Um, Human Being much much?*** _

_OK, back to anonymi. Elviriel: Thank you! Your words of praise are extremely comforting. I'm very cautious when creating conflict, b/c it's hard to walk that line of portraying such lovable characters in a dubious light. / asv: Sorry I scared you. I'm not going to lie & say this is an entirely lighthearted story, but I'm trying to keep it in line with the show's comedic sensibilities._

**Chapter 6: Detours and Diversions**

x

"Nice shot, Annie!" Troy whistled.

"Thanks."

I looked over my shoulder and was amazed to see that a crowd was gathering. Even I had to admit that I was killing it this afternoon. I'd already won each of Shirley's boys a stuffed tiger and Britta a commemorative mug. She wasn't happy about the fact that it read "Greendale Christian Ministries", but that's what made it fun to give to her in the first place.

Shirley's fair had actually wound up being a pretty pleasant outing for the seven of us. The rides and games were nothing spectacular, but they were entertaining nonetheless. Everyone seemed to be in high spirits. At first Troy had gotten sick by gorging on cotton candy but then Britta had dragged him off along with her skanky-looking friend Carla to the parking lot. They'd returned twenty minutes later sans-skank, acting a little sillier and looking a little wonky-eyed. Still, in any case, Troy was no longer nauseous.

Today also marked my and Abed's first official date, or so he'd christened it when he'd handed me a rose before we left the apartment. It was currently poking out of the side of my purse, but it made me smile every time I saw that little flash of pink out of the corner of my eye. I'd caught Jeff looking at the flower when we'd first said hello over an hour ago, but then he'd taken Jordan and Elijah on the Space Twister and I'd forgotten all about it.

"Just one more duck…" I breathed, my tongue between my teeth as I stood before the booth.

"Like fish in a barrel," Abed said behind me, and he and Troy began to "pew". Their little serenade gave me the boost I needed to shoot the sucker down.

"Oh, An-Nie!" Shirley trilled, bouncing Ben in her arms as he started to wail from the all the noise. "That was ten in a row."

"Your prize, Miss?" the booth attendant asked.

"Uh, do you have any toy that might be hypoallergenic for my friend's baby?"

"We got tigers, teddy bears, and Nemos," he replied, sounding bored. "Other than that, just the mugs."

"What do you say, Bennie?" I cooed. But all he did was cry.

"He's usually not this fussy," Shirley said, seeing my disappointment. "He's been acting up all week. I think it might be gas, I'm not sure."

"You're not holding him right," Pierce told her.

"Um, excuse me, Pierce. This is my third child. I think I know how to carry him."

"Women always think they know everything. Give it here!" He reached out.

"Oh, now, Pierce, I'm really not comfortable with—"

Ben's crying ceased almost immediately, and all we looked on in shock as Pierce cradled the baby inside his arm, creating a makeshift hammock.

"Well, I'll be damned," Shirley muttered.

"Pierce, how did you do that?" Troy gaped.

"It's simple, Troy. Babies like a strong masculine presence. Has to do with virility. Sorry to say it, Shirley, but if he's been crying that long then maybe Andre's not holding up his end of the bargain."

"The end of what bargain?" Abed asked innocently.

"Oh, I think she knows," Pierce replied, giving Shirley a suggestive look.

Shirley moved to snatch Ben back but Britta held her arm out. "Shirley, let it go. I'm sure Ben could use a break and besides," she whispered loudly, "how often does Pierce get to feel useful?"

"Your prize?" the attendant reminded us, which probably derailed whatever curious glance Pierce was casting their way.

"The fish," I decided. It was small enough that there was a chance the baby might take to it.

"Abed, you wanna go ride the Viper now?" Troy asked. And from the impatience in his tone I could tell he'd been waiting to ask for a while.

"Yeah, why don't you guys go?" I said cheerfully. "I'm sort of hungry anyways. And why don't we ladies go sit down and have something to eat? Pierce, you don't mind holding the baby for a few more minutes, do you?"

"Mind?" Pierce snorted. "Hell, I was born one."

I blinked, deciding to let it go. I turned to the girls, "Shall we?"

We sat down after having ordered and received our food. Britta was going to town on a giant bowl of nachos but Shirley had turned her nose up at the burrito she'd ordered. "This doesn't look edible."

"I'll eat it," Britta said eagerly.

"Chicken strips are good," I commented, pushing my plate to the center of the table. "We can share. I'm actually not that hungry. I just wanted Troy and Abed to have some playtime."

"Listen to you, Annie," Britta teased. "Already got 'em all figured out, don't you?"

"Well, you know…" I murmured, playing with my straw. "We live together so it's a balancing act. I don't want to smother him."

"I am telling you, Annie, that boy hasn't left your side all day," Shirley said excitedly. "I can't tell you how relieved I am to see you two together. I was beginning to get worried when he and Troy started swapping outfits last week."

"Oh, that was an experiment," I said. "They were trying to see what would happen if they took on each other's personas."

"Just because two men are close doesn't mean they're gay," Britta told Shirley. "It's the ones that make a point of not being close that are gay. They're obviously repressing it. So basically… ninety percent of the male population."

"That something you miscomprehended on your way to becoming the worst psychologist ever?" Jeff asked, sliding in across from Britta. And next to me.

"Duh-doy, it's called the Kinsey Scale," Britta said, annoyed. "Why don't you look it up, Jeff? Or are you too busy repressing your own closeted gayness?"

"Maybe I'm too busy getting the number of the booth babe right over there," Jeff pointed, and then slid a scrap of paper onto the table.

I sipped at my lemonade noisily, hoping that the show was in fact for Britta, and not me.

"Mom, Mom!" Elijah and Jordan raced over, bouncing up and down to the side of us. "We need money for the ring game."

"I ran out of singles." Jeff shrugged apologetically.

"Oh, okay, babies." Shirley's arm disappeared into her massive purse and came out with a fistful of bills. "Let's go."

"No, it's okay, I'll take them," Jeff said, getting up and tugging the money from Shirley's grasp. "I'm kinda making the rounds here."

"Are you sure, Jeffrey? You've been taking care of them all day and—"

"Shirley, please. Those two are a goldmine. They're pretending I'm their 'Big Brother'," Jeff picked up the paper with the woman's number on it and dangled it in front of us. "_This_ is just the tip of the iceberg…"

He walked off with the kids in tow and Shirley shook her head sadly. "Just as I was beginning to have hope for him."

"Y'know, I don't think 'booth babe' is that hot," Britta grumbled, cocking her head. "She's got a real uptight, Republican, Hasselbeck vibe. I'll bet she shops at Anne Klein and watches Fox News."

"She's not too bad," I said mildly. Even though secretly I was thinking the same thing.

"Judge not lest ye be judged, Britta," Shirley added. "You never know when Jeff might meet that one special girl who leads him to realize all of his shortcomings."

Britta rolled her eyes. "So, Annie," she said, shifting the focus back to me. "First date, huh? How's that working out?"

I smiled. "I'm having a good time."

"Oh, see! And you didn't even want to come," Shirley reminded us.

"Ah, geez, are you ever gonna let that go?" Britta said beneath her breath.

"We're going out again later this week, just him and me," I added quickly, wanting to keep everyone on topic. "Since it's an Abed date it's going to be a movie, but I get to pick—so long as I don't choose anything starring Zac Efron, Reese Witherspoon, or Rachel McAdams. That's his list."

"And what's yours?" Shirley asked.

"I don't have one yet," I said thoughtfully. "I guess we'll see on date number three. You know how it is in the beginning. Nothing bothers you. Or at least what might've bugged me we've already worked out via the roommate situation. Also, we're, you know, taking it slow…"

Britta began to cough and her hand flew to her mouth. "'Scuse me," she sputtered. "Soda, wrong pipe."

Shirley and I gawked at her as she doubled over the table, slapping it lightly. By the time she came up for air it was apparent that Britta laughing, and I began to suspect that the joke was on me.

"What's so funny?" I demanded.

"No-nothing," Britta wheezed, giggling. "Oh, man, just look at your face!"

"Britta!" Shirley admonished. "You know that's not very nice. What's the matter with you today anyways?"

Britta straightened up immediately, pressing her lips together and quieting down while I considered whether or not to divulge what the "matter" was. It would wipe the smile off her face, that's for sure. And if Britta didn't explain why she was laughing at me in three seconds flat then I was going to leave the table...

"I'm sorry, Annie," Britta grinned, "but it serves you right for holding out on us."

"Holding out?" Shirley piped up. "What does she mean, Annie?"

And that's when it dawned on me.

_Troy!_

Of course it would be Troy. How had I ever been stupid enough to leave him alone with anyone, least of all Britta? I should've had Abed chaperoning him this whole time. And now he'd gone and done it. Troy had blabbed and everyone knew. Might as well stick a fork in it and call it a—

_Oh, no._

"Please don't tell Pierce," I said abruptly. "I can handle everyone else knowing. Just not him. I mean I don't want to repeat old patterns but, Britta, you _know_ how he'll get."

"Relax, Annie. I wasn't planning on broadcasting the news. I just enjoy knowing your cute little schoolgirl routine has its limitations, that's all."

"Limitations?" Shirley repeated.

"Ah!" I gasped, offended. "It wasn't a routine. Abed was the one who felt like we should keep that part private. He was only trying to protect me."

"Hmm, how chivalrous of him. And does he help put the chastity belt back on when he's done with you?"

"Britta!" Shirley shrieked again, positively scandalized. And then she looked at me, her eyes widening. "Oh."

"Yes, oh," I grumbled. "Go ahead. Laugh it up!"

"Oh now, honey, nobody's laughing. Mining for details, however," Shirley's voice dropped, "that's a different story."

"Shirley!" I set my hand on my chest, scandalized myself now.

"Oh, drop the act, Annie." Britta crossed one leg over the other and leaned in assertively. "Your secret's out so you might as well spill."

I sat back. Their faces were so hungry that I knew I wouldn't be able to duck and dive out of this one.

_Troy is gonna pay for this_, I swore to myself.

"Okay, well," I began uncertainly, "the first thing you should know that we are taking it slow now. The other night was… it was a spur of the moment sort of thing. It just happened."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Britta waved, "but how _was_ it?"

I chewed the inside of my cheek, doing my utmost not to smile. "It was good."

"How good?" Shirley pressed.

"Really good."

"Scale of one to ten?" Britta asked.

I bit back a giggle. "Eleven."

"Really?" Shirley's jaw went slack. "Abed?"

I shrugged, not wanting to get visibly cocky about the matter but feeling proud just the same. "I know. He surprised me, too."

"So he asked you out and then you just sealed the deal then and there?"

"No, not really," I said carefully, keeping my eyes on my drink and not on Britta. "We kissed. And that was really nice so we just… kept going."

"But why are you stopping now?" Shirley wondered. "Not that I'm condoning premarital relations but you two do sleep ten feet away from each other. Isn't that difficult?"

"Totally," Britta seconded. "I mean, he's right there."

"Well, that's why we're doing it." I felt a little funny about having to defend a decision that I figured any woman ought to intuitively understand. "It might be too much too soon. And besides, I really like him."

"Aw, Annie," Britta drawled, softening in a way she wasn't prone to do. "That's so sweet."

"What's so sweet?" Abed asked.

All three of us jumped as Troy and Abed seemed to magically appear at the head of the table. The fact that none of us had seen or heard them coming was testament to the engrossing nature of our conversation.

"We were just talking about Ben," I said quickly. "How was the ride?"

"Fun mostly. But Troy got sick again," Abed motioned. Troy staggered over and plopped beside Britta, looking miserable and very green around the gills.

"Want to go back to my car?" she asked him. "I have some more ha—err, homeopathic medicine in the glove compartment."

He nodded feebly.

"I'm gonna go check on Bennie," Shirley said all of a sudden, getting up in such a clockwise manner that I knew she was trying to avoid looking at Abed. "I don't know what I was thinking leaving him with Pierce for this long."

Everyone seemed to clear out in less than a minute, Troy's arm loose around Britta's waist and Shirley's hands clutching tightly at her handbag. Abed and I looked at each other bemusedly.

"Well, that was weird," he said.

"What was?" I asked, my voice a little high. "Hey, are you hungry? There are chicken strips. They're not as good as Greendale's chicken fingers but I think they're decent."

"Are they Halal?"

"Oh, Kosher? Yes, I checked."

"Cool." He sat down across from me and began to munch on one tepidly. "You know, while we're on the subject of religion, I wanted to ask you something."

"Oh?" I smiled, relieved that Abed had moved onto another means of conversation. "Ask me what?"

"What are you doing for Christmas?"

"Um, I don't know. That's over five weeks away. Why?"

"Well, because I'm not doing anything. And I figured since you're Jewish there was a sixty-three percent chance that you wouldn't have any plans either."

"Sixty-three percent?" I questioned, staring at him.

"Statistically speaking, your newfound popularity, close relationship with your Gentile father, and winning good looks all might account for the probability of plans," Abed explained, never straying from his even tone. "So I thought I might as well ask before anybody else does."

I was stunned silent, unsure how to respond. "Did you ask Troy if he has plans?" I said finally.

"Yes. He's spending it with family. But I'm not so close to my parents anymore, and I am growing closer to you. If it falls under the jurisdiction of too fast or not dialing things back, I understand. But keep in mind it is a month away, so the offer remains. You don't have to answer right now."

"Abed," I said quickly, "I would love to spend Christmas with you."

A moment passed before an easy smile graced his face. "Yeah?"

"Definitely. I mean, we're dating. You know you get dibs."

"Dibs, cool," he said quickly, his eyes warmer now. "We can do everything secular. Trim the tree and all that. Or a Hanukkah bush, if you prefer."

I beamed at him, realizing that he'd put a lot of thought into it. "I can make brisket. I haven't done it in years. It'll be so much fun."

"I can do tabouleh…?"

"Yeah! That sounds great." I rose from my seat and sat next to Abed, laying my head on his shoulder.

"You're happy," he said, sounding pleased.

"Very happy," I sighed with contentment.

"You had a nice time?"

"Mmm-hmm. Didn't you?"

"Yes." He slid his arm around me. "You want to go home soon though? It's getting windy."

"Maybe in fifteen minutes," I thought aloud. "Or whenever Troy's feeling less queasy. That is, unless Britta's willing to give him a ride?"

"About that…" Abed turned to me seriously. "Troy told Britta that we slept together."

"I know," I admitted, happy that he'd said it before me. "Britta pretty much spilled the beans herself before you guys came over just now."

"Oh. That explains all the eye shifting and down-turned mouths."

"We're not telling Pierce though," I informed him. "Not if I don't want any more lewd text messages. Just let him think things worked out naturally. There's no harm in that, is there?"

"Yeah, that seems best. Same with Jeff, too, right?"

I stiffened, the weight of Abed's slim arm suddenly feeling very heavy upon my shoulders.

"Annie?"

I twisted in his grasp and kissed Abed soundly. It seemed to me a little wet and impetuous, but he responded to it immediately nevertheless. His fingers slipped into my hair and after a second or so I swiftly forgot what I was kissing him for. The whole fair went blurry around its edges and my mouth only broke from his after Abed tugged me at the waist, making me gasp.

"Too much?" he asked.

"No," I said, even though I was having definite Paintball flashbacks. "But I think we should go home soon. There are kids here…"

I looked up and realized that thankfully, what with our table being so out of the way and secluded, no one was paying attention to us.

Except for one person.

Jeff turned around so fast and moved so quickly I almost wasn't sure it was him. After all, he was a distance away. But the two little boys running around just a hop and a skip behind him gave me the confirmation I dreaded.

"You know, it is getting cold…" I grabbed Abed's hand and urged him up. "Let's go find Troy."

My legs were a little wobbly as I stood. Whether from Abed's kiss or Jeff's stare, I wasn't sure. But I had had a lovely time. And now I had Christmas plans to look forward to. Jeff would be fine, I was sure of it. He had Booth Babe to keep him company. And even if he didn't, there would always be a line of girls winding around the block...

I frowned, the thought stinging more than it should.

"This way," Abed said, pulling me forward.

And forward I marched.


	7. Old Habits Die Hard

_Author's Note: Kaboodles! Sorry. That makes no sense. I just felt like typing a silly word because I just completed a crazy workout & it filled me with endorphins. Or maybe I'm still giddy from last Thursday & the best episode of the season... DUM, DUM! I want to send mad love to my two muses from overseas, Greytune + Ksentos. Holla! (Okay, I really am in a silly mood.) Also, I'd like to apologize for the serious lack of Abed in this chapter. (This chapter in and of itself was a necessary evil.) But I assure you there's heaps of him in forthcoming chapters (esp. the next one) so you all you Abed-ers out there can chill. _

_Others to be noted: anon – Thank you. Trust me when I say it's gonna get a lot juicier. Although I think _Community _is fairly juicy for a sitcom. / CrystolConeticut – Oh, you know I wrote that lookie-loo in for voyeurs like us. Happy to hear from you! / heRieAnn – So observant. Yes, I was hoping people would catch that. Up top, sugar bear!_

_Also, I'd like to remind people, I wrote the rough draft of this chapter long before episode 3x12. Not that it matters much after such heavy editing, but it's still good to mention b/c it touches on a similar theme...  
><em>

**Chapter 7: Old Habits Die Hard**

x

_I miss Hot and Brown_, I thought, grumbling to myself as I was handed a sad styrofoam cup filled with whatever dreadful drip was on the pot. Ever since the café had burned down several weeks ago, the food in Greendale's cafe-torium had seemed that much drearier. If I'd been patient enough this morning I might've stopped somewhere and picked up a latte before I went to school. But patience in the morning was not my strong suit. Even now living with the boys, it was still my most highly-strung time of day.

I paused just outside the breakfast line, my eyes searching for a good table to sip my coffee. I spotted a halo of golden blond hair and smiled.

"Hi, Britta!" I said brightly, taking a seat opposite her.

"Oh, Annie," she groaned, and it was then that I noticed she was sporting a serious case of bed-head and aviator sunglasses. "Not so loud, 'kay? I had a late night."

"Late night?" I frowned. "Yesterday you said you were just going to go home and sleep."

"Yeah, well, that's what I thought, too. Who knew Sunday was the new Saturday, huh?"

"Actually, I don't think it is." I looked at her tray and saw that it was full of food. It was atypical of her to eat so much unless she was—"Britta!"

"What? I told you not so loud!"

"Are you… are high right now? _Again_?"

"No!" She pulled off her sunglasses and I got a good look at her eyes, which were blue and clear albeit rather weary. "And what do you mean 'again'?"

"Oh, please. Thanks to you Troy ate the entire contents of our refrigerator last night. Including half a box of raw pancake mix that was probably expired."

"Blech!" Britta wrinkled her nose. "Well, that's not my fault. That's how everyone reacts the first time. And for your information, nobody outside of Greenwich gets lit in the morning anymore."

"Tell that to my support group," I said, pulling the lid off my coffee and blowing at it carefully. It smelled burnt. I took a small sip and was dismayed to learn that it tasted burnt, too.

"Cream," Britta recommended, handing me a small container. "It works wonders."

"Actually, can I have a piece of your banana?" I saw it was the one thing on Britta's tray that she had yet to take a bite out of.

"Yeah, sure." She handed it over. "Take the whole thing. Nothing's helping this hangover anyways."

"Hangover?" My fingers slowed mid-peel. "Why were you drinking last night?"

"Well, it wasn't my idea. But Jeff had a bottle of single-malt just sitting there on the mantle, so…"

I froze, my eyes darting wildly from Britta's face to her hair to her outfit. Her hair was tousled, but for once it wasn't deliberate. And even though the leather jacket had changed, it was now obvious to me that she was in the same shirt she'd been wearing yesterday at the fair. And probably the same pants…

"You, uh," I licked my lips but found my mouth was suddenly dry, "you were at Jeff's apartment last night?"

"Yeah—oh!" Britta's tired eyes flew open and she looked at me hastily. "Oh, crap. This, this isn't what it looks like. I mean, it is. It _was_... But it's not anything major. Jeff and I aren't dating or even back to sleeping together or anything. It was just a relapse."

"And by 'just a relapse' you mean you _didn't_ sleep together?" I asked hopefully.

"No, we did." Britta cringed and put her head in her hands. "Don't tell anybody," she said, her voice muffled.

"Britta, it's okay," I forced myself to say, even though I was feeling anything but. "You remember last year. Nobody cares anymore."

_Especially not me_, I thought sternly.

"Yeah, I know. It's just embarrassing in a way. Feels like I fell off the wagon."

I reached for her wrists and pried the fingers off her face gently. "What happened?"

_Do not be mean,_ I told myself. _Don't judge her. Don't even let on for a second that this is upsetting to you._

"What happened was I woke up twenty minutes late with my face in a pile of Charmeuse. Do you have any idea how uncomfortable it is sleeping on silk? Not only is it pretentious, it's like a slippery sweatbox! And then I didn't even have time to go home and change," Britta continued to rant, brushing the frizz from her face. "I had to wait until after my Psychology of Gender class at eight and, yes, don't mention it, I realize the irony. Anyways, I probably should be headed home right about now but I'm cranky and I'm starving and _way_ dehydrated."

Britta paused to chug the remnants of her water bottle while I sat there squirming, trying my hardest to filter all of my questions.

"Jeff didn't fix you anything before you left?" I finally decided on.

"There wasn't time," she said. "Besides, he was looking way worse than I was."

_Well, that's telling._

"How much did you guys have to drink?"

"More than enough, believe you me." Her fingers tore at the top of a muffin before moving onto an apple wedge. "I'm never drinking again," she swore, her mouth full.

"Hmmph," I muttered. "I'll bet Jeff said the same thing…"

"Couldn't tell. He was pretty incoherent. And clingy. It took all of my strength just to push him off me so I could get the hell out of there."

I winced, that gnawing feeling growing in my gut. I didn't need to know any more. I didn't even want to know any more. And yet I couldn't help myself…

"Do you remember what happened?"

"'Course I do. I'm thirty, not nineteen. Oh, God." Britta's face went white and she stared off into space. "I'm thirty. I'm thirty freaking years old and I'm still waking up late for class with too much booze in my system. Damn it, Annie! What the hell is wrong with me? I feel like I'm going through a crisis here."

"Nothing's wrong with you," I promised, smiling weakly.

Even though part of me was feeling rather resentful towards her, I couldn't bear to be cruel to Britta when she was this frazzled. I'd spent much of the last two years looking up to her. Her style, her confidence, her life experiences… they had all seemed so glamorous in the beginning. But at the moment I felt so much more stable in comparison that I knew it was my duty to be supportive.

"Everything's wrong with me," Britta moaned. "I've got a pile of overdue bills, a crap job that's on thin ice, and a hair curler that won't work. Also, yesterday I woke up at noon and my cat just gave me this look."

"What look?"

Her eyes narrowed. "Like he was judging me."

"I'm sure he wasn't…" I trailed, thinking of how I might bring the conversation back around to Jeff.

"Are you, Annie? Because I got another C on my latest paper. Here, look."

Britta handed me a slim stack of wrinkled sheets and I browsed the first few paragraphs. "I'm not surprised," I said. "You call Carl Jung a chauvinist pig in your opening statement."

"Well, he was!"

"Something tells me that's not what the paper was supposed to be about."

"Oh, whatever. I'm doomed anyways. You know Jeff is right, I'm never going to be a therapist." Britta's head started to droop towards the table again but I clapped my hands together, startling her.

"Britta," I began in a stark, assertive tone, "you are thirty years old."

"Stop reminding me."

"Well then, pull yourself together already! You are an adult, you are in school, and you made a commitment. Not just to yourself, but to the whole group that you will graduate on time with the rest of us. You're just in a slump is all. But hey, I can proof-read your next essay. And what does Jeff know? He totally faked being a lawyer. At least you're honest in your academic pursuits, right?"

Britta perked up, her eyes brightening as she straightened in her seat. "You're right, Annie."

"Of course I'm right," I said firmly, taking another long sip of the unpalatable coffee.

"I am going to be a therapist. Hell, I'm going to be the best therapist. In fact, I'm gonna get so good I'll soon be able to treat you guys."

"That's the spirit," I seconded, even though I was beginning to realize that I may've taken things a step too far.

"I'd totally do it for free," Britta went on, stabbing her fork into her food as she started eating again with gusto. "You guys can be like my thesis project. I mean, Shirley's baking problem, that's something I can tackle, right? Who knows? Maybe I'll even experiment with Jeff…"

"Oh, and how would you do that?" I asked, happy that she was finally on topic.

"Oh, I dunno. Use some of that reverse psychology stuff."

"Err, I don't think Jeff responds well to pop-psych," I said, thinking back. "He uses enough of it in his own daily life to get people to do his bidding. He'll smell it coming a mile away..."

"Yeah, but that was before. You know, there's a difference between being a two bit con man and a dedicated practitioner of the mental arts, Annie."

I shook my head, clearing it of any free floating thoughts. Britta was making it really difficult for me to ask about yesterday night without sounding like either a busybody or a pervert. And it was very unfair of her, I thought. Especially after the way she'd pounced on me about my sleeping with Abed for the first time. But maybe that was the point. Britta and Jeff were old news. So for me to try and question her now would seem very strange and might give away the fact that I was jealous.

_Hold up—jealous?_

Where had that word come from? I wasn't jealous! I couldn't be. It didn't make any sense whatsoever for me to feel that way. There had to be a misfire in my brain somewhere. I wasn't jealous of Britta. I was concerned about Jeff. I was worried that he was going through a hard time and that I was the source of it. What I was feeling right now was nothing more than misplaced guilt and a pinch of trepidation. That was all there was, because that was all there could be…

"You okay, Annie? You look like you're gonna be sick."

"I'm fine. It's sorta hot in here though, isn't it?"

"Not really..." Britta peered at me curiously. "The Air Conditioning Repair Annex turned off heating for the main campus, remember? Dean Pelton said it was part of budget cuts."

"Might be the coffee," I said. But I drank more of it to wash down the sour on my tongue.

"Annie, stop!" Britta snatched the cup from my hands. "Just cool down a second, all right? You look really bad. I'm gonna go get you something to drink."

She got up and I sat there waiting. I felt so confused and conscience-stricken. And also so terribly anxious I had to fight the urge to take off before she came back. But there Britta was being a good friend. Looking after me when she was the one who was genuinely sick while I, well, I was just a horrible human being…

_I suck! _I thought. _I suck, I suck, I suck!_

"Here." Britta's voice broke through my storm of self-deprecation, and she gave me a soft pat on the back as she set some orange juice before me. "And eat the banana."

"Okay," I mumbled. And I complied as best I could, despite the fact that my stomach was literally churning.

"So would it help distract you any if I told you all about my pathetic night?" Britta asked casually.

_Don't say yes. Don't say yes. Don't say—_

"Maybe."

"So Jeff has taken up ab-rolling. There were about three of the zippy little contraptions sitting right underneath his bed. And it's called rolling so they do have wheels. Long story short, I almost slipped and broke my leg this morning."

"Uh-huh."

"Also, when we were getting undressed last night his wallet fell out of his pants and then his card fell out of his wallet. So I look at it and go, 'Is this a Pottery Barn credit card?' And he says, 'Yes'. Just like that! Not even a hint of shame. So I say, 'I can't have sex with a man who shops at Pottery Barn.' I mean, Pottery Barn! What the hell is he shopping for in there that he needs an actual credit line just for that store? But you know what he said? He said that he couldn't have sex with a woman who shops at goodwill. Which is so off point because hello, they're called thrift stores, and buying vintage is so much better for the planet and Zooey Deschanel—"

"Did you and Jeff talk about me and Abed last night?" I blurted out, my voice bordering on shrill.

"What?"

_Oh, God._ I shrank in my seat. _What did I just say?_

"I was just… just wondering because… because of what Troy said and because of what I, um, told you and Shirley yesterday afternoon."

Britta's mouth tightened a little. Her eyes grew guarded and I knew that I'd really stepped in it this time. "We might have mentioned you. In passing, maybe. But I didn't get the impression that Jeff didn't know…?"

"Oh, no, he knew," I said quickly, attempting to backtrack.

"Huh. And does this have to do with you and Jeff acting so weird last week?" Britta asked pointedly.

"I have to go." I grabbed my backpack and scrambled to my feet.

"Annie, wait, I—"

"No, I honestly do. I'm late for class."

I half-walked, half-ran out of there as fast as my ballet flats could carry me. I made my way to one of the less frequented hallways and ducked into a classroom that I knew to be out of rotation. The rumors said something about an ant farm run amuck but... beggars couldn't choosers. Breathing heavily, I took a seat against the door, unmindful of the dirty floor. The walls felt as if they were closing in on me and I started to count, trying to get a hold of myself.

I didn't know what I was doing. I hadn't come so close to having an outright panic attack in three years. But I knew what I'd just done, and it was the absolute worst and most conspicuous thing that a person could do given the circumstances. I'd practically spelled out to Britta that something fishy was going on between me and Jeff. And the funny thing was, there really wasn't. Jeff was fine. For all my worrying about slighting his ego, the guy had clearly moved on. Whether or not he was going about it in the most adult or responsible way was of little relevance. At least he was having sex with people he knew….

_So it comes down to me then_, I realized.

It was all me. Britta had slept with Jeff last night and for some reason, I had a problem with it. I was jealous. I was petty. I was pathetic.

_But I don't understand…_

How was it even possible for me to feel that way about Jeff and be falling head over heels for Abed at the same time? I was very excited about Abed. I wasn't about to risk what we had for anything. And yet I'd somehow managed to risk everything in the space of a few short minutes. But no more. I had to be a grown up about this. I had to talk to Britta again before things blew themselves out of proportion. And I was going to—

My cell phone rang. The screen read "Jeff" and my heart began to beat wildly. I might've just let it keep ringing and go to voicemail. But that would be the child's way out, I knew.

_Nut up, Edison_, I told myself.

"Hello?" I said cautiously.

"Okay, what the hell did you just say to Britta?" came an angry voice from the other end.

I flinched. "I didn't really say anything. She just—"

"She _just_ gave me an earful about having issues and keeping things from her and something about me being hung up on you. It's 10 a.m., Annie! Do you have any idea how annoying it is to be woken up by Britta Perry on a Monday morning and—"

"I never said you were hung up on me!" I cut him off. "And maybe your little wake up call wouldn't have been quite so annoying if you and Britta hadn't gotten sloshed last night!"

That silenced him momentarily. But not for long.

"I don't see how that's any of your business," he said stonily.

"It's not!" I squeezed my phone tight and grimaced at the desperation in my voice. "I didn't even want to know."

"Are you still mad at me about something? Because I already apologized."

"I'm not mad about anything. I was just… just caught off guard when Britta told me about you two. I might've made a face."

"A face?" He sounded incredulous.

"Not all of us are good poker players, Jeff."

He went quiet and the moments seemed to stretch painfully.

"Were you jealous?" he asked, and it seemed as if he was challenging me.

"Don't flatter yourself," I said huffily. "I was surprised."

"Well couldn't you have channeled your _surprise_ into anything else?" Jeff said, his voice rising. "Britta was really pissed, Annie. She's acting like she's never going to speak to me again—_for realsies_! Her words, not mine. Look, I helped you out last week when I put my foot in my mouth, right? Can't you do something to—"

"I _will_," I interrupted, my eyes watering now. "I'll talk to her."

"Yeah, and what are you going to tell her?"

"The truth! I'll say that I tried to make something happen between us last week and you pushed me away. And that that's why you were weirded out about me and Abed and that's why I was weirded out about you and her. That's all, Jeff. I'll put it all on me. And I'll fix it, I promise."

His tone softened. "Are you crying?"

"No." I rose to my feet and wiped at my eyes.

"You sound like you're crying."

"I'm not!" I said vehemently.

"Fine. Have it your way then," he sighed, his voice still tinged with concern. "I wasn't trying to be mean."

"I know you weren't." I swatted at the lint and dust on my skirt with my free hand. "And I wasn't trying to suggest anything to Britta. I just… I just acted a little funny. That's all."

"Okay," Jeff said tightly. "I guess I'll see you later then?"

"Yeah, later," I told him. And then I ended the call as quickly as I could.

_What the hell is wrong with me?_ I wondered. _And Britta thinks _she's_ a mess? I'm hiding out in ant-infested classrooms and spinning drama out of thin air! _

I yanked open the door and made my way over to the cafeteria, hoping that Britta would still be there. If not, I knew where her parking space was. And where she lived. At this point I even knew the freaky dives she frequented.

Damage control.

That was something I could handle for now. But how was I to ensure that I wouldn't _keep_ putting my foot in my mouth? And more importantly, how was I going to know for certain that that little twinge of jealousy I'd felt wasn't genuine…

_It doesn't matter if it's genuine_. _All that matters is that it's stupid. And if I want to ignore it then I'm going to ignore it. Plain and simple._

_Just like my feelings for Abed_, I realized. _I'm going to uncomplicate my life._

Plain and simple.


	8. Faux Pas

_Author's Note: Ugh, you guys, I've had such a crap day. Not to get into specifics but let me just say two words: freeway & tow truck. Actually, that was three. Anyways, great big hugs to subscribers & reviewers. (Esp. K & Grey!) Also, thanks to my anonymous reviewer Gaby Gal for noticing the little things. Oh, & in case anyone is wondering, the film in question is _The Ides of March.

**Chapter 8: Faux Pas**

x

"Did you think that actress was pretty?"

"Which one?"

"The one playing the love interest. Who else?"

"She was pretty, but not as attractive as you."

I smiled, looping my arm through Abed's as we walked outside the movie theater. "You're already well trained."

"Trained?"

"Yeah, you already know what you're supposed to say."

Abed slowed his step. "No, it's just that you're genuinely more attractive. People say beauty's in the eye of the beholder, but research shows it can be drafted out via things like waist-to-hip ratio and facial symmetry. There are formulas I could show you...?"

"No, it's okay," I laughed, all the more flattered now. "I trust your system better than anyone's opinion."

"Kay, cool. Where do you want to eat?"

I looked around hesitantly. "Maybe you should pick. I got to pick the movie."

"Which was decent," Abed said, growing slightly more animated. "Part-political thriller, part-Greek tragedy. Not to mention an insightful commentary in the same vein of _The Manchurian Candidate_. Thank you for eliminating your more romantic impulses."

"Eh, there was nothing girly on the marquee anyways," I said, although I was quite pleased to have chosen wisely. "Don't go giving me too much credit now."

"Still, I think you should decide where we eat," Abed insisted.

"We could always get a burger. The Greasy Fork is right down the street."

"Britta says we're supposed to be boycotting it. She made us sign a petition, remember?"

I rolled my eyes. "She's not your mother, Abed. Besides, what Britta doesn't know won't hurt her."

"Fair enough," Abed agreed, and I dragged him along past a series of odd bars and restaurants until we reached our final destination. It was just before peak hours and already starting to fill up. We landed one of the good booths and I was very relieved to sit down again. I'd worn especially high heels this evening and while they'd looked great in the store, they were quickly proving to pinch on their test drive.

Once we were situated I scanned our surroundings. "They refurbished the place," I noticed.

"Kinda had to, didn't they?"

"Oh yeah. It was a real mess."

"Speaking of which, I think we should do something equally elaborate but with better laid plans for Jeff's birthday this year," Abed said. "Seems only fair, right?"

"Mmm-hmm," I murmured, keeping my eyes on the menu. "But that's not for awhile. Troy's birthday is closer. We should plan his party first."

Fortunately the waiter showed up to take our orders, which spared me from having to talk anymore about Jeff. Things had been a little out of whack this week after my mishap regarding him and Britta. Britta had accepted my explanation, of course, and had apologized to Jeff for verbally thrashing him, but every so often I felt as if she was staring at me too closely for comfort's sake. Jeff, on the other hand, was still making a point of not looking at me much at all. The two of them combined served to make me very antsy and I may've overcompensated by sticking to Troy and Abed like cheese on a cracker.

It wasn't hard to do. Turns out I didn't bother them much. I'd had to fashion a number of makeshift costumes on a moment's notice but that was all right, too. I liked being around the boys. Abed especially. I'd been looking forward to our date all week, and had even purchased an entirely new outfit for the occasion. Not that I expected him to notice, but it was nice to feel fresh and feminine just the same.

"You should take off your sweater," Abed suggested.

I blushed and looked to the waiter who was still within earshot. "Why should I do that?"

"It's white. And new, right? Ketchup will stain."

"Um, okay." I slid the garment off and frowned. "I'm not a messy eater though."

"You don't have to be. The odds are stacked against you."

"Odds?"

"Yes, odds. And if the article of clothing is new, the chances of spillage tend to increase. Couple that with the fact that is a date and you clearly made an effort to look nice, and now you're just soliciting a classic sitcom scenario."

I studied him, amused that he seemed so serious about it. "You think a lot of things through, don't you, Abed?"

"Maybe. But it's really more about patterns than predictions. Hindsight is twenty-twenty."

"Oh, I don't know. It always feels like you're one step ahead…"

"Sometimes I am. I'm already planning our next date's itinerary."

"You are?" I was delighted to hear it. "Where are you taking me?"

"It's a surprise."

I chewed on that for a moment. A surprise by Abed's standards might mean spelunking in a sewer for all I knew.

"Will you give me an idea of what to wear first?" I asked cautiously.

"What you're wearing now is fine."

"I'm excited!" I said, bouncing in my seat. "And how do you think the date I planned is panning out so far? Is it living up to your _TV Land_ expectations?"

"Oh, no." Abed shook his head. "Tonight isn't actually supposed to be funny. That would be a letdown and the stakes are high enough. That's why I told you to take off your sweater."

"Huh?" I sat back, puzzled by the statement. "What do you mean the stakes are high?"

"Well, earlier today I wrote a Dear John letter to a woman I've been engaging in an on-again, off-again, passing flirtation. So I guess you could say I'm effectively putting all of my eggs in one basket…"

"Oh," I said blankly. And then it caught up to me. "Wait, _what_!"

Several of the neighboring patrons turned to gawk at us and I set my hand to side of my face, trying to hide the pink in my cheeks.

"I'm sorry but _what_?" I whispered fiercely. "You've been dating someone this whole time and you didn't tell me?"

The range of emotions that I experienced in that moment was quite frenetic. I felt shocked, betrayed, saddened, angry and, last but not least, incredibly jealous. I knew I didn't exactly have license to react that way. The "whole time" Abed and I had been together amounted to less than two weeks and, after all, we had yet to make any serious commitments. But it still stung. I didn't know who this woman was or what she meant to him but I instantly wanted to rip her hair out. And it pained me very deeply that Abed would keep such a thing from me.

_Like the way you've been keeping things from him?_ a little voice tsked.

_Stop that! I haven't been keeping anything important. Nothing's even happening between me and Jeff. It's all just a neurotic delusion at my end. But for Abed to neglect telling me when we hooked up that he was already seeing somebody is not cool. And how was he even getting away with it? I see him all the time! _

"We're not dating," Abed told me, answering one question and exchanging it for another. "I said it was a passing flirtation."

"Well, what the hell does that mean?" I crossed my arms over my chest. "You know, I think I know you pretty well by now, Abed. You're not the flirty type."

_If he did Don Draper for her I will kill him…_

"Yeah, but it wasn't really your idea of flirting. It was more like a game."

"A 'game'?" My eyes widened and I started to envision all sorts of crazy things. "Just what is this woman into exactly?"

"Serving her country mostly," Abed said placidly, smiling at the waiter as he set a milkshake in front of him. "More specifically protecting the life and welfare of the Vice President of the United States."

"_What!_" This time I didn't bother to lower my voice. It barely registered that the waiter was right there, trying to pour some water into my glass.

"She's a secret service agent. I met her when you and Jeff ran for class president. You know, the day Joe Biden almost stopped by our campus."

The waiter was mopping up the spill he'd left near my elbow. "So she's older?" I asked impatiently.

"Yeah. Late twenties probably. Maybe early thirties. Not sure exactly."

The waiter scurried off, shooting a glance over his shoulder.

"And what does she look like?" I demanded.

Abed squinted and he began to recite as if on rote. "Approximately 5'5". Blond hair, blue eyes. 34, 25, 36."

"So you've seen her naked, that's what you're telling me?" I was so agitated by this I was seconds away from throwing my water in his face.

_Passing flirtation, my ass!_

"No. I didn't say that…" Abed paused and then he looked at me a little fixedly, his mouth opening. "Wait a second. Is this a fight? Are we fighting right now?"

"Of course, we're fighting!"

"Huh." He scratched his head. "Classic date night snafu number four. Even I have to admit I did not see this coming."

"Oh, knock it off, Abed! Just who is this woman to you and how long was I going to go on not knowing about her?"

"She's unimportant," he said immediately.

"She's important enough to get you to write out a letter!"

"An email, actually. She's not in town that often. Most of our contact is online."

"And how often is she in town?" I said, seething.

"Only three times this past year. And we've never been intimate. She just enjoys watching me."

"_Watching_ _you?_" I wasn't sure how much more of this I could take. "In what way?"

"Oh, not like that. I meant observation-wise. We like to pretend I'm a credible threat to national security. It's her only excuse to get outside of D.C. and come spend time with me."

I was stunned silent, no longer so angry as I was spooked. I looked at him incredulously, but he seemed to have no grasp that what he'd just said was deeply disturbing.

"I don't know what to say, Abed," I said heavily after a few seconds. "That sounds totally perverted and… kind of racist."

"I prefer to think of it as a convenience more than a gambit, but yeah, I suppose you're right."

I was still playing with my napkin uncomfortably when our food showed up. Abed and I didn't speak until after it had been set out and by then I was feeling decidedly wounded.

"Annie," he said seriously once the waiter was gone, "it didn't mean anything."

"Okay," I muttered.

"And it's not what you're thinking either. Robyn's like me. We're… different."

"Oh, so it's 'Robyn' now," I spat bitterly.

_I hate that name._

"We hardly spoke in person. She was usually too busy keeping up pretense. But that's what made it fun."

"Fun?" I repeated angrily, my head snapping up. "How the hell is it _fun_ to pretend to be a terrorist while a near stranger keeps tabs on you from afar? I mean is that what you're into, Abed? Because I can't do stuff like that. _Inspector Spacetime_ is one thing, but this… it's just—"

"Weird," he finished, his shoulders shrugging at me from across the booth. "I'm weird, Annie."

"Well, I'm weird, too," I said defensively. "We all have our quirks."

"Not like me and Robyn. It wasn't so much attraction as it was excitement at having found one another. We get along really well. It's like another wavelength."

"So she's what… your female Troy?"

_How am I supposed to compete with that?_

"No," Abed said, his tone ever-so-slightly more emphatic. "She's more like a female me. Which is why if we ever had dated we probably would've grown tired of each other quickly. That's why I was happy to break things off with her to be with you. You're normal. You help ground me."

A small stone plunked to the bottom of my stomach. "I help 'ground' you? Is that why you're dating me, Abed? Because I'm normal?"

"Pretty much, yeah." He took a sip of his milk-shake.

Not exciting.

Not sexy.

Not even cute. Just _normal_. Some sort of trusty anchor to tether Abed to the real world so that he could be a little more functional. It was like all of my worst fears come to life. I was the boring one. The uptight one. I was primness and propriety and no fun at all...

"I want to leave," I said.

"What?" Abed asked, doing a double take.

"I feel like we should go. We can get this boxed up, right?" I flagged my arm out and motioned for the waiter.

"But Annie," he said, rising from his seat and reaching for my arm, "why are you so upset? Talk to me."

"Can we get two boxes?" I asked the waiter who'd sauntered over, his face positively ravenous with curiosity at this point. "We decided to leave early. And we need the check, too."

"Coming right up," he said, smirking knowingly.

"Annie, what—"

"We'll talk in the car," I told him.

"But why are you—"

"Abed, please." I set my hand on my forehead. "I'm all worked up and people are looking at us. I just need to get out of here. Can you do that for me?"

"Okay," he said, but he was still looking very much alarmed even as he stopped prying. The waiter appeared in a mad rush, handing over a couple of aluminum plates with paper lids. He left reluctantly when he realized he wasn't going to get anymore of a show out of the two of us, and Abed and I started to shovel our still warm food inside the boxes. I unthinkingly reached for my purse to pay the check but Abed stopped me. I draped my sweater back over my shoulders and watched him throw down a handful of bills and rise to his feet.

"Let's go," he said impatiently.

I got up. My ankles ached atop my skinny heels and I wasn't happy about there being another heated discussion awaiting us in my car. Not to mention at home, I realized. I supposed that this was the drawback of dating the person you lived with. There was no escaping the situation when the date turned sour.

We walked out of there in a thorny silence, which was only mildly tempered by Abed casting anxious glances my way. I felt guilty, of course. I knew he probably didn't understand even half of why I'd reacted the way that I did. But what he'd said to me, so offhand and incidental, had really cut to my core. Scared me even. And it plagued me even more to know that, what with his being Abed, anything he said about me had to be the truth.

_I guess that's why they call it brutally honest…_

We both got in the car and I set my keys down in my lap, looking at them longingly.

"I'm sorry," Abed said suddenly, breaking the silence.

I looked up in surprise. "What do you mean you're sorry? You don't even know what for yet."

"That's why I'm sorry. I warned you about this, Annie."

Abed's head was down and he seemed the very picture of despondence. "I'm not mad at you," I said softly.

"But you're mad because of me. I said something wrong. I knew it would happen eventually but I'd hoped it wouldn't be this soon…"

My chest tightened. "I'm not mad at all," I clarified. "I'm a little sad actually."

"That's even worse."

"No, it isn't." I bit my lip and looked out to the street ahead. "It's just that you kind of hurt my feelings in there…"

"How did I do that?"

"You called me normal."

Abed shifted in his seat, confused. "But you are normal."

"Yeah, but you said that you were dating me _because_ I'm normal."

"So?"

"Well, don't you see how insulting that is, Abed?" I asked helplessly. "I thought you liked me for me."

"I do like you for you."

"Why didn't you say that then?"

His brow furrowed. "I thought I just did."

I closed my eyes, drawing on all of my patience so that we could carry on. How could I explain it to him in a way that he might understand?

"Abed," I began slowly, "we go out, it's only our second date, and all of the sudden you bring up this woman who I never knew anything about and you start going on about how much you connect with her. How refreshing it was to meet her or whatever. And then you tell me that even though she's much more your 'wavelength' you'd rather date me because I'm 'normal'_._ And that I 'ground' you..."

Abed nodded, looking as though he expected me to continue.

_Aggh!_

"You made me feel _boring_, Abed!" I burst out, unable to hold back any longer. "You made me feel like the only reason you're dating me is because I'm serviceable to you in some way. Like I'm just dull enough to balance out your eccentricities. Do you know how much that gets to me? One the main reasons I like you is because you're _fun_! And I never had any fun before I joined the study group. I've spent my whole life being a stick in the mud. And I was so unpopular and I had no real friends and—"

Abed cut me off by moving between us and pulling me forward. He wrapped his arms around me and I stiffened. It felt awkward. Forced even. As though he figured this was what the situation called for when all I really wanted was a retraction. I tried to relax as he held me. I wanted to calm down. I knew he was trying to get me there but the hug wasn't communicating anything other than an apology. And I already understood that Abed was sorry. That wasn't enough somehow…

Abed let go all at once and fell back to his side of the car. He sighed loudly and I winced. He sounded as if he wanted an out just as much as I did.

"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings," he said after a minute.

"I know you didn't."

"I thought you knew how much I like you. I thought I told you. That first night…"

"You did," I admitted, the memory of those words still fresh and dear in my mind. "That's why I got confused."

"Well, you confused me, too," he said, and for the first time I detected a note of irritation in his tone. "Why didn't you say any of this back at the diner?"

"It's not that easy, Abed. I was really embarrassed in there. I felt like you were insulting me."

He cocked his head. "But you know I wouldn't do that."

"I know you weren't _trying_ to, but that's what made it worse in a way."

"How?"

"I don't know, but it was like you were talking _at_ me, not to me. And you didn't even understand why I was upset."

"Sure I did. You were jealous. I was trying to explain that you had no reason to be."

"But that's just it, Abed," I groaned, practically rocking forward from the strain of discourse. "I was the _only_ one upset. Other people, they fight and they say things sometimes but it's the heat of the moment, you know? So when you said what you said about me being normal you had to have meant it."

"I _did_ mean it. Just not the way you thought I did. I meant that I like you because you're good for me."

My lips parted. "Good for you?"

"Yeah. We have fun together. But it's a different kind of fun. It's more accessible. And comfortable. But comfortable doesn't necessarily mean boring. The way I see it, we meet each other halfway. And I like spending time with you, Annie. Tonight's dinner notwithstanding, you're usually pretty easy to be around."

I swallowed hard, the rawness in my throat beginning to subside. "So… so you weren't bored tonight?"

"No," he said curiously. "Did I seem bored? Because you know I forget to inflect."

"And that thing you said about… the stakes being high, that wasn't like some kind of test?"

He blinked. "Not for you. I was actually trying not to mess up."

A wave of remorse came over me and I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. "I'm sorry," I said in a tiny voice.

"Don't be," he said quickly, his relief audible. "It was just a misunderstanding."

"No, it wasn't. It was me acting like an idiot. And I ruined our date."

"Not really." Abed flicked his wrist. "According to my watch that was only a twenty minute bypass."

I let out a tired laugh and bent over my lap, wishing that I could just disappear. Even though the argument was over and the dust had settled, I still felt as if I was in the trenches somehow. I supposed I should've been happy. Abed and I had had our first fight, and we'd worked it out very easily. He didn't think I boring. He thought I was great. But I was so disappointed in myself for pulverizing the situation that I knew I was undeserving of such praise.

_I'm such a basketcase_, I thought. _I don't know how I'm ever gonna live this down…_

"Annie?"

"Hmm?" I answered vaguely.

"Are you still upset?"

"No," I snorted. "Just a teensy bit humiliated."

"Oh." Abed thought for a moment and then started up again. "Would it help if I told you that I never had any real friends either? At least, not before you guys."

"You know I think it would…" I turned to look at him. "I'll bet you still had fun though."

"Fun by myself," he pointed out.

I tried to smile. "More fun than I ever had."

Abed nodded, his expression still troubled on my behalf. "You want to go somewhere now?" he asked tentatively.

"Where would we go?"

"We could go have dinner somewhere else. We'll eat the leftovers later."

"But won't the food go bad just sitting in the car?"

"Who cares? It's on me."

And then he did something truly unexpected. He set his hand on my knee. I drew my breath in sharply, astonished that Abed would dare to touch me so soon after his previous failed attempt. But it was no more astonishing than the sudden realization that I wanted his hands on me again. And that wasn't the only thing I wanted.

I grabbed his arm. "Abed?"

"Yeah?" He seemed slightly taken aback.

"I want to be exclusive," I said seriously, looking straight into his eyes.

He took a second to process it. "You mean labels?"

"I mean just you and me. You can call me whatever you like but it has to be just you and me. I don't want anyone to come between us."

"Well, me neither," he said, bemused. "That's why I brought up Robyn in the first place…"

"That's another thing." My hand slid upwards and curled around his shoulder, luring him towards me. "I don't want to hear about her anymore."

"Okay." His eyes had left mine and were focused on my mouth.

"I _was_ jealous," I confessed, my lips brushing his. "I want you all to myself."

We kissed softly. I'd only meant it to be a simple thing. A promise really. But then the backs of his fingers grazed my cheek and I opened my mouth and suddenly we were kissing deeper. With more intent. His other hand gripped my thigh and it was like he'd turned on a switch. All of the tension from the evening seemed to evaporate into thin air, and instead I was flooded with a heady sense of… was it appeasement? Redemption? In any case, the release felt wonderful. A rush of blood had left my head and traveled south, making me positively giddy. My skin was tingling and I was giggling between kisses, crawling out of my seat to get closer. I spilled onto his lap and Abed's breath hitched as my lips skirted down his jaw and landed on his neck.

"We should stop," he said.

"Not yet," I whined, taking the shell of his ear between my teeth. "We're making up."

"No, we're making out. And we can't make out in a parked car."

"Why not?"

"Because considering what's happened tonight it's one cliché too many and also…" his hands stilled my hips, "because _I_ can't."

"You can't?" From the look on his face he seemed as though he really could.

"You want to wait, right?" he asked me, point blank.

"Right," I said slowly. "We're only kissing."

"Yeah, but I can't just kiss you."

The air was hot but my arms and legs were suddenly covered in goosebumps. Even though Abed's voice hadn't deviated from its matter-of-fact tone, I knew exactly what he meant. And it made me feel very brazen sitting there on top of him, my limbs scrambled into a sort of awkward half-straddle. His palms seemed to sear through the fabric of my dress and I closed my eyes, drawing a cool and collecting breath.

"We'll get something to eat," I decided, sliding off of him and out the passenger side door.

Abed followed. He took my hand into his and I looked up at him. "You pick this time, okay?"

"Cool. Cool cool cool."

And just like that, we were back on track.


	9. Double Duty

_Author's Note: Feeling conflicted this week. On the one hand _Community _is renewed, but on the other it's getting moved to Fridays which doesn't bode well for another season. But then we did get another clip show, which was pretty much a wet dream._ (_Oh, & in the wake of recent episodes I felt I ought to clarify that Abed's watch in Ch 8 is digital.) __So__ seeing as how the finale is next_ _week__ I'm gonna go out on a limb & say I hope Annie continues the grand old tradition of kissing a study grouper. Maybe Troy or Britta this time. _ _Anyways, this chapter is dedicated once again to Ksentos. Because if she hadn't guided me in the right direction, it wouldn't exist. So Muchisimas Gracias! Merci beaucoup! & Spasibo! (спасибо)_

_Also, to the anonymi: Katie Moon - I know you're not an anonymous reviewer but since I can't PM you (& have wanted to since you reviewed _Door Number Two_)_ _I hope you don't mind my professing my undying gratitude. / x - Ditto. I f-ing loved your exuberant review. / anon – Um, I think you're reading into things. / Mae – "Something always leads me back to you…" Oh, wait. Sorry. What I meant to say is thank you so much for the ballsy compliment. But I also wanted to mention that while I think it's cool you disagree, let's keep things from looking like—as Jeff would say—a youtube comment section. Oh, God, keep in mind I say that with so much love. …Please come back. / kf – Agreed. _Drive _was epic. It's all about that elevator scene. And poor Albert Brooks got snubbed at the Oscars. I can't imagine anyone playing more against type & doing it so, _so_ well._

**Chapter 9: Double Duty**

x

"A little to the left," Abed said, guiding me. "No wait, a little more to the right."

I stretched as best I could but my foot skirted on the seat and the chair wobbled. I felt Abed grip it steady underneath me.

"You know, Annie, maybe I should do it. I'm taller."

"No, it's okay. I've almost… got it," I muttered, my tongue between my teeth as I pushed the last pin into the wall. "There!" I said proudly, lowering myself down to survey my handiwork. "How does it look now? Is it still crooked?"

"It's good," he said, but he sounded less than enthusiastic.

"What's the matter?" I asked, shifting my gaze from the banner that read _Happy Birth/Expulsion Day, Pierce & Troy! _to Abed.

"You almost fell."

He was wearing the closest thing I'd ever seen to a pout on his punnum and I laughed. "Seriously? You were worried?"

"That would've been two times in one week. I don't know if you've noticed with Pierce but these things come in waves."

"I'm not a total klutz, Abed. It's not like I'm about to break my legs and my brain. Give me some credit. That ice was slippery."

He was referring to our trip to the ice skating rink the night before. We'd intended to go alone but then Troy had found out about it and asked to join in. It sucked. Not that I'd ordinarily mind his being there, but part of the reason why we'd opted to go out in the first place was to find time to plan the surprise party. And maybe it was Troy's presence that had distracted me and caused me to lose my balance on the ice. I'd banged both of my knees rather badly, but I tried to assure the boys that it was only because I bruise like a peach and honestly, I was no worse for the wear…

"I still don't think we have enough party favors," Abed said, looking up and around critically.

"Yeah, well, I told you, noise poppers are fine, but no sparklers indoors. I don't trust Troy or Pierce. Or Britta, for that matter."

"What do you think of the spread?" he asked.

"I think it looks vulgar," I said acridly.

It was a shame really. The table was laid out quite nicely for the most part. There hadn't been much selection at the market, so we'd opted to go with a Batman theme. The plates, cups and napkins were quite colorful and looked better suited for a child's birthday party rather than an adult's. But then Abed had been kind enough to bust out his Adam West figurines to lend the party a vintage feel, and I'd printed a few photographs of a leather-clad Eartha Kitt to accommodate Pierce. There was an array of chips and dips, and a fruit and vegetable tray for Britta. The only point of contention, however, was also the centerpiece—a giant cake featuring a half naked woman holding a football.

"Me, too," Abed agreed, cocking his head. "But it wasn't my fault the cake decorator arrived at that particular result."

"How is that even possible? I still don't know what you told him exactly…?"

"I just gave him a detailed list of everything Pierce and Troy are into. Two columns, like you suggested. There weren't many shared interests. This at least broaches a few of them," he gestured.

"I don't know, Abed. I think Shirley is going to lose it."

"Why? We're letting her bring everything else."

"Yeah, but after she sees that cake she's going to want to take off with the lot of it. It's bad enough the woman is topless, but she also looks a lot like Shirley, doesn't she?"

"Well, that may've been shared interest number three."

"What was that?"

"Foxy black women."

I sighed. "Next time bring me with you. Some things require a woman's touch."

"But this cake already has one."

"That's not what I meant."

"Maybe I should go get another cake…?"

"No," I said determinedly. "You stay here. The girls are gonna be here any second and I need you to help coordinate things."

"About that, I was thinking maybe we shouldn't jump out and say surprise. It's always a risk for men of Pierce's age and temperament."

"Well, let's not do it in the dark then. That's tacky. I say we just have Jeff guide 'em in. It'll be short and sweet."

"I wish we'd had more time," Abed said. "We could've used some olives for the bathroom."

"We're not to blame. Or if we are it's everybody's fault for forgetting Pierce's birthday two years in a row. Besides, olives are passé," I said, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. "And decorative soaps are _much_ fancier…"

There was a sharp rap on the door.

"Oh, yay!" I jumped. "They're here."

We opened the door and Shirley and Britta came bustling in with armfuls of grocery bags. "We're not very late, are we?" Shirley asked, out of breath.

"Maybe ten minutes, but we texted Jeff to stall," Abed said. "Did you remember to close the door behind you downstairs? We can't have any giveaways."

"Yeah we did, but why did you tell them to stall?" Britta asked. "They're only gonna fill up on ice cream."

"Not when they see the rest of the food," I assured her. "You know how they eat. Did you bring the alcohol?"

"Couldn't get the keg." Britta shook her head. "There wasn't enough time and my connections fell through. But I brought plenty of booze." She craned over and held her hand to the side of her mouth. "And a little somethin' extra if ya know what I'm say—" Britta paused mid-bad Brooklyn accent. "Rum," she said abruptly, her eyes darting to Shirley's. "And coke. _Coke_ coke. Not coke coke coke. I mean, I haven't… I've never… That's bourgeois is what I'm trying to say."

Abed nodded as though he understood. "It's passé."

I rolled my eyes and took Shirley's hand. "Come help me set up," I said, leading her into the kitchen.

She glanced back through the doorway, her expression suspicious. "Britta's acting strange…"

"Oh, Britta's always awkward," I said dismissively. "You wouldn't happen to have some frosting tools in there, would you?"

"No. But I did bring the cookies. And taco cups and crab cakes and stuffed mushrooms," she said proudly.

"Oh, how great!" I was pulling the containers out one by one. "Wow, everything smells amazing. And it looks nice, too. I guess we'll just put it out as is…"

"You're in a good mood tonight."

"Oh, I had a lot of fun throwing the party together with Abed. Even though it was very last minute, it kind of made it more exciting. Like we were up to the task."

"Was the tuxedo your idea?"

"Sort of. It was either that or his coming as Batman. But I prefer Abed. So we negotiated a time share," I explained. "I tried to pitch in though. I look 'classy', right?" I said, spinning slightly so that my skirt flared out.

"Very nice," Shirley agreed. "You're glowing."

"Am I?"

"Mmm-hmm," she said, giving me a knowing smile that seemed rather mysterious. I was about to ask her about it when Abed called out from across the room.

"Jeff's walking them up now," he said, stuffing his phone back into his pocket.

"Oh! So soon? Okay," I said hurriedly. "Let's all get under the banner. And nobody scream too loudly. Give Pierce the early bird special."

"Which do we say?" Shirley whispered once we were standing in a line. "Happy Birthday or Expulsion Day?"

"You and Britta: Birthday. Me and Annie: Expulsion," Abed murmured.

Everyone nodded and we could hear Pierce grousing as Troy's keys jingled in the door.

"Don't see why you had to correct them is all…"

"Pierce, you're not my father," Jeff said. "As far as I'm concerned, I don't have a father. I don't need a father. And I don't want to _be_ a father—finito."

"That's not what you told the waitress," Troy piped up. "What happened to 'single mothers are the backbone of America'?"

"You cater to the consumer, Troy. And whose side are you on anyways? You're starting to sound like Britta."

"Britta's pretty smart actually," Troy was saying as he opened the door. "Do you know the difference between a Meowist and a Marxist?"

"Happy Birth-Spulsion Day!" we all yelled together. But no one louder than the woman in question, who'd leapt a clear foot ahead of the rest of us and was waving her arms in the air like a giant squid. Growing self conscious, Britta dropped her arms and slackened her stance.

"I may have overdone it a little," she said.

We all shared a pained look and then I moved forward. "Surprise, guys! It's your birthday party."

"But my birthday's not 'til next week," Troy said, accepting Britta's hug first as we encircled them.

"Yeah, but Pierce's is at midnight. Two birds, one stone."

"I thought that's why we went to the ice cream parlor," Pierce said, who seemed as bewildered as Troy but happier than we'd seen him in weeks. "To celebrate."

"Oh, come on, Pierce. You honestly didn't think we'd forget to throw you a _real_ party, did you?" Jeff said heartily, as if the thought hadn't struck the group just yesterday afternoon.

"Come on," I urged them. "We have lots of food. And beer. And presents. And music!"

"Bare Naked Ladies," Abed added, pointing.

"What in the name of Jacob, Isaac and Abraham is _that_?" Shirley shrieked, catching sight of the cake.

"Wow." Jeff looked towards the table. "Frederick's of Hollywood or Spencer's Gifts?"

"We actually had it custom ordered," Abed informed them.

"Awesome," Troy breathed.

"Fantastic!" Pierce added, equally mesmerized.

"Annie!" Shirley whirled around and gave me a look of horror. "How could you?"

"It wasn't intentional! I just sent Abed off with a list and—"

"Abed?" she gasped.

"To be fair, I didn't know it was going to be pornographic," Abed told her. "Although I did mention Pierce's fondness for pornography…"

"Damn straight you did!" Pierce leaned over and ruffled Abed's hair proudly. "Now did you get Shirley to pose or did you give 'em a picture?"

"Huh?" "What!" Troy and Shirley said at the same time, leaning over the table. And then they each shot back several feet.

"Oh, God!" Troy said, spinning swiftly and grabbing his skull. "Oh, no, no, no, no, no! I cannot un-see that. I can_not_ un-see that!"

And then Shirley actually whacked Abed upside the head. "Abed Nadir, what the hell has gotten into you?"

"Hey!" I said fiercely, grabbing Abed's arm and pulling him into my side. "That wasn't his fault, Shirley. It's just a coincidence."

"My whole brain is crying!" Troy wailed, fists on face and hands on knees. "Shirley's head, Beyonce's booty… no more _Dreamgirls_!" He looked up in agony. "You ruined _Dreamgirls _for me, man!"

"Geez, would everyone just calm down for a second?" Britta interjected. "It's just a little frosting and…" she frowned, dipping her finger into the top of the cake, "chocolate pudding cups?"

"No more Dereon," Troy was sobbing. "No more _Watch The Throne_…"

"Okay!" Jeff shouted, clapping his hands over the commotion. "Obviously, this party has gotten off to a predictably inane start so I'm gonna say it and I'm only gonna say it once. Troy, that's not Shirley. And Pierce, stop leering, it's _not_. Shirley, it sounds like it was an accident so stop attacking innocent bystanders. And Abed—you okay, buddy? You need some ice?"

"I'm fine," Abed said, and I squeezed his hand.

"Annie," Jeff looked to me warily, "can't we do anything about this… this pudding cup situation?"

"I asked Shirley if she had any frosting tools," I shrugged. "I wanted to fashion a bra or something. Or at least turn the g-string into a bikini cut…"

"I say we just dig in," Britta suggested. "We're all here. We can each eat one of the more objectionable parts. And Pierce and Troy can blow out the candles."

"I can't do it," Troy said, coming to a stand and wiping his eyes. "I can't blow her candles out…"

"Aw, pumpkin," Shirley soothed, reaching out to graze Troy's shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" he squealed.

Abed walked away from me and into the kitchen a little stiffly. Seeing that Jeff and Britta were preoccupied with consoling Troy and Shirley, I followed. Abed opened a drawer and took out a large knife to cut the cake, but his face looked a little bleak as he did so.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"You were right," he said, setting the knife down on the counter. "Shirley's really mad at me. And I think I traumatized Troy."

"Hardly. It was Pierce doing most of the damage out there. And Troy's going to be fine. He reacted the same way last week when he thought he saw Jesus on a slice of pizza, remember?"

"So what do we do?"

"I say…" I opened up a cabinet and started gathering shot glasses, "that a little social lubrication is now in order. We turn on some music, slice that cake up so it's more PG, less NC, and we're good to go."

"And what do I do?"

"Apologize to Shirley," I said simply. "She'll forgive you. And this time tomorrow it'll just be another story about you being cute."

"Cute?" he repeated dubiously.

"Very cute," I insisted, wrapping my arms around him. Abed was quick to receive my kiss and I smiled against the press of his lips. Shirley was right. I was in a good mood. I had been for days on end and it seemed that very little could faze me.

_I wish we were alone_, I thought, playing with the lapels of his jacket. _I wish we were all alone, just him and me…_

"Sorry to interrupt," Britta hissed from behind us, "but now might be a good time to break out the beverages."

"My thoughts exactly." I turned around. "Can you do the honors, Britta? Beer first."

I took the handle of the knife in one hand and tugged Abed with the other. We went back into the living room where, I'm presuming under Jeff's orders, Troy and Pierce had each taken a seat at either side of the table. They looked to be mutually disgruntled and Shirley was hovering a good distance away, her arms folded crossly.

"Abed has something he'd like to say," I told everyone, setting the knife alongside the cake.

"Right," Abed said, scanning his audience. "Shirley, I'm sorry about the cake. I honestly didn't know what it was going to look like. Sometimes people are confused by my unnervingly candid nature and the fact that I speak very quickly. As Troy will attest, it can cause them to take my words a little too literally. And I hope you know that I would never deliberately use your likeness to appeal to Pierce's more prurient interests."

"Hey!" Pierce yelped.

"And Pierce, I'm sorry about your prurient interests. But Annie and I did get you a boxed set of Racquel Welch DVD's."

Pierce blinked, his frown loosening. "That's better."

"And Troy, that's not Shirley. No more than Jesus was on that pepperoni."

Troy trembled. "But… he spoke to me."

"Oh, Abed," Shirley interrupted all of a sudden. "I'm so sorry I hit you like that. I didn't mean to. Did it hurt?"

"I saw stars," Abed said flatly. "Just remind me to never make you mad again."

"Aw," she cooed, but then her eyes flashed warningly to everybody else. "You all best remember that, too."

"I've got the beer!" Britta chirped, handing bottles around. "Everybody take one and—oh, okay, not everyone," she said quickly, noticing Shirley's displeasure. "But everybody else. And Annie's gonna light the candles, right Annie?"

"Yup. Jeff, you can cut the cake."

"Lucky me," he said dully. "Which one do you want, Troy? Breast or thigh?"

Troy began to cry again and it was at least five more minutes before any of us were able to sing Happy Birthday.

x

Two and a half hours later the party was just beginning to wind down. Pierce was snoring on the couch, his big oversized body hanging half off its side. The music was still on and Troy and Britta were dancing loosely to _Sounds of the 80's_ in the corner. Jeff was in the bathroom and Shirley and I were in the kitchen, cleaning up.

"Where's Abed?" she asked.

"Oh, he slipped into the Dreamatorium ten minutes ago. I think he's fighting scum on the streets of Gotham right about now..."

"Don't you ever join him?"

"Sometimes. But it's better not to sneak up on him when he's in super hero mode. It takes a lot out of him and he gets extra finicky."

"Well, the party was fun, wasn't it?"

"Much better than last year," I agreed. "Although I think we may have to roll out some sleeping bags."

"I can take Britta home. She's on the way."

"Okay. Just not yet…" I said, noticing that she and Troy were now dancing a bit closer, and her head had fallen on his shoulder.

"Annie." Shirley poked me.

"Yeah?"

"Seems to me like you had a good time playing house tonight."

"What do you mean?" I asked, unsure of whether the comment warranted a frown or a smile. Was Shirley teasing me?

"Oh, you know, being the hostess. You're a natural."

I softened. "Thanks, Shirley. That's really nice of you to say."

"And Abed was happy, too."

"I'll bet he was. That present was as much for him as it was Troy," I said, souring. It was already bad enough every time Troy and Abed got hold of a new video game, but an entirely new console seemed infinitely worse. I knew it was silly to feel threatened by a piece of machinery but I couldn't help it. And leave it to Jeff Winger to once again outdo everybody else in the gift-giving department. Now with a Playstation _and_ an Xbox on the premises, I feared that I'd have to work twice as hard to get Abed's attention…

"No, not the present," Shirley told me, breaking through my thoughts. "I meant his being around you. He was very relaxed."

I started. "You think so?"

"Annie," she said bluntly, "the boy is smitten."

I smiled and went back to cleaning my plate, running the sponge around its rings slowly. Shirley's words had worked magic, and I was already feeling much better about the stupid Xbox.

"So how many dates is that already?" she asked me.

"I guess four, if you count yesterday. The museum was definitely the best. I'm thinking of taking him to an exhibit he'd be interested in. Something cinema. Or maybe tech? I don't know. I'll need to do some research…"

"Guys, I'm headed out," Jeff announced.

Shirley and I both looked over our shoulders. My cheeks grew hot as I wondered how much of my Abed gushing Jeff had overheard.

"You're leaving already?" Shirley said.

"Yeah, 'fraid so," he answered, bending down and giving her a hug. "I already said goodnight to Troy and Britta. But I need to know if Pierce is spending the night because if so I can come get him in the morning…?"

"You don't have to do that. One of us will drive him," I said, putting the plate on the dish rack and untying my apron. "Hang on a second, let me walk you down."

"It's okay," he said quickly, and he was hot on his heels to leave.

"No, I insist," I said, rushing to his side and smiling sunnily up at him. I'd been working extra hard for days now to get Jeff to be a little less distant towards me. I wanted him to know that I was still sorry about the whole Britta incident. I realized he wasn't trying to punish me, but then again he hadn't been especially warm towards me as of late. At least, not the way he used to be…

"Some night, huh?" Jeff commented as we made our way down the stairs.

"I thought it was fun."

"Sure it was."

"Oh, good. So you enjoyed yourself."

Jeff's brow furrowed. "Did I not look like I was enjoying myself?"

"Not especially, no."

He stopped at the bottom of the stairwell and examined me curiously. "Are you trying to say something here, Annie?"

"No." I leaned against the railing and stared back. My head was still a little light from that second rum and coke. "Maybe I'm just feeling a little melancholy."

"But you're smiling," he pointed out.

"Well, it was a fun night," I said, teetering from side to side before looking to my feet. I felt a little embarrassed now… having insisted on walking him down here. I don't know how I imagined our little farewell going, but I didn't think the conversation would be quite so stilted.

_It's always going to be weird now_, I thought. _And it's all my fault_…

"It was a nice party, Annie," Jeff told me.

"I know," I said, lifting my face.

Even though I was two steps above him, Jeff had no trouble dropping a kiss on the top of my head. I blinked a little as I watched him walk away, brushing my hand up past my hairline and taking off my headband. I scratched at my scalp but the itch was there. Pestering me.

By the time I was back in the apartment the girls had taken cue from Jeff and were putting on their coats, readying to leave. I knocked outside the Dreamatorium and heard a gravelly voice respond.

"Is that you, Rachel?"

"Yes. Do you mind if I speak to Abed, Bruce—I mean, Batman?"

"That can be arranged."

I heard some shuffling and then Abed opened the door, his cape still hanging behind him although he was no longer wearing his mask. "Is the party over?"

"Just about. Jeff already left."

"Oh. Did he forget to say goodbye?

My lips parted in surprise. "Um, I think he just didn't want to bother you when you were in there."

Abed shrugged. "Okay."

"Come on," I said. "Come say bye to Britta and Shirley."

Later that evening, when it finally was just him and me, Abed kissed me goodnight before retiring to the blanket fort. It didn't leave an itch, but it did make me think about him all night. And Shirley's observations. How sweet and promising they were…


	10. Fits and Starts

_Author's Note: __I realize no key studio execs are reading this but screw you, Sony Pictures & NBC! You are the WORST__! _

_On a brighter note, Donald Glover is going to guest star on _HBO's Girls _next season._ _If I get to see a sex scene (horrifically awkward or not) it may begin to make up for the Dan Harmon-shaped-hole in my heart…_

_Ugh. Lack of segueway. Sometimes in the course of writing, I find myself filling in gaps or inventing backstory for the characters to make certain scenes work. I did it in _Door Number Two, _(e.g. Jeff's dad left his mom for a younger woman, blah, blah)_._ I'm sure we'll invariably find out more about these guys on the new (soulless) season of _Community_ & it may contradict my wild imaginings. Mea culpa. But what can you do? I'm taking out a disclaimer now. It's just fanfic._

_Anonymi: churrocon – Hmm, I think Annie cares about everyone. Jeff is her friend. And in my story, there's the question of more. As for the timeline, you didn't give me a chance, babe. There are plenty of inferences to be made this chapter & the following. But just so you know, Abed & Annie got together in early November, by now it's already early December. / Katie Moon – So pleased you enjoyed it! I was worried about making Troy too silly. But in my mind the immaculate Donald Glover could deliver any line provided he turned on the waterworks. / Mae – I'll consider you my bodyguard then. / anon – I take it you mean the f-bomb? Well, I felt she was sufficiently provoked but to each their own. / Ori – I know, my darling, I know. Maybe I'm taking the news harder than most b/c I'm so into _Community_ I write fanfic, but all I know is something happens to a show when the creative voice leaves it. There's a vacuum. Characters act out of turn, dialogue grows awkward, severe tonal mood swings, etc. I, for one, would rather the series have ended firmly with Dan than limp along lamely without him (a la _West Wing_ or _Buffy_). But that's just me. I went to the beach this afternoon for a ray of sunshine. But I still feel oh-so-blue._

**Chapter 10: Fits and Starts**

x

It seemed like the perfect day to get around to it. Troy and Abed had been at the mall Christmas shopping all afternoon and had returned home thoroughly tuckered out, which was very promising. It meant that Troy was too tired to do anything but lie in bed and read comic books. And as for Abed, I waited until after he'd eaten a full bowl of buttered noodles to introduce the topic. I knew from experience that a well fed and sleepy person was easier to convince than a hungry or alert one. Plus, the fact that he was currently stationed in front of the TV with a game controller in his hand meant that he was just distracted enough to approach.

I sat down alongside him on the opposite armchair and glanced at the television screen, feigning interest.

"So… how are you liking the new Xbox?"

"It's hard to put into words."

"Is that good?"

"Very good. I know it's technically Troy's, but I think it might be my fifteenth favorite possession of all time."

I smiled. "Should I even ask what one through fourteen are?"

"The full rundown would probably bore you. But my Star Wars lunchbox in third grade and my Hitachi camcorder in sixth are amongst the highlights."

"Huh," I said, finding his bout of nostalgia rather endearing. "Well, that's sweet. So listen, I, uh… I wanted to tell you that I got a card in the mail the other day."

"A card?" he said absently.

"Yeah. It was an invitation. My aunt and uncle are having a little get together at their house. A New Years thing. All of my cousins are going. And my family doesn't do stuff like this too often…" I trailed off.

"Uh-huh."

"And I was thinking maybe you'd like to come. With me, that is."

Abed put down the controller and turned in his chair to look at me. "To the get together?"

"Yes." I was happy that he didn't look annoyed or imposed upon. "You know, as my boyfriend. So that my mom can meet you."

He shook his head. "I don't think that's a good idea, Annie."

All of my nervous anticipation began to disperse and dispense. "Why not?"

"Because I don't want to meet your mother."

I took a moment to swallow my pride.

_Don't take offense, Annie, _I prepared myself. _It's not like it sounds. Just take a deep breath and keep digging…_

"Well, why wouldn't you want to meet her?"

"You're joking, right?"

I recoiled a little, surprised by his tone. It wasn't like Abed to strive for sarcasm and actually hit it right on the mark.

"I'm not joking," I said slowly, beginning to get defensive. "I actually want to know why."

"Annie, parents hate me."

Of all the objections I'd imagined him voicing, this definitely wasn't one of them. My mouth opened and closed as I looked to him for clarification. But he simply sat there, awaiting my response.

Finally I just said what I felt. "Abed, I don't think that's true."

"It's very true," he said, resolution at the ready. "They always have. There's a reason why I didn't have any friends growing up. I was the strange kid, Annie. Parents didn't want their children hanging out with me. Most of them considered me a liability."

"A what?"

"A liability. One dad told mine I was a loose cannon. It's ironic, I know, because as far as individuals go, I'm usually pretty predictable. Creature of habit and all that. But that only becomes clear once you get to know me. And I'm prone to making people uneasy, remember? Especially when it comes to first impressions."

I frowned, searching for the right words to address the great big curveball he'd thrown at me. "Well, that was then, Abed. This is now. You're not a kid anymore. And it's not like going to a job interview or even a sleepover. There's no pressure. I just want to introduce you."

"Why?"

I gaped at him. "Because you're in my life."

"Well, don't you know that?"

"Sure, but—"

"And isn't that enough?"

I leaned a little closer, trying to make heads out of his tails. "What are you doing?"

"Doing?" he repeated blankly.

"Yeah. This. Here. You're acting very strange."

"Thought that was my point."

"No," I said. "I mean you're being weird with me. What is this, Abed? Why don't you want to go?"

"Is this why you fixed me lunch?" he asked all of a sudden. "Were you trying to make me more amenable to the idea?"

"No…" I hesitated. It was a little unnerving that he'd seen through me. "I made you lunch because I figured that you were probably tired from all that shopping. I wasn't trying to… butter you up or whatever," I added, squirming when I realized the bad pun.

"You're lying."

I shot up from my seat. "Oh, I'm _lying_, am I?"

"I think so."

"Well, why don't I tell you what I think," I said, feeling the first stirrings of anger beneath my breast. "I think you're changing the subject. I think that you don't want to talk about this so you're trying to manipulate me into feeling guilty so that I won't make you."

"That's funny."

"What's so funny about it?"

"The manipulation part." Abed paused to note my confusion and then went on to expand. "See, I think you knew there was a good chance I wouldn't want to go. That's why you brought it up in a relaxed setting and that's also why you're trying to use my own observations against me. So that you can make me feel guilty enough that I'll agree to it. It's also why you waited a few days to ask me, am I right?"

The urge to curse at him was so strong it made my voice catch in my throat, rendering me completely speechless. It wasn't that what Abed was saying wasn't true… it was true. But the _way_ he was saying it was so severe. It made me sound selfish and sinister. Like I was some sort of conniving monster. When all I'd really wanted was to get him to accompany me to a party.

"So that's your answer then?" I asked, setting my hands on my waist. "You won't go?"

He didn't so much as blink. "I don't want to."

"Fine." I tried to keep my tone as noncommittal as his as I walked away. "I don't care."

I went to my room and contemplated my next move. I considered closing the door behind me, but that would only give away how much he'd upset me. I was so furious I felt like punching a pillow. I felt like screaming. I felt like taking off from the apartment and going to go see my mother so that I could complain about the boyfriend she had no idea about and I so desperately wanted her to meet.

_I should leave_, I decided. _Maybe I'll go to the mall myself. Get some air..._

No sooner had I grabbed my purse and thrown on a jacket than Abed appeared at the doorway. "Where are you going?"

"Out."

I tried to brush past him but he was blocking my exit. "You shouldn't go."

"Why not?"

_Here comes the apology…_

"Because you'll wind up buying something you don't need and then tomorrow you'll have to return it."

"Stop telling me who I am, Abed!" I up and shouted. "You don't know me. You don't know what I'm going to do or where I was planning on going!"

"Don't yell at him, Annie! He doesn't understand," Troy called from over the wall.

_Goddamnit!_

On top of everything else, I'd completely forgotten about our lack of privacy. The fact that Troy felt he had license to interject was infuriating. And the only thing more upsetting was the likelihood that he'd just overheard all of the things Abed had called me out on.

"He understands perfectly," I barked back. "Don't go making excuses for him. You stay out of this!"

"But it's not like he's trying to—"

"Troy, it's okay," Abed spoke up. It was odd how he managed to raise his voice without altering it.

"Well, if you guys are gonna fight, can you at least shut the door?"

_Oh my God! I have got to get out of here…_

"No need. I'm leaving!" I announced, lurching forward.

"Don't go." Abed took my hand.

I snatched it back. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't."

"Because I don't want you to and I'm sorry."

I stopped where I stood, unable to look away. "That was two," I said wearily.

"I know," he answered. "But one doesn't really work without the other."

I closed my eyes and breathed through my nose, counting to ten as I did my best to picture Mark Ruffalo. By the time I'd opened them I was calmer, albeit no less resentful towards Abed for having wound me up in the first place.

I moved between us and closed the door. "Well then?"

"Well what?"

"Why don't you want to go? Is it too soon to meet the parents? Or did you just want to spend New Years with Troy?"

"Annie, I already told you why," he said, brow furrowed. "Your mom is not gonna like me."

"You don't know that!"

"I know she wants you to find a nice Jewish doctor. I know she thinks Britta's your roommate. I'm Muslim, I'm weird, and I'm living with you," he said, listing the reasons on his fingers. "She'll hate me."

"God, Abed, you're making me regret ever telling you anything about her in the first place! She's different now. She's come a long way since I moved out. And it's only this past year that she's even been making an effort. We've made amends, you know? We even went to NA together a couple of times last summer. And I think you're selling yourself seriously short here. Everybody likes you!"

"Yeah, as the group oddball or the au courant observer. Not as the romantic lead."

My jaw dropped. "You can't be serious."

He shrugged. "It's the truth."

I rubbed both sides of my forehead, unhappy to find that my temples were already pounding beneath my fingers. This was something completely new to me. To us. Abed wasn't just being ridiculous, he was being irrational. And I didn't know how to relate to him when he launched into his TV talk this way. I had to spin it around somehow. I had to make it clear to him that he was the one whose opinion mattered to me, not my mother…

And so I regrouped.

"What are you so afraid is going to happen?" I started off. "If you're worried about her hating you well then, here's the good news—she's hated _everybody_ I've ever dated. Not just because they weren't good enough for me but also because I wasn't good enough for them! The woman's incorrigible. You shouldn't worry about pleasing her."

Abed tilted his head ever so slightly to the right. "So… what makes me the exception? If anything what you're saying means the deck is stacked against me."

"No, it's not. I'm not in high school anymore, Abed. And I'm not living under her roof so who I choose to date and spend my time with is none of her business."

"Then why do you want me to meet her?"

"Because _you're_ my business!" I said desperately, frustrated that I'd somehow managed to paint myself into a corner. "You're important to me. And considering how long it's been and how far Mom and I have come I think she'll see that. And even if she doesn't it wouldn't matter because… because…" I broke off, at a loss for words.

"She is important to you, too," Abed said, staring at me meaningfully. "You know she is. And her liking me is, as you said, your business. So when she doesn't we'll probably have to break up."

I took a step back, completely stunned. "We'll have to what now?"

"Break up. She won't like me and then you'll break up with me."

"Abed, that's…" I threw my hands up and to the sides, "that's _insane_!"

"No, it's not. It's well within the margins of probability. Believe me, I've run the scenarios."

I held my breath, unsure of whether to feel affronted or sorry for him. "Abed, why would you even want to date me if you think I'm the sort of person who would dump you over something so shallow?"

"I never thought you were going to dump me," he said. "I'm just aware that it's a possibility, that's all."

"No, that's _not_ all. You can't just say something like that to me! It's offensive."

"How is it offensive?"

"Because I _like_ you!" I said vehemently, bringing my foot to the ground. "I really like you. And I'm not going to break up with you just because my mother is a pill. I mean, your parents don't know we're dating yet. Actually as far as I know _your_ parents don't even know that I exist! But I haven't been obsessing about that. And I never even imagined for a second that you'd dump me if it turned out your mom or dad didn't like me."

"Well, I wouldn't," he said quickly.

"Then why do you think I would? We're together, Abed. I'm proud of you. And I wouldn't even have asked you to come to this thing if I didn't think you were good enough to escort me."

Abed's eyes narrowed pensively. "What if… what if I were to go as somebody else?"

"What?" The suggestion seemed completely out of left field.

"I could study up. How about Sidney Poitier, _Guess Who's Coming To Dinner?_"

"Are you kidding me?" I asked, utterly disbelieving. "Absolutely not! I'm not dating Sidney Potter—"

"Poitier."

"Whatever! I'm dating _you_, Abed. And I want to introduce you to my mother. Not somebody else."

Abed's mouth quirked and it seemed that he was beginning to grow tired. "Annie, I really don't want to go."

We stood there for maybe a full minute, lingering at either side of an impasse. I saw that his determination rivaled mine, and I realized then that no matter how hard I pleaded, I wasn't going to be able to persuade him.

"I know you don't," I sighed at long last. "But I wish you did. And honestly it really sucks for me to find out that you feel this way. You know, I got that invitation on Monday. I actually have been waiting all week to ask you. I was very excited about it…"

Abed visibly sagged and ducked his head. "I know. I know you want to go, Annie. I'm sorry I can't."

"But you can," I argued. "That's what bothers me, Abed. You can and you _won't_. I'm spending Christmas with you, why can't you spend New Years with me?"

"I can spend it with you," he said, looking up eagerly as though I'd just offered him a life line. "We can do anything, go anywhere—just not that."

"But why not that?" I asked, drawing closer. "Why do you have so little faith in me? I thought things were going great…?"

"They are," he said plainly. "And I want to keep it that way."

"Then why do you—"

"Annie," he interrupted, reaching out and holding my face. "I don't want to lose you."

I froze at his words. His touch. The combination throwing me well off my loop. And then the tone with which he'd just spoken… Not just petulant, but actually _fearful_. And suddenly it didn't matter that he was being stubborn. It didn't even matter that he was being childish. Because he was being himself. Not some professorial robot who dominated the conversation with easy rejoinders and back-ended logic, but just… Abed. The person I always knew was in there.

A quiet little thrill coursed through me as I looked in his eyes just then, and it was as if all of the pieces came together in one glorious click. Slowly and reverently, I laid my hand over his and slid it from my cheek and onto my mouth, kissing his fingertips. Abed seemed somewhat baffled by my sudden change in temperament, and all the more so when I moved to hug him.

"Um, Annie?" His hands were loose on my back, almost as though he was afraid to reciprocate.

"Yes?"

"What did I say?"

I laughed and squeezed him a little tighter. "The right thing."

"Oh." He still sounded uncertain.

"Sit with me," I said, pulling him down onto the edge of my bed. And he did, scanning my face while wearing that calculating expression of his.

"Does this mean you don't want to go anymore?" he asked after a few seconds.

"Of course, I want to go," I said gently. "But you don't have to. At least not yet. But we're going to keep dating so I'll want you to meet my parents eventually. And I'd want to meet yours…"

"Dad's gonna be a hard sell," he said immediately.

I tried not to get disheartened. "Because I'm Jewish or because I'm American?"

He winced. "Both."

"Well, my Dad's still pretty prejudiced, too… why don't we start with each others' moms? Not today or even next month. But someday. Can you give me that?"

Abed's shoulders relaxed and he nodded dutifully. "Mom would love you," he muttered. And then he smiled, seeming a little far off.

"What are you thinking about?"

"You seem really confident."

"About what?"

He looked at me tentatively. "Someday."

The blood began to pump extra fast in my veins and I pulled his face to mine, kissing him hard until we were both good and breathless. Unlike the first time I'd made such a move on my bed, Abed melted out of his surprise quite quickly, and even made a pleasant noise low in his throat. His thumb swept across my cheek, and the gentle brush of it was very distracting just as his other hand snuck over my breast.

"Mmph," I moaned, removing his hand. "Not yet."

"Why not?" he asked, and he tried to kiss me again.

"Troy's here." I turned my face so that his lips landed on the side of my mouth.

Abed got up. "I'll ask him to leave."

"You will not!" I giggled, yanking his wrist. "That's even worse."

"Why?"

"Abed, he'll _know_ what we're doing. And it's rude to displace him. And also…" I got up, too, swinging my arm playfully along with his, "you didn't even ask me if I was ready."

Abed grew still, looking down at me worriedly. "Oh."

I offered him a coy smile. "Yes, oh."

"I didn't think," he said, frowning as though something was amiss. "I must've forgotten…"

"It's okay," I assured him, trying to keep thing light. "Maybe that's the best part of taking it slow."

"What is?"

"The waiting. It's kinda hot, right?"

Abed actually groaned. "That's one word for it."

I felt that little thrill go through me again. It wasn't that I wanted to seek pleasure from his frustration, but I simply loved that he was beginning to get impatient.

"For the record though, this means we're serious, right? We just had the parent talk…?" Abed's eyes were darting left and right as I watched him work out the logistics.

"We're serious," I said at once, not wanting him to waste time cross-referencing old film stock and pop culture. "We're very serious."

"Cool," he murmured. And then he glanced at the door, seemingly undecided as to what he was supposed to do now.

"You can go," I told him. "You're off the hook, I promise."

"Okay." He kissed me chastely before turning to leave.

"But Abed?" I blurted.

He paused.

"I don't want to lose you either."


	11. Behind The Curtain

_Author's Note: Got a long weekend planned so I'm updating beforehand. Anyways, I know I say it often but it bears repeating: Thanks SO MUCH to subscribers & reviewers. You guys really motivate me to keep writing. Muaahh! _

_So the awesome Jackimee (hi, babe!) PM'd me w/ the suggestion that I spread word of a petition floating around Reddit. Since I can't post links here, simply google: "Prevent the Darkest Timeline: Bring Back Dan Harmon as Showrunner for Community." Even if you don't have high hopes (& I already went through the five stages of grief last week), it's still a show of solidarity & probably good karma. _

_This chapter is dedicated to reviewer Trewyn, who requested a scene of this sort ages ago. Oh, & Katie Moon, I feel the same way. Churning out fanfic has made it infinitely harder for me to watch the show w/o my shipper goggles on. And heRieAnn, thanks for your humorous review. Things are about to speed up, I swear, but let me get this chapter out of the way first…_

**Chapter 11: Behind the Curtain**

x

We hadn't much time. Having fled the engine room, I was moving fast down a cylindrical-shaped hallway. The surroundings were foreign and my mind was racing my steps, contemplating where else we might go… what few options we had left…

"Geneva, look out!"

I scrambled sideways and just missed the laser, its neon green burst slicing the air before it flickered and vanished.

"Why didn't you deactivate their defense stream?" I asked from the opposite side of the spacecraft.

"Well, I would have done, but it seems my efforts were thwarted by the Cybernoids' force field."

"Inspector, it's too late for us!" I cried out. "They know we're here. We have to abandon ship."

"But our ancillary pod has been stripped. It's botched, I tell you!"

"Well, it's either that or we stay on board and die. This is not our ship! We have to leave, Inspector. We have to…" My words trailed off as I caught Abed's eye.

"Pause simulation?" he asked.

I nodded.

He swept me up in my nightgown as we stopped to kiss. It was becoming a bad habit. I honestly did want to finish reenacting an episode one day, but it was proving to be exceedingly difficult. I wasn't sure what was going on. I knew Abed didn't always look this good in a bathrobe and a bowler hat. Maybe it was the British accent…

"Hey, guys, it's time to—" Troy opened the door. "Seriously!" He dropped his arm, looking at us in disbelief. "Again?"

I let go of Abed and looked down at my feet.

"Don't get mad at Annie," Abed said, stepping in front of me. "It was my fault this time."

"You guys are sullying the whole spirit of the Dreamatorium!" Troy wailed, his voice getting extra high. "You said you'd cut it out. Do I have to remind you that this is a _sacred_ space? A place for childhood exuberance and… and grown-up badassery! It is not some skanky linen closet for you two to get your freak on!"

"That's not even what a linen closet is for!" I snapped.

"Well, it's not what the Dreamatorium is for either. And you know that, Abed. Boundaries, man!"

"It could be argued it was in assistance of the simulation," Abed said thoughtfully.

"Oh, really? You're gonna try and swing that?"

"Troy, Annie was playing Geneva. You know she and the Inspector kissed that one time in season six, episode nine."

"That was to distract the Sultan and his guards! It was only because they'd landed in the Ottoman Empire and—" Troy stopped cold. "Oh, no. Oh, no, you don't. Annie, out!" He pointed.

"Annie, out," I mimicked in a feeble voice. "That's you!"

I glared at Troy and took off my cardboard crown, exiting the room with my head held high.

_He's such a spoilsport,_ I thought grumpily, undoing the buttons to my nightgown and shrugging it off my normal clothes. _What gives him the right to kick me out of there? It's as much my apartment as it is his…_

I could hear Troy and Abed arguing from inside the Dreamatorium while I waited in the living room. Only sometime during the course of their discussion they must've switched to Constable Reggie and Inspector Spacetime because Troy suddenly yelled "Codswallop!"

There was a knock on the door and I went to answer it. "Hi," I said to Britta. "Wow, you're here early. For you."

"I know. But I was really excited about our semi-double-but-not-really-date," Britta said, biting her lip anxiously. "How do I look? It took me forever to figure out which jacket to wear."

I gave her a brief overview. "You look nice. You look… like you always look."

"Is that good or bad?" she pressed me. "I didn't wanna seem like I was trying too hard. How about the boots? Are they high enough?" She stuck out a leg.

"Um, I think so."

"Isn't Troy ready yet? I just texted him that I was coming up." She handed me the brick.

"Yeah, he is. But it'll probably be a few more minutes. He's yelling at Abed in the Dreamatorium right now."

"For play or for realsies?"

"Realsies," I groaned.

"Well, that's no fun. What's going on?"

"Oh, who knows?" I said bitterly. "He's been such a wet blanket the past few days. I mean it was fine in the beginning but lately I feel like he's always here, you know? And Abed and I never get the chance to be alone…"

"Hmm, now that sounds familiar."

"What do you mean?"

"It's just that the other day Troy was saying the exact same thing about you."

"Ah!" I gasped, looking at the door to the Dreamatorium. "He did not!"

"Yeah, he did."

"How dare he? I'm gonna go give him a piece of my mind…"

"Annie, don't!" Britta said, grabbing my elbow. "That was private. And he didn't mean it like that. He was only blowing off steam."

"Then why are you telling me?"

"Because… that's what female friends do," Britta said uncertainly. "They do do that, right? I'm not getting it wrong again?"

"No, it's true," I conceded. "That is what we do." And then it struck me. "So what else did Troy say about me?"

Britta snorted. "As if I'm gonna fall for that."

"Brittahhhh," I whined, "you brought it up!"

"And now I'm bringing it down," she said hurriedly. "It's off the table… it's on the floor…" She kicked. "And now it's under the rug."

I pursed my lips and bent over, plucking the issue back up between my fingertips. Who did Britta think she was fooling? I may have not finished a scenario yet but I was still more seasoned than I used to be.

Britta stared at me and I stared back, unwilling to break eye contact. Finally, she folded her arms and sighed. "Okay. Come to think of it he did say something about… about how he feels like Abed's been really distracted lately."

"Distracted? Distracted by what?"

"Duh-doy, by you. And he also said that he thought it'd be much better if you and Abed just…" Britta motioned suggestively, "got it over with already."

I went from mildly annoyed to positively outraged in five seconds flat. "What!" I exclaimed. "Where does he get off saying that? That is seriously _none_ of his business!"

"He does live with you guys…"

"So? He's not the arbiter of our relationship! And if I want to wait until Christmas so it'll be nice and special and something to remember then I have every right to do so. It's my decision. And Abed hasn't complained," I finished huffily.

Britta was about to reply but then the door behind her creaked open and both boys came trudging out, Abed no longer in his bathrobe and Troy still looking rather surly. He perked up immediately, however, the instant he saw Britta's face.

"Hey, Britta," Troy said, at once bashful with a side of boyish.

"Hi, Troy."

_Don't do it, Britta,_ I thought while watching her._ Don't do it, don't do it, don't—_

And out came the leg. Britta hiked her thumb towards the door. "So are we ready to go?"

Abed's countenance was suddenly one of serious foreboding and I took his arm, distracting him with a winning smile as we followed Troy and Britta out of the apartment.

x

"This place is supposed to have really good salads, too," Troy was telling Britta. I had the service buzzer at hand's reach and was sitting next to Abed while the four of us dawdled in the waiting area.

"This is really awkward," he told me in a low voice.

"Abed!" I smacked his thigh.

"Well, it is. I warned you this wouldn't go well. They haven't talked about anything but eggplant for the past five minutes."

"Oh, that's not true."

Unfortunately Troy chose that exact moment to ask, "So is it animal or vegetable?"

Abed gave me a pointed stare.

"Abed, they like each other, okay? It's always a little awkward in the beginning; just let them give it a chance. He asked her out all on his own," I said, omitting the fact that I was the one who'd mentioned that this particular restaurant was known for their vegetarian menu.

"…so it has nothing to do with chickens?"

"Besides," I murmured, leaning sideways and resting my head on his shoulder, "if Troy and Britta do hit it off we might actually start getting the apartment all to ourselves once in awhile. Render some imaginated dreamscapes…?"

I laced my fingers with his but Abed's frown persisted. "Is that innuendo?" he asked.

"What?" I couldn't help but laugh.

He had the decency to look sheepish. "I can never tell with girls."

"It wasn't. But while we're on the subject, just think of all the other things we could do if Troy wasn't around so much..."

"Like what?"

"Well… setting aside the obvious linen closet, we could watch more _Cougar Town_, for one thing. You know Troy doesn't appreciate it the way that I do. And it would be fun to go cardigan shopping again."

"Yeah, that was a good day," Abed said, sounding almost wistful.

I was pondering what else I might say to bring him around when a tall figure emerged behind the hostess' desk.

"Jeff!" I squeaked, my back straightening as I pulled myself upright. "Wha-what are you doing here?"

Jeff finished sliding on his sports coat and looked at the four of us, surprised. "Eating. It's a restaurant. What are you doing here?"

"Waiting to do the same," Britta said.

Jeff's brows knit together as he took note of how and where we were positioned. Abed and I were nestled on the left side of the bench while Troy and Britta were sitting mirror-style on the right. It didn't help that Troy was making a thinly-veiled attempt to appear casual. He had his arms and legs sprawled out quite conspicuously and his eyes had gone all wide and shifty.

"You guys look nice," Jeff commented, focusing on Britta. "Isn't that your favorite jacket?"

"What? No!" she scoffed unconvincingly. "This old thing?"

Jeff turned his head, his expression still cordial even though his smile had worn thin. "Annie. Abed." He nodded at each of us in greeting.

"Hey, Jeff," Abed said amiably. "This isn't what it looks like. Tonight is just a test run. However, if it goes well, Troy and Britta may proceed to be more than friends. At first I wasn't so keen on the idea, but Annie here has convinced me it'll leave more time for her and me, which I have to admit sounds promising."

I almost died of embarrassment, my entire face going up in flames. I could feel Troy and Britta growing uncomfortable, too, and had it been anyone but Abed making such a gigantic gaffe I would've pinched them extra hard. But what was the use now? The damage was already done. And even Jeff seemed visibly flustered as he swayed where he stood, looking back over his shoulder.

"My date's in the ladies' room," he said. "She'll be out any minute."

_Oh, Jeff, don't do that_. _Now we'll actually expect someone to come out here and—_

"Sorry, sorry," an airy voice trilled. "There's no service in there. Wow, this place is rank, isn't it? Why don't we go to a club?"

If I hadn't already been feeling like the second coming of Jim Belushi, Jeff's date would've sealed the deal. She was gorgeous. Lithe, blond, and with the sort of figure that might have easily graced the cover of _Maxim._ Every man in the waiting area immediately turned to gawk at her as she plastered herself to Jeff's side.

"Oh, sorry," Jeff said, understandably more composed with a pair of breasts on his arm. "Guys, this is Sierra. We met at the gym. Sierra, this is Annie, Abed, Troy and Britta. They're friends from school."

"Sierra," Britta repeated, sticking out her hand politely. "Were your parents conservationists, too?"

"God, no!" she said, dropping Britta's hand mid-shake to bring her polished fingernails up to her laughing mouth. "It's a stage name actually. My agency told me I should change it."

"So you're an actress," I said with forced enthusiasm.

"On occasion. Mostly I model. You know you have a pretty face." Her tone was sickly-sweet as she appraised me. "And you're young, too, aren't you?"

"Oh," I said. And then I stammered, flattered. "Well, I'm not sure if—"

"But you're small," she interrupted, as though rethinking it. "And it's hard enough to make it in the business without having the legs for it."

I was too busy sorting through my own shock to take note of anybody else's reactions. Was this woman for real? And I'd only begun to feel the sting when Abed prickled alongside me.

"Actually the national average is roughly five-three," he said, his fingers tightening between mine. "And the average actress in Hollywood isn't that much taller. There's a reason for it, too. Ask any director who strives for realism. It's probably why you're having an easier time with the modeling than the acting," he finished coolly, keeping his sights steady as he gazed at Sierra with a decided air of being underwhelmed.

She blinked, her long legs twitching awkwardly in her tall heels as she looked at Abed as though she had no idea what to make of him.

"Abed here's a future filmmaker," Jeff explained, trying to fill the stretch of silence. "Our school paper called him the next Scorsese."

"The next Polanski," Abed corrected. "I think on account of my Polish heritage. But I found the comparison to be as conceptually challenging as it was creepy so they withdrew it after my letter to the editor."

"You see," Jeff gestured. "Knows everything there is to know."

"Is that right?" Sierra said flatly.

The buzzer vibrated next to my purse and I started. "Our table's ready," I said, having no trouble bidding Jeff and his date a cheery goodbye as I rose from the bench. "Come on, guys…"

"Ah-bed!" Britta whooped, her fist in the air once we were seated. "Look at you getting all feisty again. Abed Nadir, defender of the average-sized woman, taking those bitches down two years in a row!"

"Don't get any ideas, Britta," he said, flipping open his menu. "That wasn't a relapse. I was merely making an exception because the context demanded it."

"Yeah, it did," I said happily, scooting my chair closer to his. "You know I almost forgot how vicious you can be, Abed."

"I wasn't aiming for vicious. If I was going for Mach levels I might've mentioned the stretch marks."

"There were stretch marks?" Britta was practically drooling.

"At least two by my count. She should definitely revise her hemline."

"Yeah, I-I saw them, too," Troy said loudly. "There were gross!"

I couldn't tell if Britta appreciated Troy's chiming in. My focus was under the table as I drew Abed's hand off his own lap and led it to mine. He looked at me, puzzled. But then I placed the curve of his palm on the inside of my thigh and his face went blank, as though realizing he shouldn't give anything away. He did swallow though, and I could read him well enough by now to know that he was plenty affected.

"So what else was wrong with her?" I teased, giving him a sly grin.

"Acne scars," he said quickly. "She's like a walking advertisement for Photoshop."

"Well, that sounds lucrative," Britta snorted. "Before-and-after headshots. Wonder if any of those will land on her runway…"

"Not unless they invest in some floodlights," Abed said.

Britta squealed with delight. "Hang on, I need to write this down."

And I couldn't resist any longer. I stole a kiss.

"Here?" Troy yelped.

"I'm sorry," I said, tittering. "I'm really sorry, Troy. Last one tonight, I promise."

"We're in public!"

"Troy, chill," Britta said. "Annie can't help it if Abed's being sexy."

"What's so sexy about talking smack?" Troy asked, growing increasingly peevish. "I can talk smack."

"It's not just smack, Troy. Smack is what you dish out in the locker room. But _that_… now there's an art to that. You've gotta bone up, you know? Half of it's trivia and the other half's observation."

"I can do that," he said defensively. "I trivialize and observe things all the time."

"I know you do." Britta patted his hand. "And I know you didn't think that Barbie-shaped troll doll was attractive either, did you?"

"No, I actually prefer short women. I mean, not that you're short. You're just, you know, not so tall, which is hotter. To me at least," he ended clumsily, but the sentiment behind the words must've translated because I saw Britta bloom in her seat.

"Annie, do you want any appetizers?" Abed asked me, and I nearly choked on thin air when I felt his fingers slide underneath my skirt. Whether by accident or a deliberate ploy, I didn't know. But my body's reaction told me I'd bitten off more than I could chew.

"What? Oh, no, I'm fine. You guys order what you want," I said, feeling the need for a breather. "I'm just gonna run to the bathroom real quick…"

"I'll go with you," Britta said. And the moment she got up Troy stood, too. She lingered for a second, a little taken aback. Something told me Britta wasn't accustomed to men rising when she left the table.

When we were a good distance away I pulled her close, hardly containing my laughter.

"Britta, he's trying _so_ hard."

"I know! He asked about my cats. And not the way men usually ask about my cats. He asked for them by name," she said dreamily.

"So you're having a good time?"

"So far, so good. That thing with Abed really kicked things off, didn't it? But maybe we should order some real drinks. I don't want Troy to be nervous. It's kind of making me nervous. Oh, God. Is my hair wilting? I can feel it wilting…"

"Not at all," I assured her, pushing open to the door to the restroom. "And he's only nervous because he really likes you."

"You think?"

"Definitely. He's not like that with anybody else."

Britta disappeared into the nearest stall while I craned over the counter, checking my makeup in the mirror. I heard my purse chirp and reached in to pull out my phone. The screen showed I had a text from Jeff. Frowning, I clicked on the envelope and saw:

"Sorry about that. First date. I promise to sleep with her and not call her back."

I froze, not knowing what to think or how to feel about the message. Why was Jeff telling me this? Did he genuinely feel guilty about how his date had insulted me? He wasn't obligated to feel so bad. Not with Abed rushing to my defense right away. And something about the message felt, well… I couldn't put my finger on it, but it _seemed_ a little too intimate. I didn't need to know that Jeff was going to be sleeping with that woman tonight. And I rather resented the fact that he felt compelled to share it with me.

"Ugh!" Britta spat as she burst out of her stall. I dropped my phone back into my bag.

"What is it?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. It's just I cannot _believe _that's who Jeff's dating now. Did you see the way she looked at us?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"And that toe ring, too," Britta shuddered, shaking her hands inside the sink and flicking water droplets everywhere. "Actually—I take it back, I can believe he's dating her. But seriously, how foul is she? Kind of makes you wonder what you ever saw in him in the first place, right?"

"Yeah," I breathed, but it took me a few seconds to answer.

"Annie?"

I looked up and saw that Britta was studying me, her features crossed with curiosity and concern.

"What?"

"Anything you'd like to tell me?"

I gripped my purse a little tighter. "No. Why do you ask?"

Britta's eyes lowered and she finished drying her hands. "No reason," she ho-hummed. "Let's get back to dinner."


	12. A Little Less Conversation

_Author's Note: This chapter is dedicated to astopperindeath & The Alternative Source, two great reviewers who (incidentally) also happen to write great fanfic & who made me feel better on a day I was rather tired due to domestic squabbling. _

_About the bunkbeds… I know that Troy & Abed's sleeping situation is flipped on the show but I wrote this ages ago & I don't want to bother to change it now. I'd have to go back & edit chapter 4, too, & screw that. I'm too busy_ _trying__ to finish this monster fanfic that's slowly morphing into _Moby Dick_. Oh, Cait, what have you gotten yourself into? _ _Thanks to all the reviewers who are encouraging me to keep it up. And Katie Moon-so kind, thank you. Britta is a tricky creature to write because I essentially have to balance out three versions of her, seasons 1/2/3. But I love every version._

_(P.S. Trewyn the Community expert, "Ginevra" is now "Geneva", per your correction. I think that was just me thinking in Italian… probably b/c I'm vacationing there this summer. Err, Italy, not Switzerland.)_

**Chapter 12: A Little Less Conversation**

x

A beam of sunlight hit the bed and whacked me right across the eyes, making my first moments of arousal pretty painful. I hiked the covers high over my head. How had I forgotten to draw the blinds last night? And if it was morning already why did I feel so drowsy?

I checked the clock and saw that it was 6:22, roughly forty minutes before I was due to wake. But it was futile trying to catch any more snooze at this point. Thanks to the sun I was already up, so I figured I might as well get a head start.

The apartment was dead quiet as I padded out and over to the bathroom in bare feet. I'd just finished brushing my teeth and washing my face when the door creaked open.

"Oh!" I gasped, and then calmed down immediately when I saw it was only Abed. "Sorry," I giggled, clutching at my chest. "You startled me."

"You're up early." Abed's hair was sticking up in some funny places and he looked adorably rumpled.

"I know," I yawned. "I'm so tired though. I wish I didn't have class. If it wasn't for that I'd go back to bed. Why are you awake?"

"Troy gets night terrors sometimes," Abed said. "He kicks and it makes the whole bunk shake. It's hard to fall back asleep after that."

"Wow, that's a bummer." I grabbed my hand towel and wiped my face dry. "All yours," I said, moving to leave. He caught my hand and I stopped by the door. "What?"

"Is that my shirt?"

I looked down at myself and blushed crimson when I realized that it was, in fact, his. "Um, yeah."

"I was looking for that. I thought it got lost in the laundry."

"Oh, right. I saw it hanging out of the laundry basket and just, uh, borrowed it."

He frowned. "But did you wash it?"

I hesitated, shamefaced. "Not yet."

"Why not?"

"It… smells like you."

A funny look came over Abed's face and he let go of my fingers. I scurried back to my bedroom, feeling very strange about what had just happened. Was Abed mad at me? If it hadn't been so early and if he hadn't surprised me with the question, I might've come up with a better excuse for why I was sleeping in his t-shirt. Instead I'd just mumbled out the truth, and the truth was, there was no getting around it, kind of creepy. Maybe Abed thought it was a little Glenn Close of me to be stealing his clothes, I wasn't sure.

_I should give it back_, I thought.

After all, I knew that it was one of Abed's favorite shirts, which I'll admit is what had driven me to take the thing in the first place. I pulled it over my head and folded it into four quarters, as if it were to be on display in a department store. I threw on an old tank top in its stead and traipsed back to the bathroom, knocking timidly.

Abed opened the door and I held out the shirt, my mouth ready and open to apologize. But then he pulled me inside. The door closed behind us and he grabbed me in a flurry, pushing me up against the tiled wall. I gasped as his mouth took mine, kissing me with a forcefulness I hadn't imagined he was capable of. The shirt fell to the floor like a flag of surrender and I hastened to wrap my arms around Abed's neck. His hands, which had been at my sides boxing me in, cupped my bottom and boosted me high and within seconds I was pinned flat by his pelvis. There wasn't even an inch between us, and I felt incredibly dizzy as his tongue continued to delve into my mouth, leaving no spot unstroked and stealing all of the little moans that were threatening to let loose. I squirmed and locked my ankles around Abed's waist, struggling to keep steady. My fingers were threading through his hair when his lips slid off mine with a soft smack. We paused to look at each other desperately. Abed was breathing as hard as I was and his expression was as amazed as I felt.

"Sorry," he muttered, and then he set me down as swiftly as he'd scooped me up.

My legs were weak as they found their footing, and I couldn't think of anything to appropriate to say as he grasped both corners of the sink and leaned in, taking a long breath.

"Abed?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you want your shirt?" I asked stupidly, picking it up off the floor.

He raised his eyes and I knew he could see me in the mirror's reflection.

"Keep it," he said simply. And then he left without another word.

I stood there for maybe a minute, completely shell shocked. After the spell wore off shock gave way to vexation and I wanted nothing more than to run after Abed and demand that he finish what he started.

_And why don't I?_

I made my way to the blanket fort and hovered, my ears perked for any sound of invitation. But all I heard was a soft snore. Was that Troy? My fingers reached for the curtain partition and I stopped myself. What was I thinking? I couldn't just climb into Abed's bed with Troy right beneath us! And what if Abed had, in fact, decided to go back to sleep? He clearly hadn't opted to hang around the bathroom with me.

By the time I was in my room again I had to hurl myself onto the sheets in a fit of frustration. I even kicked a little, trying to assuage myself with a silent tantrum. What was Abed doing to me? He couldn't just tease me like that and then take off! It wasn't even unfair, it was cruel and unusual. I bunched his shirt in my fist and brought it to my face, inhaling deeply. It was no use. I'd slept in it twice and it already smelled more like my body lotion than it did his skin. And nothing would ever be as good as the real thing anyways. The way he'd smelled just now… all warm and clean and full of sleep. The scent was still on me, but it wasn't enough. Nothing would ever be enough, I knew.

_We have really got to put a moratorium on the whole waiting thing_, I thought. _Or at least a moratorium on him kissing me when I don't have my wits about me yet._

It was ironic. Christmas was less than ten days away, and yet I wasn't sure I was going to make it. And maybe it didn't matter so much now, all things considered.

_How many days has it been_? I wondered, pulling off my pajama pants as I did the math. _Well over a month now. And we've said we're serious. Serious and exclusive. It's time. I can't stand it anymore…_

I opened my dresser drawer, intent on trying to finish myself off with a little mechanical help when I noticed that my cell phone was alight and flickering. I was about to nudge it aside when I saw that I had a missed call from Jeff. It had come in just after midnight and, what was more intriguing, there was a voicemail to go with it.

_Don't listen to it,_ I told myself.

I knew it was a bad idea. After that text he'd sent me last week, I was well aware that any contact from Jeff via cell phone would only stir confusion and fuss. But I was so curious. What could Jeff possibly be calling me about so late on a weekday night? Was he all right? Did something happen to him? Maybe it was a misdial. Maybe I'd check and it would be five minutes of muffled conversation between him and some stranger. Maybe it was something small having to do with school that he'd neglected to mention the day before.

_I'm sure it's nothing._

But what if it was?

I couldn't help myself. I punched "1" and within moments was greeted with a cacophony of pulsing beats and background noise.

_Geez, where is he calling from, a rave?_

But then all the music and commotion seemed to die down. Jeff must've been moving towards seclusion, and once he'd reached it he began to speak. Loudly and with a lot of slurred syllables.

"Heyyy, Annie. Look, I know it's late but I was kinda hoping to catch you if you were up. I feel like we oughtta talk, you know? We haven't been talking. And it's weird, right? It's weird for me, I dunno if it's so... so weird for you…?"

He waited a second. Maybe to imagine my answer, or maybe just to formulate his next sentence.

"And I just feel like it's hard 'cuz you're… I mean you're there all the time. Not that I want you to go away," he laughed awkwardly. "Nooottt trying to say anything here. But maybe that's what makes it harder, huh? The not saying it? So that's why I think we shoulda talk soon. Just you-n-me, m'kay?"

And then Jeff sighed, as though realizing he wasn't speaking to anybody but himself.

"Anyways, I'ma letcha go. Sorry I bothered you. See you tomorrow."

The call ended and the prerecorded voice announced that I had no other messages.

_Ho-ly crap._

My fingers were hovering right over my mouth and I was moments away from biting my nails, a habit I'd quit some years ago. But then I thought better of it and moved fast, yanking my pajamas back on. Jeff had literally caught me with my pants down, and if I was going to think something like this through I needed to be clothed.

_I have to tell Abed_, I thought. _I can't not say anything now! Turns out I wasn't being paranoid at all. Jeff is calling me at odd hours of the night and leaving me drunken messages with rampant BCI. And now he wants to talk to me alone? What is he planning to say? If it's been festering in him for a while then it can't be good... Whatever it is, I don't want to hear it. And I don't want Abed to hear it either. But if I don't tell him now and something else slips out later he may never forgive me. I'll have betrayed his trust. _

_And that's it, right? _I concluded._ This is too important to ignore!_

…

_But—_

_Well, what if he gets upset with me for not having mentioned anything beforehand? I mean, things are so good right now. We're so happy together. And if I tell Abed about Jeff after waiting this long it might make it out to be more than it is. Like I wanted this to happen. As if I was secretly hoping Jeff would admit that he has feelings for me. And what if Abed figures out that I'm not entirely sure whether I have feelings for Jeff either? He's so observative when it comes to things like that. And what if he breaks up with me?_

The thought was like a blow to the knees. I sat down, a flush of panic making me sweat.

No.

Definitely not.

That could not happen. I would not _let_ such a thing happen. I would simply die if Abed broke up with me! It would ruin everything. Not only our romantic relationship and our living situation but our friendship… and our other friendships, too! A breach this big might domino and take down the entire group. Was it really worth it to be honest in this scenario? Was there even enough worth mentioning? It wasn't as if Jeff leaving me a needy voicemail was anything major in the grand scheme of things. And it didn't have to _mean_ anything necessarily. After all, he hadn't confessed his undying love for me or whatever. He'd just sounded a little worried. And lonely. But loneliness didn't equal attachment.

_He's fine_, I thought. _Chances are he won't even remember the message later today. And even if he does, he may never bring it up again. What's the use over-thinking it? There's no need to spin this into a crisis. I already did that once with Britta over something completely immaterial and I am not about to do it again with Abed._

Decision made, I deleted the voicemail. And when that didn't alleviate my anxiety I got up and left the room. I tiptoed into the blanket fort and was relieved to see that Abed was awake, half propped and scribbling furiously into a notebook with a tiny light clipped to its top.

"Hey," I greeted him, my head peeking between the curtains.

He shifted and put down the book.

"Can I come up?"

"Troy's asleep," he reminded me, his face inscrutable.

"I know," I said, already setting one foot on the side ladder. "But I can be really quiet."

Abed scooted over and I settled in next to him, throwing my arm over his waist and laying my head on his torso. "I haven't been on the top of one of these since summer camp," I whispered.

"Summer camp?"

"Jewish summer camp. My parents used to send me away for a few weeks in the summer. It was near Lake Michigan."

"Did you like it?"

"Not really. There were a lot of cheesy pride activities. We always had to watch the cable-edited version of _Schindler's List_ on Family Day. And it was super hot."

"Oh." Abed seemed a little tense but I snuggled closer to him just the same. "I always wanted to go to space camp."

"You can still go. They have it for adults, too."

"They do?"

"Mmm-hmm, you could go with Troy. Or I could come with you if you wanted," I murmured lazily, my eyelids fluttering. It was so easy to forget about Jeff, to forget about everything really, when I was this close to Abed. Even better now that I was in his bed and surrounded by the smell of him. I felt so serene. I tucked my face into his chest and breathed him in.

"Thought you were getting ready for school," Abed said, his whisper strangely thick.

"I have time, remember? I woke up early." My fingers danced down his stomach, aiming to explore.

Abed flinched and rolled on top of me. "You can't do that."

"Why not?" I asked, my eyes wide as I laid my hand on his cheek. "You made the first move."

"I said I was sorry."

I laughed beneath my breath. "You weren't sorry."

He looked at me, his gaze difficult to discern in the shadows. "This feels weird," he said in a stilted voice, and I assumed he meant Troy.

"We can go to my room," I suggested.

"It's not that…"

"What is it then?" I kissed the corner of his mouth and Abed's eyes closed. "I wasn't trying to start something," I promised, my lips still caressing the side of his face. "I just wanted to cuddle. But if you want more…" I hooked my leg over his, "I think I'm ready now."

"Annie, I don't… I don't know if I am."

"Very funny." I grabbed the back of his head and kissed him deep. He still tasted of toothpaste but there was a hint of aftershave lingering on his upper lip that was so delicious I sucked it right into my mouth. Abed made an agitated sound and pushed me away.

"I mean it," he said.

I reached for his reading light, turning it back on. I was astounded to see that he was serious. I gaped at him, completely bewildered. If Abed didn't want me then why had he kissed me so passionately no more than ten minutes ago? Why was he holding his breath every time I touched him? That wasn't aversion that was emanating from him—it was attraction. It had to be attraction, right?

"Tell me," I hissed fervently. "What's wrong?"

He shook his head. "I don't know."

"Is it me? Did I say something? Do something?"

A horrible thought crossed my mind. Was there any chance Jeff had called Abed and left him a voicemail, too? I knew it was a long shot but Jeff clearly hadn't been in his right mind. Who knows what he might've said to him?

"It's not you," Abed fumbled, looking more confused than conflicted. "Well, it is and it isn't…"

"Abed, don't do that. Don't equivocate. You always tell it like it is. Just be straight with me." I was trying very hard to keep my volume not above a harsh murmur, but my mounting fears were making my vocal chords quake. "Was it the shirt? Because I don't need it, I can give it back."

"It's not the shirt."

"Did something… else happen?"

"No, nothing happened. But it's hard to explain."

I pulled at his arm. "Try me."

"Okay." Abed grimaced and began to speak. "You make me feel," he broke off mid-sentence, his eyes flashing in a way that I'd never seen before, "…too _much_."

I grew still, my limbs having gone heavy from the expression on his face. "What does that mean?"

He sighed. "It's sort of like I'm in a Christopher Nolan film. It's like I'm feeling something… something _really_ strong, but the weird thing is I don't have to imagine it. I don't have to pretend. And because I don't have to pretend, I don't know what to do… or even what I'm going to do at any given moment."

My heart began beating very fast. "How long have you felt this way?"

"It's been coming on slowly." Abed sat up and reached for his notebook, leafing through it until he found a dog-eared page. He held it out and showed it to me. There were a series of arrows, flicking up and to the right, along with a bunch of numbers lined up neatly beneath them.

"I don't get it," I said.

"It's codified." He pointed to the up arrow. "That represents escalation. The regular one represents continuity. The number marks how many times per day."

"Escalation of what?"

He shrugged. "I don't know yet. But it's getting worse. Especially now."

I examined the page again and saw that indeed it was.

Abed eased onto his back and stretched his arm out over his head, looking to the ceiling as if in askance. I laid on my hip and propped my chin up on my elbow, watching him with a growing hunger beneath my breast.

"Did you feel _it_ the night that we slept together?" I asked delicately.

"No."

I bit my tongue. "Are you sure?"

"I'm not sure of anything. I felt a lot of things that night. But if I did feel _it_ it must've been small and I don't think I recognized it."

"Do you recognize it now?"

"Somewhat, but it's complicated because I have nothing to relate it to yet. I'm still trying to understand it; that's why I'm charting the phenomena. For research purposes."

I was just about to ask another question when bed shook violently. I squealed and latched onto Abed for dear life.

"Night terrors," he said.

But it was too late. Troy must've woken up because he was moaning loudly and it sounded as if he was in a lot of pain.

"God, Troy, are you okay?" I asked, concerned.

"No-o. I stubbed my toe. Wait—Annie?"

I leaned over the bed and peered down at him. "Yeah."

"What are you doing up there?"

"Just… saying good morning."

"Huh." Troy wiped the sleep from his eyes and stared at my face, a little suspicious. "You're not naked, are you?"

"Troy! What the hell is the matter with you? Of course, I'm not naked!"

"Oh. Thought I was still dreaming…"

_Ugh._

I scrabbled off the bed and began to climb down its side. "I think I'm actually gonna take a shower, you guys, if that's all right with you. I have class earlier and it's cold."

"Okay," came Troy's lagging grunt. It sounded as though he was already halfway back to sleep.

Abed didn't say anything, but I gave him a parting glance before I slipped out of the fort. He seemed a little addled by my leaving, and I wondered if he wanted to talk some more. I smiled reassuringly and he nodded, flipping his notebook back open. I was really tempted to crawl back up there and read what he was writing, but I didn't need a jumble of arrows and numbers to know that Abed was falling in love with me. If he needed time to draw his own conclusions, that was fine. I would give it to him. And I would try my hardest not to do a happy dance, but nothing was going to take away the glow in my heart.

Absolutely nothing.


	13. A Perfect Storm

_Author's Note: First things first… Greytune, I will love you forever for explaining to me what "otp" means. Annndddd since I've PM'd everyone else—Katie Moon, YES, your reactions are so on point & fun to read! / pleasantparker, since I can't PM you (as w/ Katie) I wanted to say I'm happy you came out of hiding for me & y'know, I personally only read A/A but I'm sure there's quality fic for every pairing. Err, save Pierce/Abed. / To my anonymous reviewer, no need to thank me, the "sexy" was fun to write. _

_To ALL OF YOU, I'm so flattered by the overwhelming response to Chapter 12. I know I'm constantly fawning over reviewers but you guys are the ones giving me the momentum to write. It really is a labor of love for someone who works fulltime & who is a tad ADD. I also have sort of a love/hate relationship w/ computers & the internet. Hence, I've had to push myself to set aside an hour a night roughly four to six days out of the week since I started this sequel. I really enjoy the process of writing & how it stimulates my brain, but I like the finished product more. Makes me feel accomplished. There's nothing worse than an unfinished story (esp. long ones in which you get emotionally invested) & I want readers to know I wouldn't drag you anywhere & then leave you hanging indefinitely. _

_That being said, here we go…_

**Chapter 13: A Perfect Storm**

x

"Somebody's in a good mood," Britta said, giving me a sharp nudge on the shoulder as she plopped down beside me.

I was sitting on the couch in the study room. I'd gotten there several minutes earlier than everyone else to sort through my notes and refresh on what topics needed to be covered for the day. But every time I glanced at so much as a bullet point I'd remember Abed's arrows, and then I'd start smiling like an idiot all over again.

"Does it show?" I asked worriedly.

"Definitely. You're even Annier than usual today. Did you make the Dean's List or what?"

I blanched. "I always make the Dean's List. And listen, Britta, do me a favor, okay? If at any point I start grinning, giggling, anything especially girly—just kick me under the table. I don't want anybody else to notice."

"But what's to notice?"

I shuffled my papers into a neat stack and got up. "I don't want to say."

"Oh, come on, Annie." Britta rose and followed me to the table. "Tit for tat. If you don't tell me then I won't even know what I'm supposed to be discreet about."

"All the better."

Britta's lips pursed. "Oh, hey, guys, doesn't Annie look positively _radiant_ today?" she said loudly.

My eyes widened and I looked around frantically, only to see that there was nobody even entering the room.

"I mean, I don't know what it is… Is it the clothes? The hair? Hey, did you try out a new shampoo?"

"Would you keep your voice down?" I snapped. "That's such a dirty trick. You and Jeff are two of a kind!"

"Oh, now I don't know about that…"

"Well, it's true. And I don't appreciate being held under duress, Britta."

"So you admit that you're under duress?"

"I admit that you're the worst!"

"Yikes, you're really touchy today. It must be important then. What is it?"

I hesitated. "Oh, I really shouldn't tell you. I don't want to jinx it…"

"You won't jinx it." I opened my mouth for another suggestion but Britta obstructed me with a wag of her finger. "And don't try to mime it out either. I'm not in the mood for charades. Besides, I'm not Shirley, Annie. You know I won't gossip."

She had a point. And maybe it would be to my advantage to tell Britta. It would definitely cancel out some of the bad vibes I'd set into motion last week and last month with my inane behavior regarding Jeff. I also had to keep in mind that I'd be seeing him very soon, and would have to work extra hard to ignore the fact that he'd left that voicemail. Chances were I'd be fending off an entirely new set of awkward rejoinders on both our parts. A little more Abed talk might serve to distract Britta and myself from any potential discomfort.

Besides… I was so excited! I'd been dying to tell someone all day. And it was good news, wasn't it?

"I think I'm in love," I said aloud. And it felt so good to finally be able to voice the thought that I knew it wasn't a thought at all. It was a reality.

Britta was speechless for a moment, her jaw slightly ajar. "Does Abed know?"

"No," I said seriously. "And let's keep it that way."

She took her seat and stared at me, growing pensive. "Well, why wouldn't you want to tell him? It's not like it's a bad thing. Everybody likes hearing they're loved, right?"

"You don't."

"Okay, that was one time. And how could he really have loved me if he wouldn't give up farming ferrets?"

I rolled my eyes, sorry I'd even brought up Britta's taste in men. "I'm just scared is all. It's very new."

"But it's only Abed. What's there to be afraid of?"

I considered bringing up the notebook and Abed's emotional reticence but I knew that it was far too personal. So instead I euphemized.

"Because it might be too much for him," I said slowly. "And because it's only been a few weeks and he's still figuring things out. And I've never said it to anybody without them saying it to me first. But I do think that, well… I know there's no way to know for certain but I _feel_ like he loves me, too…"

"Of course he loves you," Britta said automatically.

I blinked, surprised. "He does?"

"Sure he does."

"How do you know?"

_Did he show Britta the notebook before me?_

"Annie, haven't you noticed how different he's been lately? Not that Abed was ever in a bad mood or, let's face it, in _a_ mood period but this past month he's been bordering on perky. At least by Abed's standards. Believe me, we've all noticed."

"You have?"

"Oh, yeah. There's been a definite boost in eye contact. The good kind—not the kind that lasts too long. Also, he's a little looser, you know? Warmer even. Last week he told a joke. Granted, it was line-for-line and Bill Murray's but it still surprised us. Oh, and the other day he patted Pierce's arm. It really freaked him out actually," she said, frowning. "He went home early. I don't know if he thinks Abed's been transplanted or what. Honestly, Annie, you haven't seen any of this?"

"Well," I sat back, chewing it out, "I know that he really likes me. He told me so. And he's different around me, especially when it's just the two of us. And Shirley said he seemed more relaxed but I guess I just didn't realize he was acting so differently around everybody else. But I know that _I'm_ happy…"

"Yeah, we can see that, too. But in love, wow," Britta said, her eyes darting. "I just hadn't realized you'd decided yet."

"What do you mean 'decided'?" I asked, more uncomfortable with her tone than her choice of words. "You can't just decide if you're in love, Britta. It either happens or it doesn't."

"I guess so."

Feeling irritated, I about to question her further when Troy and Abed came running into the room. They were soaking wet and out of breath.

"Oh my God, you guys, what happened?" I gasped, rising from my chair.

"Leonard," Troy wheezed, his hands on his knees.

"And the Hipsters," Abed finished, looking over his shoulder. "We violated their sacred space."

"Violated?" Britta repeated. "What are you talking about?"

"Abed and I made a time machine—"

"It's just a prototype," Abed interjected.

"And according to Abed's calculations, we had to put it in the auxiliary closet. That was the only place that it would work—"

"If lightning were to strike the school tower," Abed went on. "But turns out that's the Hipsters' territory. They didn't take kindly to us conducting our experiments in there. We always made sure not to go in until after 6 p.m. but somebody must've given us up."

"Was it Garrett?" Troy asked, squinting.

"Too easy. Might've been Pavel."

"Wait, wait, wait," Britta said, her arms outstretched. "Hold up! So what happened? Did they take a hose to you or something?"

"No, they threw water balloons," Troy explained. "But they're too old to do their own dirty work. They've outsourced to Chess Club."

"They're still upset about Paintball 2010," Abed said gravely. "And now they've joined forces. Two worlds colliding. It's like the Cylons have teamed up with the Peacekeepers."

"Whoa," Troy breathed, obviously impressed. "This is really wrinkling my brain…"

"You guys!" I interrupted loudly. "What are you going to do? You're dripping all over the floor. You have to go home before you catch pneumonia."

"Oh, there's no need," Abed said. "Troy and I both keep a change of clothes in here in the event of something like this."

"In _here_?"

"Yeah." Troy moved behind me and opened one of the cabinets, extracting two neatly folded bundles of clothing.

"Wait…" I saw a slip of purple in the corner of the cabinet. "Are those women's clothes? Who are those for?"

"Well, we couldn't leave you out," Abed said. "You're my girlfriend now. And the enemy always targets those closest to us. You could've been collateral damage. It's smart."

"Very smart," Troy seconded. "Hey, Britta, you want to get in on this? We could keep something here for you, too?"

He sounded a little hopeful but Britta relented. "Err… that's okay."

"Suit yourself." He shrugged.

"Or not," Abed added.

"Anyways, we're gonna go get changed."

They left together, their shoes making soft squishy sounds as they stepped upon the carpet. Britta smirked, looking at me inquisitively and I felt a little defensive.

"What?" I huffed. "At least he was thinking of me."

"More than thinking of you. He called you 'closest' to him."

"He did, didn't he?" I reached inside the cabinet and pulled out the outfit the boys had assembled for me. "Hey, I remember this shirt. Thought I'd misplaced it after the move. That's funny…"

"What's funny?"

"Well, earlier today Abed caught me sleeping in his t-shirt. I was really embarrassed but I guess he's been rifling through my laundry, too."

Someone cleared their throat and Britta and I turned to see Jeff standing a few feet from us. "Am I going cross-eyed or are you holding a bra right now?"

I looked and saw that I was. It was sandwiched between the shirt and jeans. "Ah!" I dropped it like a hot potato.

"What did I miss?" he asked Britta.

"Well, Troy and Abed got water bombed... Oh, and now we know that Abed has gone through Annie's underwear drawer."

"He has not!" I protested, positively mortified. "This is technically a bikini top."

"So what part of your closet did he dig that out of?"

"No part! It was in a box marked for Goodwill because it's Christmas. And don't look so smug, Britta. If it had actually made it there you would've bought it."

I used my pencil to pick the bikini up through its strap, examining it warily.

_When we get home Abed and I are going to have a serious talk_, I thought.

"Hmm." I looked up and saw that Jeff's eyes were on the bikini bra. It made me flush and I put it, along with the other items, back in their place. "So what, you just keep clothes here now?"

"Well, why not?" I crossed one leg over the other, still intent on defending Abed and his strange choices regardless of how I was being antagonized. "We practically live here anyways."

I could feel that Jeff was studying me, but I refused to meet his gaze. I was afraid that I'd see some sort of question on his face. And it wasn't in either of our interests to answer questions that ought to go unspoken…

"Pierce, get your hands off of my bag Right. Now.!" wailed a booming voice from the start of the room.

"Pierce, hands off!" Jeff was quick to shout, but Shirley and Pierce continued to struggle near the doorway. It was a testament to Shirley's youth and vigor that she was managing to keep ahold of the purse even though Pierce was fighting mad.

"Pierce!" Britta ran over to them and shoved at his side. "What do you think you're doing? Let go of her!"

"It's happening again!" he gnashed, looking quite rapid.

"What's happening again?" I asked, frightened by the ferocity in his face.

"Shirley and Chang! I saw them together this—" he yanked, "morning!"

"How dare you?" Shirley shrieked. "That was the roofies! That would never even have happened if I hadn't drugged been out of my mind."

"He probably drugged you again. You don't know. Let me See. The. Test.—"

"What test?"

"The one you bought In. The. Submarine.!"

"What the hell?" Jeff grunted. He had both arms around Pierce now and had managed to haul him back a good foot from a shaking Shirley.

"Piece!" I said abruptly, beginning to have an inkling of what was going on. "Have you slipped up? Did you overdose on prescription painkillers again?"

Pierce faltered for but a second, but it was enough for everyone to realize that that was, in fact, what had happened.

"Shirley, go!" Jeff yelled. "Call 911."

Shirley nodded, her eyes wide with fright as she fled the study room with her cell phone in her hand.

"Oh, God." Britta had backed off and was freaking out. "Oh God, what do we do? Are they gonna have to pump his stomach?"

"Probably," I said bleakly. "We'll need to call the Poison Control Center. Listen, Pierce," I sweetened my voice and approached him carefully as if he were a wild animal. "How many pills do you think you took?"

"Didn't take anything! It was Chang! It was all _Chang_! That's what the little man said. You have to go after him. Shirley's in danger!" he swiped at the air furiously and he and Jeff nearly toppled over from the movement.

"Damn it, I don't even know how to handle this yet! We don't cover paranoid schizophrenia until next semester," Britta said.

"Britta, he's not schizophrenic," I said sharply. "He's just in a delusional state. And stop talking that way. He's really susceptible to suggestion right now and you're only going to scare him."

"What's going on?" Troy and Abed had just reentered the room and looked stunned.

"Oh, thank God. Troy, c'mere. Help me hold him!" Jeff was practically buckling from Pierce's weight. Together he and Troy fought to keep him upright while Abed came to stand beside me.

"Hipsters or Chess Club?" he asked me, his head cocked.

"Neither. Pierce O.D.'d again. Can you call Poison Control? I'm going to try and find out how much he took. Shirley already has an ambulance on the way."

"Another dark chapter," Abed muttered, sounding very displeased.

"Tell me about it." I took a tentative step forward, doing my utmost to remain calm.

"I'm calling right now, Annie. It's gonna be okay," Abed said from behind my back.

I nodded. I knew that most likely it would. But only time would tell, wouldn't it?

x

"When are they going to give us any news?" Shirley asked. "It's been over three hours already. Isn't that unusual?"

"I hate hospitals," Britta complained. She was folded in her chair Indian style and playing with a cootie catcher. "They're so institutional. Especially this one. It even smells like 'The Man'."

"The man?" Jeff questioned.

"Oh, you know." She looked up. "Mayonnaise and rubbing alcohol."

"It smells that way because we're near the I.C.U.," I said. I had my head in Abed's lap, having stretched out horizontally over three chairs once my back began to ache. "And they'll have to tell us something soon, I think."

"I keep praying," Shirley said under her breath. "Keep praying for that man's soul. If he only accepted Jesus as his savior instead of that chubby little man who turns into the Lochness Monster, then maybe he wouldn't keep coming back to this…"

"It's all my fault," Troy groaned. And it was one of the few times he'd spoken that night since we'd reached the hospital. "I moved out, didn't I? It's like I abandoned him. If I'd been there keeping an eye on Pierce I could've stopped this from happening…"

"It's not your fault, Troy," Britta cooed, getting all cow-eyed as she rubbed his shoulder. "It's nobody's fault actually. We were with him all last year and he still managed to get hooked without us noticing."

"Oh, we noticed," I said bitterly, unable to let the comment go. "There were so many warning signs; we just didn't do anything about it. We made excuses for him. It's no wonder he started acting out."

"Hey, the man had two broken legs! And at his age? It wasn't like we needed to question it, right?" Britta asked, her voice trembling with doubt.

"There's no point thinking about that stuff now, guys," Abed said. His fingers brushed through my hair, making my eyes close. "What's done is done. You can't change the past. Besides, we got him here really early. It was solid teamwork. There's a good chance this might actually wind up being an uplifting episode."

"There's an even better chance of it becoming an absurd episode," Jeff said dryly. "How much you wanna bet Pierce recovers in time to pull the same stunt he did last year? I hope you brought your camera, Abed."

"On it," Abed replied, patting his backpack.

I got up suddenly, a little annoyed with both of them for trying to make light out of the situation. "You know what—I'm thirsty," I announced. "Does anybody want anything from those vending machines on the fourth floor? I'm gonna take a trip. Stretch my legs."

"I'll go with you," Jeff told me.

"No, that's okay," I said hastily, wishing I could dive back down and retract the offer.

"Annie, you can't carry everything by yourself. And don't you guys want coffee?"

Everyone emitted a resounding yes and I stood there nervously, powerless to get out of it. "Come on." Jeff took my arm and I winced, his fingers seeming to pierce through my sleeve as they encircled my elbow.

We didn't say much on the elevator. But that was totally understandable given the circumstances. And for once it seemed better that Jeff was almost a head and a half taller than me. At least we didn't have to make chit chat face-to-face.

"They've got hazelnut and regular," Jeff read, after we were finally standing in front of the vending machines. "Which one do you think?"

"I don't know."

"Probably go with hazelnut for the girls..."

"I'm just gonna get water," I said, taking a step to the left.

"Okay. And get something with sugar for Troy. Maybe ginger ale since he's looking a little queasy up there. Do you need change?"

"No," I whispered, digging into my purse.

"Annie?" Jeff asked again. Whether he was worried about me or whether he hadn't heard me, I didn't know, because I felt very far away.

"I'm so scared," I said all of a sudden, letting my bag fall against my hip.

"Don't be. Pierce will be fine." Jeff slid a few quarters into the slot. "And Abed's right. We got him here early and he was still conscious. Last year they found him passed out on a park bench."

"But _why_ did he do it?" My heart ached as I considered the possibilities. "Something had to have happened to make him want to take those pills. Have we been ignoring him again? I thought things were better this year."

"Things are better."

"Not for him." I sniffled a little and blotted my cheek with the back of my hand.

"Hey," Jeff said, his countenance having softened. "It's like the nurse said. Pierce probably just found an old bottle in the medicine cabinet and was bored. It doesn't mean he's depressed or anything."

"You don't know that. He lost his father, Jeff!"

"He hated his father. We literally watched him dance on his grave."

"But that's what makes it worse. The guilt. He can't be happy and he can't feel sad. It's probably been eating him up inside. Not to mention the fact that he'll never get the chance to reconcile with his dad again. It doesn't matter that it was a long shot. At this late in life, the dream was all he had!"

Jeff seemed very impressed. "You've really thought a lot about this, haven't you?"

I ducked my head, embarrassed. "Look, all I know is I once found a bunch of Adderral my mother hadn't confiscated after my breakdown. But I threw it out. Because I was in a better place, Jeff. What place is Pierce in right now?"

Jeff sighed, scratching at the back of his neck. "Well, even if he is going through a hard time, we'll get him the help he needs. He's not without friends, Annie. It could be a lot worse."

"I think he's lonely. I think he's all alone in that big house and Christmas is coming and he doesn't know what he's going to do."

"Annie…"

"I know just how he feels," I continued, my voice beginning to waver. "I used to feel the same way."

Jeff turned and hugged me, and although it was a little awkward at first, I quickly eased into the embrace, clutching him at the waist as I started to sob.

"He'll be okay," Jeff murmured, stroking my back. "Maybe the doctor's back already with good news."

"Or bad."

"Not bad. Pierce is a big guy. I think he can handle a few pills."

"I just feel so guilty," I sputtered. "I swore we wouldn't let this happen again. And I should've seen it coming. Me, of all people!"

"Annie," Jeff said patiently, his chest rumbling as his voice spilled out atop my head, "it's not your responsibility to save everybody all the time. And you can't control everything, you know?"

_Not for lack of trying_...

"Pierce will be okay," Jeff kept saying, and every time I heard him say the words I came a little closer to believing them. My face, which was pressed against his side, slid up and I looked at him tiredly, attempting a wan smile. Jeff thumb brushed my cheek and he took my chin in his hand. A stab of something not quite unpleasant but decidedly alarming hit me straight in the stomach, and I started to move away.

But not fast enough.

Jeff's lips landed on mine in a swift swoop and I froze. He was holding me pretty tight and I was panicking, unsure of what to do next. Then he kissed me harder and the need to escape trumped everything else.

"Jeff, stop!" I cried out, squirming away and covering my mouth. My lips felt hot and blistered in my palm and I stared down the corridor, searching for onlookers.

"Shit," I heard him mutter sharply. "Listen, Annie—" He reached for me again.

"Don't!" I said loudly, my voice nearly echoing down the hall.

"Okay, I'm sorry." He took a step back. "I'm really sorry. I wasn't—I didn't _mean_ to do that."

"Well you did!"

My mind was racing. What the hell was I going to do? What was I going to tell everybody when we went back to the waiting room? I had to say something! This morning, this afternoon, this evening… it was all too much. I had to take Abed aside and tell him right now before things got any worse.

Almost as though he knew what I was thinking, Jeff started to speak very forcefully. "Annie, it was an accident."

"Like hell it was!"

"Not an accident then. An impulse. But I wasn't planning on kissing you! You've gotta believe me. I didn't mean to do that," he repeated.

"It doesn't matter what you meant," I said, staring at his face incredulously. "What matters is what you _did_. I can't just pretend like this didn't happen, Jeff. I'm not that good a liar."

"I'm not asking you to lie," he said, and he sounded as frantic as I felt. "I'm only asking you to just keep quiet about it. Just for now. It's been a hell of a day, Annie. Pierce went crazy. We're all here at the hospital. Emotions are running high. You were crying and—"

"So what?" I said angrily. "You were trying to comfort me? Did you think I wanted you to kiss me?"

"I didn't _think_ at all, Annie. That's the point."

"No, that's not the point, Jeff!" I couldn't believe he had the audacity to use not using his brain as a copout. "The point is that you really screwed me over here. You've put me in a very compromising position. Abed is my boyfriend!"

"Damn it, Annie, haven't I been doing enough?" he exclaimed, and his vexation surprised me. "I've left you alone, haven't I? I've been keeping away from you for weeks."

"I didn't ask you to keep away from me! I asked you to be _happy_ for me."

"And I am!"

"No, you're not. If you were truly happy for me and okay with the ways things are you wouldn't have called me last night."

Jeff went silent for a moment, and although he had to have known I'd received the message, he seemed very uncomfortable that I'd brought it up. "I was drunk," he said finally, his eyes downcast.

"That's hardly an excuse, Jeff."

"Look, I don't know what else to say. It's not like this comes naturally to me. I've been working with my therapist. She says I have a lot of unresolved issues…"

"Yeah, no shit!"

"You think I _want_ to feel this way?" he said fiercely, and in two quick strides he had backed me up into the machine. "You think it's easy for me to be jealous of _Abed_? It makes me sick to my stomach, Annie. I see how much better he's getting. I see how happy you guys are. But I can't stop thinking about you. Believe me, I've tried."

Jeff had craned down and his face was an inch from mine. I was completely paralyzed, my back against the glass and buttons pressed up against the pads of my fingertips. I tried to focus on anything else. The hospital's stale smell. The frosty surface of the vending machine. The ugly linoleum floor. Anything but Jeff's mouth and the need in his eyes and the fact that I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted him to kiss me so desperately. And I was so disgusted with myself. I hated myself so much that I would've gladly traded places with him. Because as badly as Jeff was behaving right now, at least it was in earnest.

I was the one lying. To myself, to Jeff, and to Abed. I'd been lying to everybody for weeks and I was only realizing it now.

_Just do it_, I thought miserably. _Just kiss me again and make it official._

"You guys should come back up," a voice said flatly.

Jeff and I tore apart from one another so fast it was as if we'd been shocked by the wrath of the heavens. But it was too late. Sometime during our discussion, I didn't know when, the elevator must've dinged and Troy had come walking through it. How much he'd seen or heard, neither of us could determine, but he had to have witnessed enough, because he was looking at Jeff and me with a severity that seemed utterly incongruous to his affable personality. He looked furious. And saddened. And extremely disappointed.

He looked as disappointed in me as I was in myself.

"Pierce is gonna be okay," Troy told us, his eyes weary. "The doctor said they're gonna keep him overnight for observation, but we can visit him tomorrow. Bring him some things. We're all going to head home actually."

"Is everybody still up there?" Jeff asked, sounding more nervous than I'd ever heard him.

"Yeah. But you should wait here for awhile. Annie and I will go first. We'll make your excuses."

Jeff nodded, his shame palpable as he hung back. I walked away from him and joined Troy at the front of the elevator, feeling as though I was on my way to some sort of trial. And there was no need for one. I already reeked of guilt.

I nearly said goodbye to Jeff as the elevator door closed. It was stupid impulse. Much like his kissing me had been. But I felt I understood Jeff now in a way that I hadn't before. And maybe I'd been wrong when I'd compared him and Britta earlier. I had much more in common with the guy than I'd realized.

Jeff and I… we were two of a kind.


	14. And We All Fall Apart

_Author's Note: This chapter, & coincidentally this A.N., are extra, EXTRA long. This chapter is also rated "M". I'll include a synopsis next time around for those who wish to skip it._

_Sorry if I've been tardy on responses this week. Busy girl. How are you guys liking the new setup on the site? It's gnarly, right? Makes it so much easier to read. And we get avi spotlights! Feels a lil' facebook-y but it's cool. Anyways, onto the anonymi:_

_Mae – You're back! Never fear, darling, my story is back, too. / Br7nn – Aw, hell… Y'know, I appreciate every review; it doesn't matter if it's brief or long. Somebody could leave me a simple "Nice job!" & I'd think, "So considerate". But this is the sort of review that, if I could PM you, it would be nothing but Xs & Os. I promise, I'm not trying to scare anyone. I'm just letting the characters guide me. Still, I can't thank you enough for this. I was deeply moved. / pleasantparker – Relax. I don't think you offended "Anon". He or she was only trying to help you out. And stop complimenting me so much or I'll hug you squid-style. *waves tentacles* / Jem – That was incredibly generous of you to pull a astopperindeath (*wink*) & share your thoughts on so many chapters. I'd be happy simply if you'd said once "I'm reading & enjoying it", but to take such time to go cool cool cool makes my inner Abed positively beam. "No joke"._

_/ Elviriel – Oh, I'm so glad you say you empathize w/ Annie. Since I shot myself in the foot by writing _Door Number Two _in the first person (WHYYY?), I've spent quite a lot of time by now hanging out in Annie's head, suffering the way a twenty-year old would suffer. It ain't no picnic. And y'know, I thought that particular scene would be a challenge, too, but it turned out to be the easiest thing to write thus far. It poured out of me & felt so natural. Hopefully you'll agree. I've been itching to post it for weeks... (Restraint, Cait!) Oh, & I'm smack in the middle of writing Ch 19 now which is a hard one. I promise if I finish the story earlier than anticipated I'm gonna edit/post even faster. It's just I always have to be several chapters ahead for back-editing to ensure narrative structure, continuity & flow, so... once it's done it should be Reese's pieces, babycakes._

_/ Anon – Thanks for your honest & detailed review. It means a lot to me to receive a J/A fan's stamp of approval. To be clear, I (the omnipotent writer pulling the strings) always knew that Annie wouldn't get over Jeff so quickly. Even though she might've deluded herself to think she was capable of such a feat. Of course they have a connection. All romantic interest is is sexual attraction coupled w/ warm friendship, & Jeff & Annie shine in both categories. I realized early on that if _Door Number Two _were to continue, Jeff would have a problem w/ Annie's wanting to move on just like that when he'd been so chivalrous as to restrain himself. It was only natural that there'd be hurt feelings on both sides & a big ole mess to mop up. But I didn't want to get bogged down w/ writing such a long story. I just wanted to do the hookup. But then people said they wanted a sequel & the plot bunnies started a-bouncin' & hell, I'm still thanking my lucky stars those guys talked me into it b/c it's been very rewarding writing this so far. _

_/ Katie Moon – You're not only a darling reviewer, you're like my surrogate editor. Thanks for catching that. I proofread each chapter like a hawk on speed but every so often my synapses fail me & I leave out a word or leave in a typo. Cootie *catcher. I'm sure you get what Britta was playing w/ now but that's the little paper contraption that unfolds during the title credits of _Community_. _

_As always, much love to readers, reviewers, subscribers & favoriters. Most love of to all to you, Ksentos. I know you don't think you did much, but you really helped me out here. Seriously._

**Chapter 14: And We All Fall Apart**

VERY IMPORTANT: This chapter contains mature themes. To read it in full, please go to this link:

h-t-t-p : (forward slash forward slash) mc-aitlyn . livejournal . com (forward slash) 4945 . h-t-m-l

Also, see my profile for the link to my livejournal account.


	15. When We Make, We Break

_Author's Note: So I just finished packing for a last-minute business trip. I'm gone 'til Sunday. I will have wi-fi, of course, but I don't know how busy I'll be so I apologize to my penpals & reviewers if there's a slight lag in my responses. Also, since time is variable & I imagine it'll be hard to focus in a hotel room you guys get this update three days early rather than potentially three days late. Also, not gonna lie, the flood of reviews swayed me. What was the point in my holding back when it's been done for so long? Oh, right-pacing. Well, I'm just not gonna think about that right now. Tra la la... *fingers in ears*  
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_Synopsis of Ch 14 – Troy warns Annie that if she doesn't tell Abed about her & Jeff, he'll do it for her. However, after a bit of cajolery & Disney eyes on her part, Troy decides to let Annie drop him at Pierce's for the evening so that she & Abed can talk things through on their own. Annie goes home to Abed & tries to temper her forthcoming revelation by telling him that she loves him. Abed is so moved by this that he begins to kiss her, which leads to them falling into bed together. In the course of lovemaking, he reveals that he loves her, too. Annie begins to cry & finally fesses up to what she'd been meaning to tell Abed all along._

_Lots of lovely, lovely anonymi again. You guys are really coming out of the woodwork:_

_Meghan – As you can see, you talked me into that early update. / anon – Yup. Kind of what I was going for. / heRieAnn – Thanks for mentioning Troy. I relish writing him in serious situations. That episode where he turned 21 is one of my favs. As for the sex—actually no, I don't. As a 28 year-old woman, I know the logistics pretty well but I'll admit it is a tad daunting putting them to writing. Takes for-ev-ah. That, & I've always viewed the erotica section at the bookstore as the most boring & clichéd genre. And when you don't want to read about swarthy men & heaving bosoms you don't exactly have a template for how to write about sex, y'know? Plus, I don't follow any fanfic outside of _Community_, & unfortunately there's still a serious dearth of Abed/Annie stories when it comes to actual intimacy. Yo, Abed & Annie fans that are reading this: Go write some hookups! / Elviriel – Sorry for teasing ya last A.N. Here it is! Too bad I can't PM you, b/c I'd definitely tell you whether you're right or not. *wink* But you'll see soon enough, & I love reading people's predictions so thanks for that. Oh, & you are right about Annie. She never set out to be deceitful. Unfortunately, the seeds of deception are slyly sown… & often unbeknownst to ourselves. / Katie Moon _– _Thank you. I was hoping that even though everyone (including Annie) knew that what she was doing was wrong, you'd still feel for her, too, & hopefully relate to her anxieties. _

_/ Isabella – Part of the story's format is that the reader, like Annie, never gets to know what Abed's thinking. Which should hopefully illustrate the difficulties & novelty of starting a relationship w/ someone as unusual as Abed. So the entire story is in first-person from Annie's POV. However, I've been DYING to write a story from Abed's POV for maybe two months now. The latter half of the season gave me a lot of ideas & my muse Ksentos shot me an awesome one, too, so hopefully once I'm done with this story, I can finally switch it up... especially for you, my dear, as you've flattered me. But if you're in dire need of Abed POV stories, check out Yonderly & Jayflight111's stuff. / Br7nn – You're a smart cookie & absolutely right about my having something very big planned. And BLESS you for going back & reviewing two key chapters! You're also correct in your assessment that Annie & Abed were sharing a very poignant connection in that moment... which was sullied, of course, by Annie's secret. / pleasantparker79 – Unfortunately, the tragedy was a necessity. It wouldn't have been in keeping w/ the emotional ramp-up of the story for Annie to tell Abed about Jeff w/o his having reached some choice conclusions first. / Copsical – As I said, I adore reading people's predictions & I'm anxious to get your take on this chapter as yours was very well-reasoned. I esp. enjoyed your observation that Abed's pragmatism grounds Annie's romantic flights of fancy. That is very true, but it's also true that Annie being the sort of warm & passionate person that she is has just as much of a pull as far as Abed's cool logic is concerned. Which leads me to…_

_/ …To my very honest reviewer, Anon _– _ Why, thank you! Others who may've felt the same way were tiptoeing around the subject but I don't mind your being refreshingly frank about the way I portrayed Abed in my last chapter. I think people were seriously holding back in their reviews, although I'm a tad surprised nobody made any connections as to the big "Why?" yet. (I hope you guys know I don't do anything by accident if I can help it.) It was actually a watershed moment—the first of a series of climaxes. (No pun intended.) I promise, I'm writing this story very deliberately & ahead of schedule so that I can utilize both hindsight & foresight. Ch 14, for instance, I wrote six weeks ago. And while up until that point I'd kept everyone's voices as close to the show's as I could—Abed's behavior, dialogue, hell, most importantly his cadence when he was making love to Annie were not just mildly different—I wrote them to be discernibly & unmistakably __beyond__ the way his character would typically act. __It was intentional__. Well… maybe not so much intentional as inevitable. See, I realized while writing that the second time Abed & Annie made love would have to be the complete flipside of _Door Number Two. _It's central not only to the development but the symmetry of the story._ _He had to shock the hell out of her before she did him, so Abed's shifting into someone palpably different, someone much more—for lack of a better term—_accessible_ is supposed to jar Annie as much as it does the reader. If it pulled you out of the moment, I'm sorry, chillins… I was going for more intrigue than confusion. But it should make better sense as the story reveals itself. Oh, & regarding Annie, yes, she is a very buttoned-down person & typically has a lot of self control. It's only w/ Abed that she seems to lack it. And vice versa. Again, I promise you, it's intentional. (And symmetrical!)_

_Here we go again…_

**Chapter 15: When We Make, We Break**

x

"What?"

He seemed stunned. Nothing more, nothing less. Just really, really surprised. I had my hand over my eyes and I was trying to keep my voice in order as I repeated the statement. Albeit a tad less dramatically this time.

"Jeff kissed me."

Abed pulled out of me. Fast. The instant he left my body I felt cold and disjointed. He moved across the sheets and turned on the light. I took my hand off my face and squinted into the brightness, seeing him staring at me from the opposite side of the bed. No expression. No judgment. Engulfed in a dangerous calm that rattled me more than anything else.

"When and where?"

"At the hospital," I said meekly. "When we left to go get the coffee."

"Why?"

"I… I don't know."

A flicker of scorn pulled at his mouth and it roused me to a seat.

_He is angry,_ I realized.

"It's complicated," I explained in a rush. "We were talking. I was upset, you know, about Pierce. I started crying, and it seemed like he was just being supportive. And then we hugged. And then he kissed me. And then—"

"Did you kiss him back?" Abed interrupted.

I tugged the sheets up and over my body, feeling very exposed. "No."

He cocked his head. "Did you, Annie?"

"No!" I said louder. And then more tears fell.

Abed got off the bed, reaching for his pants on the floor.

"What are you doing?" I asked worriedly.

"I'm getting dressed."

"Why?"

"Because I can't have this conversation naked." His tone was flat. Lifeless even.

"Here, let me—" I began, throwing a leg off the bed.

"You stay there!" Abed told me. And he sounded so frantic that I stopped at once, freezing in place.

"Okay," I breathed, trying to keep my tone gentle as I watched him get dressed. His movements were clumsy as he pulled on his clothes. Purposeful but poorly orchestrated. And it was such a far cry from how he'd been just minutes earlier. The way he'd kissed and caressed me. So fluid and practiced…

_He's very upset_, I thought. _Oh God, what have I done?_

Finally he drew his shirt over his head. Having finished, Abed looked at me with guarded eyes and gestured with his hand.

"Where do you want me to start?" I said.

"Where you left off. Jeff kissed you, and you say you didn't kiss him back. And then what happened?"

"I… I pushed him away."

Abed simply looked at me blankly, giving no indication as to whether he found this to be any better.

"And then I yelled at him," I added, wanting to see if that did the trick. But it didn't. So I continued. "And then he apologized. He, um… he swore that he didn't mean to do it."

"Do you believe him?"

I frowned, bringing my knees to my chest while still holding the sheets around me. "Sort of. I honestly think it was an impulse. I mean, he knew it was wrong. There's no mistaking that. But then I also feel like he's been thinking about doing something like this for a while so… maybe it was partially premeditated…?" I finished uncertainly.

"And why would Jeff be thinking about kissing you?"

I flushed, looking into my lap. "Because he has feelings for me."

"Still?"

"Yes."

"Did he tell you that?"

I gave a weak nod.

"And you knew about it? Before tonight?"

I closed my eyes. I'd so hoped he wouldn't ask that question.

"Annie!"

I looked up, amazed. At his volume. His face.

"He called me," I said, at once a little cooler under pressure. "Late last night. He left me a voicemail saying that he wanted to talk. He said that he thought that things have been weird between us. It was a short message and he, uh… well, it was obvious he was very drunk."

"And why didn't you tell me about the voicemail?"

I hesitated. "I was scared."

"Of what?"

"Of how you'd react."

"But why would you be afraid of that?" Abed asked, looking genuinely perplexed. "He was the one calling you, not the other way around. It's not like you did anything…" And then he trailed off, his eyes widening. "Oh." His shoulders seemed to slump and I wondered what he was thinking. "Oh, I see…" Abed took a heavy breath. "So has it, Annie?"

"Has it what?"

He swallowed, and in that instant I heard his voice crack. "Been weird between you two?"

I slid off the bed. "Abed—"

"I knew it," he blurted. "All of the signs were there. I knew it and I saw it but there was so much evidence to the contrary I didn't want to believe it."

"What signs?" I choked out. "Nothing happened, Abed. Nothing's been going on between Jeff and me!"

"Oh, please, Annie," he scoffed. "You think I don't see the way you look at him?"

"Don't say that." I reached for him, one hand stretching out while the other clutched the sheet to my breasts. "Don't say that, Abed! It's not true."

"It is true." His words were blunt as he moved away, just out of my reach. "You and Jeff, that's always been true, Annie."

"See, this? _This_ is what I was afraid of!" I cried out, scrambling towards him. "I didn't want this—him. I didn't ask for any of it, Abed. I just wanted to be with you!"

Abed dropped his head, and even though my hand was on his chest it was as if I wasn't even there.

"I think I knew all along," Abed was muttering. "Knew it from the start really. I knew it was wrong to sleep with you. I'd overstepped my boundaries. It was never… never _supposed_ to happen…"

"What are you talking about?" I wrenched at his shirt. "What are you saying?"

"Or maybe it was? Maybe I was just there to help you figure things out…?"

"Abed!"

He raised his head, and suddenly it was gone. The confusion. The despair. All that was left was a sort of quiet resignation.

"This makes sense," he said, as though coming to a decision.

"What makes sense?" I asked fearfully.

"You and Jeff. You and me. I can see why it all happened the way it did. I was a foil. But a necessary one. I had to be there in order for you to get to him. That was my role."

I didn't say anything. I couldn't say anything. I was too horrified to speak.

"It's strange," he said, staring past me. "Here I thought we'd gone completely off script but… but I can totally see it now. It snuck up on us, didn't it? Like an unexpected plot twist. But it was all predetermined. Everything actually went according to plan."

"What plan!" I shouted, stirred into action. "What script? What the hell's going on in your head right now?"

"Don't get upset," Abed told me, shifting his gaze and looking straight into my eyes. But he wasn't looking at me. Not really. And I didn't even recognize the person standing in front of me. "You don't have to feel bad about this, Annie. It was meant to happen."

"_What _was meant to happen?"

"You and Jeff. It was meant to be. And it does make sense. You and him, you match."

I felt as if he'd just socked me in the stomach. "We… match?"

"Yes. You, Annie. The stunning young ingénue. Neurotic but surprisingly self-possessed. Him, Jeff. The classic leading man. Cunning but unknowingly self-destructive. I'll admit we all got thrown off in season one by him and Britta. They seemed so hot for each another. And it was good television. Sexy. Sweeps. All of that jazz. But it was also a red herring. Britta was never right for Jeff. She's too self-destructive all on her own."

"Wha-what—"

"And they were no Ross and Rachel. But there _you_ were…" he broke off, smiling dreamily. "Hanging on the sidelines. It must've been incredibly frustrating for the audience to see Jeff pine over the likes of Britta and Slater while you went unnoticed. Because they noticed you, Annie. How could they not? You're so beautiful. And smart. And sensitive in a way Britta is not. Of course they'd fall for you. Of course they'd want Jeff to, as well."

I started to shudder. "Abed, _stop_! Please, stop. This isn't a TV show. I'm not Jennifer Aniston! You have to stop!"

"No, you're not Jennifer," he agreed, cupping my face in a manner that ought to have been affectionate but felt anything but. "You were never merely the pouting princess or the comic relief. You fit the mold all right, but you're far too dimensional for those secondhand stereotypes. You're Mary Tyler Moore. And Angela Chase. Peggy Olson… and maybe a little bit of Ally McBeal thrown in. The winning vulnerability, of course. Not the annoying idiosyncrasies that caused the series to come to a screeching halt."

"Abed, stop!" I yelled, and I tried to push him away. But he grabbed me mid-shove. And then he kissed me. But it wasn't warm. It was cold and closemouthed. And it felt horrible.

"It's better this way," he told me firmly. "You'll be good for him."

"I don't want to be good for him!" I threw his hands off of my shoulders and hugged him at the waist. "I want to be good for you. You_ said_ I was good for you…"

"But we're not right for each other," Abed said, letting me cling to him as he patted my back absently. "We never have been. Think about it, Annie. The girl next door and the social outcast? It's a running gag, you know? They build whole shows around it. _Family Matters, Big Bang Theory, _even _Buffy_ to some extent. Nobody's rooting for us. And you know you're out of my league."

"I'm _not_!" I protested, my voice muffled by his chest. "Abed, you're too good for me. You know you are. You're the one who's good for me, I swear it!"

"You're exaggerating, Annie. We had fun, but… I might not be right for anybody. Except Troy. I should have been happy with just him. Our friendship, our adventures… we always did know how to steal a scene. But I guess I wanted more," he said, sighing almost wistfully. "I watched you branch out and blossom and, just like the rest of the viewers, I couldn't help but fall for you, too. And it irritated me, Annie. To see Jeff continue to keep you at arm's length. When I knew that you were everything he'd ever wanted. Everything anybody could ever want."

"Abed—"

"I mean, how could he resist you? Didn't he know the people were clamoring for it? I suppose it was only natural that I'd want to take advantage when you kissed me that night. It seemed like such a glaring opportunity that it made me believe that I could break the rules. Because why should nobody have you when I wanted you, Annie? I'd wanted you when he hadn't…"

"And you _have_ me!" I exclaimed, pulling my face from his now dampened t-shirt. "You do have me, Abed. I love you. I love so much. I was just confused. But I'm not confused anymore. I don't want Jeff, I want _you_!"

"You're still confused," he said patiently, looking fairly impassive. "Because you're a nice person, and your loyalties are divided. But I'm not Jeff, Annie. I could never be Jeff. He can provide for you in ways that I can't. He's not just the cool guy on campus, he's surprising scrappy. And he's older—now that's a plus. You know how the people love a May-December romance."

"What people?" I fretted, taking his hands into mine and allowing the sheet to slip. "Abed, you've lost it! You've completely lost it! And you're scaring me. There's no audience here. It's just you and me. And I don't even know who I'm talking to right now. Where are you? Are you even in there? Where is Abed?"

"I'm here," he answered. "You're just dissociating because I'm telling you things you don't want to hear. Britta can tell you more about that. She's the psych major."

"I don't want to talk to Britta, I want to talk to _Abed_!"

"I'm here," he repeated calmly. "And I'm telling you to go to Jeff."

I dropped his hands. "What!"

"Go to him. Tonight. Right now, if you have to. He's probably in a lot of pain. And so are you. It'll be better once you're together."

I stepped back, more frightened than ever.

"You'll be happy with him," Abed went on, and every word cut me to the core. "He's finally woken up, hasn't he? Realized what he's been missing. He won't take you for granted anymore. And it may've taken a few years for things to fall into place but the audience will forget all about that once they finally see the two of you together. Besides, the sexual tension must've been at an all time high what with you and I dating. If you could call it dating. I'd do something grown-up for you, you'd throw on a costume for me… We were really going through the motions, weren't we? What a farce."

"Shut up!" I shrieked. "Shut up and snap out of it, Abed! What the hell do you think you're doing? Are you trying to hurt me?"

"No, no. I'm trying to _help_ you," he intoned, setting his hand on my arm the way a parent would an errant child. "I'm trying to explain to you why it happened. You and me. That night. It was a fool's errand, Annie. Nothing was ever supposed to come of it. Except for this. And I think that made it worth it, don't you? Because you get Jeff…" Abed paused, giving off a wry chuckle. "The poor guy. It must've been hell for him to see us together. And he's been so nice to me lately. All of that guilt for no good reason, right?"

"Abed, _please_…" I was losing my will as all of the anger seeped out of me. "Please stop talking this way. You have no idea how painful it is for me to hear these things. And I know you don't believe them—I just know you don't. You love me! You said that you love me. And we belong together, you and me. I knew it…" I brought my hand to his cheek and held it tenderly. "I knew it from the moment you kissed me."

"You kissed me," he said pointedly. "And I don't love you."

My knees gave and it felt as though the floor was pulled out from under me. "What?" I gasped, crumbling where I stood.

"I don't love you. Maybe I thought I did for a second there. But it must've just been the heat of the moment. You know how it is when you're in bed. You can get lost," he told me. "Say things you don't mean."

He couldn't have hurt me more if he'd plunged a knife straight into my heart. I slapped him. It was hard and it was furious but he didn't even flinch.

"Fuck you!" I raged, shaking with a violence that swallowed me whole. "How _dare_ you, Abed? I cannot believe you just said that to me. You're lying! You're lying so hard right now and I'm not buying it for a second. You don't just fake something like that. You can't! And I know that you love me, too. You wouldn't be acting this way if you didn't. And it's so vindictive of you. It's cruel!"

"I'm not trying to be cruel," Abed said, peering at me as though I was some strange creature to be studied. Pitied even. "I'm just trying to be honest. I wasn't faking anything. I was just… trying it on. But it didn't fit, Annie. You and I, we don't fit. And the truth is I don't know how to love. I have some abstract notions of how it should feel. I've seen the movies. I know what it looks like. And I have people that matter to me, even those I wouldn't want to do without. I can call it love, and yeah, maybe I have, but at the end of the day I'd still be fine if everybody left. I've spent years on my own. No friends. Not much of a family life. And I've survived. So that's why you shouldn't worry about me, Annie."

He drew a step closer. "That's why I'm telling you it's okay to let me go."

I stood there for some seconds. Naked. Shivering. More vulnerable than I'd ever felt. I could see that he seemed serious. And for a moment there he almost had me. The air of apathy. The utter lack of emotion in his voice. It was almost impossible for me to believe that this was the same person who'd just made love to me. Who I'd spent weeks having in-depth conversations with and getting to know in a way I'd never shared with anybody else. The Abed I knew adored me. He was kind. And gentle. And sensitive even when striving for such sympathies was a bit of a struggle. The Abed I knew would never hurt me this way.

But maybe that person was gone.

Maybe I'd managed to destroy him.

"But what if I don't want to?" I whispered finally. "What if I don't want to let you go?"

"You're gonna have to," he said. Stoic and unblinking. "You don't love me either, Annie. You think you do but you don't. You love Jeff. He's your dream. He always has been and he's finally yours. See, the thing you don't get is that we were on a sort of detour. Two chronically single characters with their fair share of quirks? People would always wonder. So this was an experiment. A way to tie up some loose ends. But now we've reached what's known as 'The Fold' and we're back. Back to the way things are supposed to be. And maybe I should leave now, Annie. I think things will become much clearer for you once you're alone…"

He turned towards the door and I grabbed his hand.

"Abed… Abed, please listen to me," I said fiercely, my voice rising in last ditch effort to save all that was dear. "I love you. I know you don't believe me right now but it's the truth. And I can't be without you, I just _can't_! I won't be fine on my own, because… because I've fallen for you in a way I didn't think was possible. I'll miss you so much if you go. And it's not just a matter of moving on because I'm sure I would on the surface but deep down, things would never be the same. I'd go my whole life regretting what's happened between us. And I'd love you forever, I know I would."

He looked down at me, and for an instant I thought I saw something change in his face. A flicker of something warm. And hopeful. But it disappeared so quickly I might as well have imagined it.

"That's your guilt talking," he said dismissively. "And it's okay to be selfish, Annie. I'm not petty. I want you to be happy."

"But I'll be happy with you!" I said, trying to draw him to me. "I know I'll be happy with you."

"Well, I wouldn't. It's not right. It's not the way the things are supposed to be."

"Fuck the way things are supposed to be! This is what's real, Abed. You and me. Not me and Jeff. Not some imaginary viewers!"

Abed closed his eyes. I squeezed his fingers tightly, hoping with every fiber of my being that he'd finally begun to come to his senses. To come back to me. He opened them just as suddenly, and while they weren't wet like mine, they were rather sad for a moment.

"You know, I have to say that's the part that surprised me most," he said.

"What was?" I shook my head, uncomprehending.

"How real it felt."

And then he tore himself away. The action harsh and deliberate. My heart sank to my bottom of my stomach as I tried to think of something, anything, to get him to stay.

"What about Christmas?" I sputtered. "It's right around the corner. We were supposed to spend it together."

He paused at the door. "Neither of us celebrates it. Not much of a loss now, is it?"

"Abed, please!" I said in a strangled voice. "You _promised_, remember? You promised you'd never leave me."

This time he didn't even bother to even turn around. "That was before. Everything's different now."

And then he left.


	16. Will They Or Won't They

_Author's Note: This chapter is dedicated to PinkBunnysWillRuleTheWorld. Not only b/c it's an awesome username, but b/c I literally JUST logged in to upload my update & her comment gave me CHILLS. You'll see why after you've read this chapter.  
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_I'm so sorry for the lag I've been subjecting people to all week w/ PM's & review replies. I was oh so busy. I just got home Sunday & was planning on relaxing when a friend I only see once in a blue moon showed up. Suffice to say, I'll be playing catchup all week… I had so much work today it was chaos. But don't think your reviews went unnoticed. I GORGED on them, & they gave the push I needed in every spare hour in my hotel room to work on the bane of my existence: Ch 19… which is 20+ pages. Granted, it might've been done a month ago if I hadn't been distracted by personal stuff, which took a lot out of me._

_Anyways, I know from PM's & story alerts that I have yet to get to the new chapters + stories of Marrrrrrr, Yonderly & Penny1200. Believe me, I relish reading fanfic as much as I do writing it but I was of a single-minded determination to finally conquer that bi-otch (Ch 19) this week. So I know I owe you guys some reads & reviews but I'm plugging your work in the hopes people will find it & fill the void until I make the rounds this weekend. I wouldn't usually update w/o having replied & R&R'd to anyone & everyone but I resolved when I first started this story to never go more than a week w/o an update. (Which is why I didn't so much as publish Chapter 1 w/o having ten chapters written out first…) God, this A.N. is rambling roses, ain't it? _

_Onto my anonymi:_

_Anon (in reference to Ch 7) – I never knew making someone giggle at a McDonalds was a life goal but sweet, I can cross that off the bucket list. And your review was constructive to me. Ch 6 & 7 I'm esp. fond of for the very reason you're amused. / Elviriel – I'm happy you were pleased w/ the reaction b/c Ch 15 was one of those crucial chapters in which I had many of the lines/reactions in mind before I wrote it. I'll admit it's the plot bunny that got me to write a sequel. Although I have to say once I began fleshing it out I was all, "Yikes, this is so much sadder than I ever could've anticipated." You're so right. I was heavily influenced by the Dreamatorium episode, fount of character info that it is! Given your commentary, (you clever thing, you!), I'm looking forward to your opinion on this chapter as it's quite important, too. And I'm hugging you right now! At least in my mind I am. Can you feel the love? I hope so._

_/ Kid in a corner – The reasons for Abed's reaction are fourfold & very complex. I'm so anxious for people to learn more, you have no idea! Again, I'd have posted Chs 16-18 weeks ago if not for this pacing thing. But now that Ch 19's finally wrapped up hopefully I can zip through the rest of the story quite speedily. / Katie Moon – Score! I mean, poor you. Sorry to be encouraged by your sullen feedback but I really wanted the reader to identify w/ Annie in that moment. Because I did. Oh, man, did I ever as I was writing it. Abed, too, of course, as I'm the author & I know what he was going through, as well. / anon – While I did get a little lavish w/ the angst, I didn't mean to step on anyone's heart, least of all your precious one. / Anna – I'm immensely grateful you reviewed at all. And quoting Troy Barnes is half the battle when it comes to charming me. _

_/ Copsical – Hell yes! (Sorry, I get really excited w/ super smart detailed reviewers like youself.) Much like Elvriel, you have an uncanny knack for following my thought patterns in terms of conflict/resolution & you always ask the questions I would like people to ask. There is plenty of confrontation on every side of the love triangle to come. The story may be entitled _Loose Ends_ but by the time it's finished I don't intend for there to be any. Also—oh, what a ravishing compliment you've paid me. I agree wholeheartedly. _Door Number Two_ was just a flash in the pan: a snippet of what it feels like to have wonderful sex w/ a good friend who turns out to be more. But I knew w/ my particular setup that I'd opened Pandora's Box & that if I were ever to continue the story there'd be a myriad of issues to address. Three characters' development, first & foremost. It just seemed so daunting at the time that I was scared off. Nevertheless, reviews such as this one catalogue every reason why I decided to do a sequel & leave me w/ a glow of validation. _

_/ Lilo – If by professional writer you mean write for a living then I already do as it's part of my job. But I'm no Jonathan Franzen, so thank you so much for making me feel like him. / pleasantparker79 – I hope you're exaggerating but if I actually made you cry, I'm extremely sorry… & a little proud. / Br7nn – You want to make out? Oof, there I go getting excited again. Seriously though, I ADORE your reviews. Esp. that line about Abed activating a shield. It's just so in keeping w/ the tone of the chapter & Abed's sci-fi sensibilities that I could kiss you, I swear it! If & when I do get a bald cap to befit my new nickname, Dr. Evil, I promise to swing 'round in front of you saying "Lights, Camera, Dean!" / anon – Are those asterisks tears? If so, I'll refer you to my response to pleasantparker. / Jem – Oh, I dunno. This site is very weird about posting links. Probably to prevent spam, I'd wager. Yes, that's a question a lot of people have been wondering. Can't give anything away but I promise Ch 15 isn't the last we've seen of Abed. _

_/ Thomasyn – My darling, my dearest... how can I ever repay you for how happy this review made me? Yes, I do have a tendency to include important lines & echo many a theme & situation in my story. Nothing happens w/o reason, I promise. It's not a coincidence that Annie is wondering about Jeff in a public restroom in Ch 11 & swept off her feet by Abed in their private bathroom the next installment. Yup, everything has been leading up to now. I realize it's ridiculous for me to expect the average reader to pay even passing attention to something as frivolous as fanfic but I'd be lying if I said this story hasn't become sort of important to me. It's the longest thing I've ever written outside of my college thesis & it's the longest piece of fiction I've written ever. Oh, & my author's notes are only as long as the list of lovely anonymous reviewers so if you keep it up, I promise to, as well.  
><em>

**Chapter 16: Will They Or Won't They?**

x

"Hello?" a sleepy voice answered.

"Troy!"

"Annie?"

I tried to say "yes" but what came out was less of a word, more of a wet wail.

"Annie, what's the matter?" Troy said, sounding instantly more alert.

"I told him, Troy. I told him and he totally flipped out! Only he didn't yell or get angry, he just _changed_. It was like he… he disappeared. He became all calm and distant and he started talking like a game show host and he was saying the most ridiculous things… the most—" I took a painful breath, "—hurtful things. And then he left me. He told me to go to Jeff and then he left me behind!"

"Okay, okay, okay, hang on a second," Troy interrupted, and I could hear him moving. "Where'd he go?"

"He didn't say! And I couldn't run after him because… because I didn't have my shoes on yet. And I was in shock. And by the time I got myself together he was already out the door. His car isn't in its space! I think he's turned off his phone. And I'm losing my mind here, Troy. You should've seen him. It's like he wasn't _him_ anymore, you know? It's like he completely broke from reality!"

"Annie," Troy said briskly, "slow down and work with me here. Did he say anything before he left?"

"Like what?"

"Anything! Even something small like… like a clue?"

"I honestly don't remember. It all happened so fast. And the things he was saying were so crazy I wasn't exactly scanning for subtext."

"What was he saying?"

I wiped my eyes. "Oh, you know… everything's going according to plan. We're all characters following some souped up script. A whole bunch of jumbled TV crap!"

"Did he… specify the genre?"

"What?"

"Well, you said TV. But then you've gotta narrow it down from there. You know, serial, drama, sitcom, procedural, soap opera—that kinda thing."

"I don't know…" I bit my lip, trying to think back. "Sitcom maybe. He mentioned sitcoms more than anything else. But the context was soap opera."

"How do you mean?"

My hand tightened its curl around the phone. "He said… he said that it was always meant to happen this way. That I belong with Jeff. He made it sound like he was some sort of phase I was going through, but that he didn't mind. And then he told me that…" I had to scrape to say the words, "he didn't love me."

Troy was silent for a stretch. "I'm sorry, Annie," he said finally. And it sounded genuine. But it wasn't what I wanted to hear.

"Just… just please tell me that you know where he is, Troy. I have to see him again. I have to make things right."

"It's hard to tell," he murmured, and I could almost see him scratching his head. "He's Abed. He has hangouts and secret hideaways all over Riverside County. He could be any number of places."

"But it's ten past eleven on a weekday night! Where could he be hiding right now? A bar?"

"It's a possibility. You said he launched into TV mode. He could be role playing."

_Great. So Abed could be drinking his sorrows away. And he doesn't have much tolerance. What if something happens to him?_

"Troy," I asked hesitantly. "You don't think he'd do anything stupid, do you?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know," I mumbled. "He wasn't himself..."

"He's still him, Annie," Troy assured me, but he didn't sound as confident as I would've liked. "He's just escaping right now. This thing with Jeff might've been too much for him… Damnit. I knew I shouldn't have left you guys alone."

"Well, how long is he going to escape for? Is there an established time frame or what?"

"Who knows? But we've been through stuff like this before. Remember last Christmas?"

"Oh, God," I breathed, the realization smacking me right across the face. "Oh, God, that's right. It's that time of year again…"

"Annie—"

"He could be anywhere, Troy! He could be anywhere doing anything or saying God knows what to anybody. I've never seen him act that way, I swear! He was so out of it. He was like some sort of zombie!"

"Annie, stop! Just calm down already. I'll find him, all right? I'll find him as soon as I can."

"I'm coming to get you then," I said. "I'll come over right now and we'll look together."

"No, it's okay. Pierce has three cars and I know where the keys are. It's an emergency so I don't think he'd mind if I took one of them. Besides, he used to like me to drive him places. But then he'd always want to sit in the back seat," Troy muttered, "if you know what I mean."

"So what am I supposed to do?" I demanded, my voice rising. "Just wait here? He's not coming back, Troy. He couldn't wait to get away from me!"

"Which is exactly why you _can't_ come! He won't react well if you're there. He'll just run again. You broke his heart, Annie. The least you could do is give him some space."

I was too busy sinking into ruin to appreciate Troy's sigh of regret. "Annie, hey, I'm sorry about that. I know you—"

"Call me when you find him," I interrupted. And then I hung up.

x

I'd been knocking for nearly a minute when he finally opened the door.

"Annie, what the hell are you—"

"Abed's gone," I said, blowing past him and throwing my coat and purse onto his couch.

"Gone?" Jeff repeated blankly. He was dressed in a t-shirt and boxers and his eyes were still lidded with sleep. "Gone where?"

"I don't know!" I shouted. "I don't know Jeff! He's disappeared, all right? He took off!"

"Annie, lower your voice." Jeff's eyes widened right away and he shut the door behind us. "It's 3 o'clock in the morning! Do you want someone to call the police?"

"Might as well," I said, throwing my arms out. "Might as well get them involved. After all, Troy isn't doing much good."

"Troy?"

"Yes, Troy! He's been out looking for Abed for hours. So have I, by the way! Even though he told me not to. And we've tried _everywhere_, Jeff. Every corner. Every alleyway. Every store. Every playground. The river bank. Not to mention both his father's house and the falafel restaurant! And he's gone," I finished, folding onto the couch and putting my head in my hands. "I'm worried he's gone for good."

"Jesus," I heard Jeff say under his breath. And then I heard him walk away. When he returned he set a glass of water on the coffee table and put his hand on my shoulder. "Annie…" he started off in a resigned voice, "honestly, Annie, why'd you have to tell him?"

"What?" I looked up sharply.

"Why'd you have to tell him?" Jeff said again, speaking to me as though I was incredibly foolish. "You knew it would only hurt him, right?"

"I can't believe you," I gasped. "I just plain can't _believe_ you, Jeff! What did you expect me do? I couldn't keep it from him any longer. It was bad enough as it was. And even if Troy hadn't seen us together I couldn't have gone on lying the way that I was..."

"Lying about what? Nothing happened."

"Oh, so did I just imagine you kissing me? Was it all some fantastic delusion of mine?"

"That's not what I meant," Jeff said exasperatedly. "I mean that nothing happened until tonight. And it was all me, wasn't it? It's not like you were to blame.

"Oh, Jeff…" I wanted to laugh but found I couldn't summon the strength. "You and I both know it's not that simple."

I kept my gazed fixed on his, daring him to deny it. After some time he finally blinked, and took a dejected seat next to me.

"You didn't have to lie," he said. "You might've just… told it differently."

"And how was I supposed to tell it, Counselor?" I bit back. "How was I supposed to spin it so I'd come off as less of a backstabbing whore?"

Jeff jerked, surprised. "You're not a whore, Annie."

"Well… it's nice to know at least somebody thinks so," I mumbled, tears running down my face as I downed half of my glass in one gulp.

"What you do you mean?"

"Abed hates me, Jeff. He _hates_ me now. Before he said that he loved me but then he took it back," I said, pulling a pack of tissues out of my purse. "He just took it back. Just like that. And he said the meanest things. About how we weren't right for each other. And that I had to go through him to get to you. And that you and I…" I broke off, falling over my lap, "we were the ones that _matched_."

"Shit," Jeff exhaled, rubbing my back. "Oh, Jesus, Annie, I'm so sorry. Look, I… I'm sure he didn't mean it."

"He's Abed, Jeff! He _always_ says what he means."

"Not always. Half the time he's pretending to be somebody else. And he was upset, right? He obviously wasn't thinking clearly."

"I don't know about that," I wondered. "I'm beginning to doubt everything. Nothing feels real anymore. Nothing feels right…"

"Annie, it's gonna be okay. You know it's gonna be okay. And you didn't do anything wrong. This is all _my_ fault."

"No, it's not," I protested, sitting up. "It's not and Abed knows it. He knew it before I even finished talking. And Troy knows it, too. And they can't stand me, Jeff. And by this time tomorrow the rest of the group won't either. It's sad but… you may be the only friend I have left," I admitted, looking at him tentatively.

I don't know what Jeff saw in my face just then, but it seemed to alarm him.

"I need a drink," he said, getting up.

"Good," I murmured. "Get me one, too."

"You have water."

"I don't want water. I want whatever you're having."

Jeff paused mid-pour. "No, you don't."

My eyes narrowed and I glared at him. "Still treating me like a kid, aren't you? Even after all of _this_."

"Hey, you want a scotch, you can have a scotch," Jeff snapped. "But it's not gonna make it any better, Annie. It's not gonna numb shit, all right?"

"Why don't you let me be the judge of that?" I countered, walking over and stealing the bottle from him. I poured myself a healthy dose in the spare tumbler. I brought the glass of amber-colored liquid to my lips and drank with forced enthusiasm, feeling a burning heat scorch my throat and level out all across the lining of my stomach. It made me gag within seconds, and I nearly swooned over my feet. Jeff was watching me with raised eyebrows as I collected myself, sputtering to a stand.

"Well?" he asked, taking a generous sip of his own drink.

"Well what?"

"Do you feel any better?"

"Not really." I wriggled my toes inside of my shoe and noticed that they'd grown fat and lazy. "But I don't feel any worse…"

"Good to know." Jeff went back to the couch and I followed him stupidly, feeling like a lost puppy as I did so.

He leaned back against the cushions, looking decidedly miserable. It was good, I thought. Not only because he deserved it, but because it mirrored my mood.

_Misery loves company…_

No sooner had I finished putting my glass on the table than I slid towards him. He must've been expecting something along those lines because his reflex was to shove me away.

"Don't," Jeff warned me.

"Don't what?" I asked, resisting the push as my fingers brushed the back of his neck.

"Don't do this, Annie. You're emotional right now. You really don't want to do this."

"Stop telling me what to do, Jeff. It's too late for that. And even if it wasn't I don't exactly trust your judgment."

"Yeah, well, neither do I," he ground out, his disgust towards me palpable. "But I'm telling you this isn't going to fix anything. It's only gonna make it worse."

"Everything's already broken anyways," I told him. "Everything was broken to begin with…"

"That isn't true. You love him, Annie. I can tell that you do."

"And what do you know about love?" I said, blinking back tears. "When have you ever loved anybody but yourself?"

"That's not fair," Jeff swallowed, and I could see that my words had dealt a heavy blow. "I care about Abed, Annie. I do. And even though I may've lost his friendship he's not about to lose mine."

"Oh, well, look at you," I said scathingly. My voice had turned nasty and sounded nothing like my own. "Such a big man. No _noble_ all of the sudden. Whatever happened to my being more than a friend to you, huh? Whatever happened to 'I can't stop thinking about you'? What—did you make those things up on the spot just to screw with my head? Or were you leading me on simply because you always want to be wanted?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Jeff exclaimed, moving towards the opposite end of the couch. "How can you think something like that about me? I was never screwing with you. I wasn't trying to lead you on!"

"But you don't want me anymore," I accused him, sobbing. "I can tell. Now that I'm actually available and finally here you don't want me. It's like I repulse you!"

"You don't repulse me!" Jeff's voice was shaking as he gaped at me in disbelief. "You could never repulse me, Annie. It's the situation that's sick, not you. _Never _you…"

"But you don't love me. And Abed said that you would. He said that you wouldn't take me for granted now. He said that we were meant to be!"

"Abed was off his rocker, Annie! You think he knows what I'm thinking? He doesn't. And clearly you don't either if you think I wouldn't want you. You're amazing, you know that? You're young and beautiful and smart—"

I emitted a sharp cry. Hearing Abed's words from Jeff's mouth was so painful it was all I could do not to scream.

"Ah, God, Annie, what do you want me to do?" Jeff stammered, panicking. "Should I call Shirley? Britta?"

"No." I picked up some fresh kleenex and cleaned my face, drawing on what little composure I had left. "No, that's not what I want. I don't need them right now. I need you."

"And I'm here." Jeff slid close again and wrapped an arm around me. "I'm here for you, Annie. And I'm so sorry. You'll never know how sorry I am about all of this. I mean it. If I could take it all back, I would. I wouldn't have kissed you. I wouldn't have told you anything. I wouldn't have called you. I wouldn't have been such an asshole about you and Abed sleeping together. I wouldn't even have gone to your apartment that night…"

"Is that what you'd take back?" I asked, readying myself for his response. "Coming to my apartment that night? Or… or leaving it?"

Jeff froze, his answer seemingly caught somewhere between his throat and his tongue. At long last, he shrugged. "Probably both," he said gravely.

Even though my heart was pretty much torn to shreds by this point, I was surprised to feel it give a weak beat. I set my hand on Jeff's face, drinking him in. He was so gorgeous. More handsome than I'd ever seen him. There was a sort of somber vulnerability in his brilliant blue eyes that I'd never noticed before. Or maybe I just hadn't realized it until now. His face was scruffy from the late hour, but his skin around his beard was soft to the touch. I leaned in very carefully and planted a quiet kiss on his mouth.

"Annie," Jeff groaned, his palm flat on my stomach as he wedged an arm between us. "I can't do this. I really can't…"

"Jeff, you owe me," I whispered. "You owe me this, you know you do. And I just need to see for myself, you know? I have to see if it's true…"

"See if what's true?"

I closed my eyes. "Everything."

And then I kissed him again. Warmly. Passionately. And his lips opened beneath mine. He tasted of whiskey and his tongue was just as skilled as I remembered it. Sliding quietly and effortlessly inside my mouth. Enough to make a girl melt. He reached for me with both arms and his embrace felt very foreign. So different from Abed's. His body was just as lanky, but it was also bigger and harder against my own. And he smelled like three different kinds of cologne at once. All of them good. None of them in conflict. And it was so tender, the way he was kissing me. And he was so beautiful that it should've been perfect.

But it wasn't.

I drew back slowly, my lips parting from his. I eased off of his lap and stared, so at a loss for suspense that I didn't know what to say.

"Did you… feel anything?" I asked him.

Jeff laughed. Only it was dry. And it was humorless.

"I felt guilty. How about you?"

I shook my head. "I didn't feel anything," I admitted. "Nothing at all."

He frowned. "Geez, you really know how to build a guy's esteem, Annie."

"Do you love me?" I said thoughtfully.

"Wow. You're just… you're just full of questions tonight, aren't you?"

"Do you?"

Jeff studied me for a long time, as though considering it. "I don't know," he confessed after a spell. "I've been wondering that myself for weeks."

"I don't think you do." I crossed one leg over the other. "I think when you know, you know."

"Is that how it was between you and Abed?" Jeff turned towards me and draped back along the couch, resting his head on his fist tiredly.

"Yes. I knew right away. There was this… energy between us. I think I got scared though. It was so _much_," I said, smiling bleakly as I remembered the notebook. "It was almost too much for me…"

"Well, maybe that's how it was for him, too. Maybe he got scared."

"I don't think so. We were making love earlier. Before I, you know, told him. And he was so warm, Jeff. And open. And affectionate… It was our first time since the first time," I explained, chancing a glance at him and ignoring his obvious discomfort. "And it was very different. I mean it was the same—only better. A lot better. Because Abed was happy, you know? I didn't have to read him, he was just… he was radiating it. And he was always a lot of things with me but he wasn't scared… Overwhelmed maybe? Yes. That's a better word, isn't it? Abed was overwhelmed. And I was, too."

"Sounds pretty heavy," Jeff said, the comment as clumsy as his expression.

"It is," I said sadly. "Or at least, it _was_…"

He patted my arm. "You shouldn't think that way."

"Oh, it's okay. I know what I did. I fucked up. Not many people get a chance at something like this, I know it. I knew it even as it was happening. But I was so busy trying to control it that I ruined it, Jeff. I ruined it like I ruined him…"

"Annie—"

"After he left, I drove for hours. Eventually there was nowhere else to look so I just drove in circles. I finally gave up and went home, but it was like I couldn't stand to be there. I took a bath. Changed the sheets. But I couldn't sleep. So I climbed into his bed. Just to, you know, feel close to him again. But that only made it worse," I lamented, falling against Jeff and resting my head on his chest.

"He'll be back, Annie," I heard him say, his fingers encircling my limp ones. "You know he will. All of his things are there. He's gonna have to come home eventually…"

"I can't go back though," I said suddenly, looking up at him. "Troy's there now. And I can't sleep with him next to me, Jeff. He hates me."

"Troy doesn't hate you."

"But he does. He told me so."

Jeff's forehead furrowed. "I highly doubt that."

I ignored his skepticism and burrowed deeper into his side. "Troy says that I broke Abed's heart, but the truth is he broke mine. When he said what he said. I would've preferred anything else. I'd rather he call me a slut and a liar than tell me he didn't love me. It hurts so much, Jeff. It hurts worse than anything imaginable."

Jeff sighed. "I'm sorry, Annie. I'm so sorry…"

"Can I sleep here?" I asked. "Nothing else, you know—just sleep? I don't want to be alone, Jeff. And I can't go home right now."

"Of course you can sleep here."

"I'm so tired," I said, shutting my eyes. And it was last thing I remembered before everything faded to black.


	17. Take Two

_Author's Note: This chapter is segmented, (hence the title). Purely transitional, of course. Be prepared for some uber-long chapters to come. I'd like to dedicate this chapter to alyssa305 b/c she pulled on my heartstrings._

_Greetings from midnight! I've felt down all day so, since it's ready to go, I decided to post Ch 17 sooner in the hopes that it'll push me to finish Chapter 20 so I can be over & out. On a personal note, I wanted to say that I recently came to the conclusion that _Loose Ends_ will likely be my last fanfiction story. Of course, never say never, but it's for the best. I feel a bit bleak even writing this now b/c I had so many ideas for future stories & I previously was very excited about writing them but it seems I've had a change of heart so… I figured I ought to announce it here, in an A.N., so it'll feel more definite & strengthen my resolve. _

_Anyways, onto you lovely reviewers…_

_Katie Moon – Oh, hun. I never meant to make people actually sad for more than a passing second when they read my story. I figured they'd always know that I had a plan & would take comfort in the fact that I wouldn't string anybody along w/o due course. I'm sure you know it, too, but here's my encouraging reminder. / Copsical – I wouldn't be complimenting you if it wasn't warranted. I honestly do savor your reviews b/c you're a much more careful reader than most. Your prediction is absolutely right. I deliberately played w/ the cliché, which is why I gave Ch 16 that particular title, but there's actually a key element in that chapter that, again, is essential to the development & symmetry of the story. I won't say anymore as I enjoy keeping people on their toes, but I know that you're onto me, as ever. Rats! *shakes fist in air* _

_/ anon – I wouldn't say Jeff's "out of the picture". He's still an important character, but in terms of his being a viable romantic threat to Annie & Abed then, yes, I should say so. / ChaSymBy – Well, I think you'll be pleased by the end of this chapter, even if it is purely transitional. / Jem – I agree. People tend to forget that for all his naïveté, Troy is actually a very adult character. More mature than Abed, Jeff & Britta in many ways. / heRIeAnn – Haha, of course it will. Never fear about reading my story, I've had it figured out going on eight weeks now. Again, thanks for the compliments on Troy. He & Abed are my favorite characters, which is why he plays such a huge role in my story, it's not just a convenience b/c of his proxy to Annie & Abed. I love him._

_/ Elviriel – I was going for an emotional rollercoaster, but I wanted to do it in an adult way. It's often the little things that come back to bite us… the tiniest fibs that keep growing. Yes, Ch 16 was more about Jeff than anybody else. He had to see the wake of his destruction & the reader needed to see his remorse. I never set out to vilify him or anybody else, as everyone on _Community_ makes mistakes. It's what you learn from them, & Jeff I think has exhibited the most character growth on the show… which is ironic b/c he came to the pilot almost fully formed. Nobody knew Troy was going to turn from stereotypical jock to an adorable nerd w/ layers of emotional fragility. But we all knew Jeff was a smartass conman from the get-go. Then he morphed into a wonderful person—pretty much right away. But we still see him growing every episode… Oh, I have to seriously commend you on your observations about Abed & Annie. You keep catching everything I was hoping people would catch. God bless the Dreamtorium episode. It made everything fall into place._

_/ Pleasantparker79 - I'm running out of nice things to say about you. Well, you'll see soon enough whether your prediction was right but whether people are correct or not, I always enjoy reading them._ _/ Br7nn –_ _You caught me right before updating. Seriously. I was just about to post when I saw I'd nearly missed ya. Oh, I want the readers to fret over Abed along w/ Annie. You're seeing the story from her eyes so all of her worries & guesswork are fair game. In certain instances, it is easier to write this in the first person b/c I intended for the readers to be falling in love w/ Abed along w/ her. That is, if they weren't in love w/ him already. As always, your reviews are nothing short of orgasmic. Look at you, going back & sorting through my story! It really does make me feel good. Ch 4 was a fun one, wasn't it?_

**Chapter 17: Take Two**

x

"I've been out all night, looking for him, and then _her_, and I got no sleep or patience in me right now so if I go in there—"

"You _can't_ go in there, Troy. She's tired. Hell, she's exhausted! Why can't you just let her sleep?"

The voices, while muffled, were still irritatingly loud as I slowly came into consciousness. I couldn't make sense of the discussion. All I knew it that I felt sick. Very, very sick. My head was throbbing as if I'd been walloped by a sledgehammer. My eyes were glued together and my tongue was like sandpaper. And something was off, wasn't it? The smell, the texture… Why, these weren't my sheets… And this wasn't my bed!

My eyes opened at once and I looked all around me, trying to realize my surroundings. It was difficult. The room was dark. But I could tell that it wasn't mine. The bed was enormous for one thing. And the fabric was silk. The walls were bare and unadorned, with the exception of a wide flat screen mounted near the edge of the bed. I slid my hand down my stomach and was relieved to learn that I was still clothed. Fully clothed, actually. I'd slept in my jeans. Why had I slept in my jeans? And where the hell was I?

I sat up, and suddenly the voices grew louder. Angrier, too.

"Nothing happened!"

"Oh, and I'm supposed to trust _you_? I'm warning you, Jeff, if you don't get out of my way—"

"You know what, this is _my_ apartment! I didn't have to let you in here. And I really shouldn't have after what Annie told me last night."

"What did she tell you?"

"She came over here crying, Troy. She was hysterical. She said that you told her you hated her—"

"What? I never said that!"

"—_and_ that you accused of her of breaking Abed's heart. What the hell were you thinking? She doesn't deserve that, you know. She was only trying to be honest. And besides, she didn't do anything yesterday. I did!"

I closed my eyes. They were already beginning to water. I'd remembered, of course. I remembered everything. And all I wanted was to go back to sleep. To drift off and forget…

"I tried to apologize to her about that. I didn't mean to snap at her. I was just worried about Abed. And you try driving around for like three hours straight and then going home and finding out somebody _else_ is missing! And then try and understand how messed up it is that I found her here! _Here_, Jeff!"

"How many times do I have to say it? Nothing happened! You think I'm in the habit of taking advantage of jilted women?"

"Then why won't you let me see her? If nothing happened and she's in there then why can't I talk to her? What are you trying to hide?"

"Hi, Troy," I said weakly. They were so busy arguing that neither of them had noticed me opening the door.

Troy turned towards me. For an instant his face was furious but a second later all of his anger and consternation seemed to melt away. He raced over and hugged me. Hard. I hadn't been hugged so hard since I'd gotten lost at the mall when I was five years old.

"Why didn't you answer your phone?" he said, his arms tight around me.

"It's in the car," I mumbled, my head on his shoulder. "It's charging. I didn't mean to leave it there. I just forgot."

"Why weren't you at the apartment? You were still there the last time I talked to you."

"I don't know. I couldn't stay there. It was too upsetting."

Troy pulled back and took a good look at me, as though trying to ensure that I was still in one piece. I'm sure I looked a mess. I could feel that my hair was matted and my clothes were wrinkled. Also, even now, I couldn't quite open my eyes fully. And I felt so dizzy…

"Did you find Abed?" I asked him.

Troy sagged. "No," he said dejectedly. "He still hasn't turned on his cell. And I've been watching all the sites so I know he hasn't been online either. Plus, I've been a little busy trying to hunt you down…"

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay," he told me. "I'm just glad that you're safe."

I looked past him and caught sight of Jeff, hovering. He was dressed as I remembered him to be last night, only I noticed there was a woolen blanket lying on the couch behind him. I gathered that he must've slept on it and carried me to bed. It had to have been very uncomfortable, I noted. He was so tall to be sleeping on such a small sofa.

"What time is it?" I asked them.

"It's almost seven," Jeff said.

"I should be in class soon," I realized aloud. "I don't think I can go though. I don't feel so good."

"Just skip it," Troy said. "We'll go home. You can get some more sleep. Or we could go get breakfast…?"

"Breakfast," I repeated. And then my stomach began to roil.

"Which way's the bathroom?" I asked Jeff, my hand over my mouth.

He pointed and I ran. I barely made it in time to drop my head in the toilet, and the world swam around me as I vomited violently, emptying the contents of my stomach. Not that there was much to empty. All that came out was liquid and I felt so weak it was all I could do to keep my heaving in check.

Somebody had grabbed the back of my hair and was pulling it up and out of the way. I was grateful but I didn't have the ability to say so. I was too busy gasping and groaning.

"What the hell's the matter with her?" I heard Troy say.

_Troy._ Troy was holding my hair for me…

"She might've had too much to drink."

"You let her drink?" he exclaimed.

"I didn't _let_ her do anything, Troy! She's a grown woman. She makes her own decisions."

I almost smiled. I think I would've if I hadn't been feeling so ill.

"Annie, are you okay?" Troy asked, his tone gentle. "You want me to take you to the hospital?"

"I'm fine," I managed. My forehead was sweaty but Troy's hand felt so cool and reassuring on the back of my neck. And it was so nice that he was there. And I felt so much better already simply for his being kind to me.

"Here," I heard Jeff say after some footsteps. I hadn't noticed him leaving but I noticed his return.

"What's this?"

"Water and Alka Seltzer. If we can get her up and running a banana would be better."

"Shows how much you know," I said, raising my head. "Bananas are for diarrhea. Vitamin C is for the other end."

"Hmm. Seems like you're back to your usual pedantic self," Jeff commented.

"I'm a future health care professional," I told him, coming to a stand with Troy's assistance. I drank the entire glass and then lowered the toilet seat cover so that I could sit down. Despite the fizzy water, I was still feeling exceptionally queasy.

"I feel like I should drive us home," Troy said, looking down at me worriedly. "Unless you think you're good to go...?"

"Not yet," I admitted.

"Okay. Jeff, can I leave Pierce's car here? You can hold the keys. And can I leave you with Pierce's things so you can go check on him? I'd go myself but—"

"Understood," Jeff said simply, cutting him off.

I watched the two of them from where I sat. They were still eying one other warily with a sort of unspoken antagonism, but it seemed as though they'd reached a truce for the moment. I liked to think it was because of me. And I wanted to believe that they'd reach a more solid understanding as time went on…

_Better not bank on it, Annie, _I reminded myself._ Better not count on anything anymore._

"You ready?" Troy asked, taking my hand.

He pulled me a good foot away from Jeff within the first few steps. His fingers were tight around mine and I knew he was in a rush to get me the hell out of there. We were nearing the exit when Jeff caught up with us.

"Hold on," he said, dropping both my coat and my purse into my arms. "Can't forget the little things, right?"

I let go off Troy and reached up to hug Jeff. It caught both men off guard, and seemed to make each of them fairly uncomfortable. I drew back sadly and just as suddenly, wondering if this would be one of the last times I'd even see Jeff Winger. That is, outside of class and school. And I think he knew that that was the case. That I was ready to make the sacrifice, any sacrifice, if it meant I could be back with Abed again.

"Thanks for taking care of her," Troy said from behind me. I turned around, a little surprised to see that his face matched his words.

And maybe Troy knew, too. Maybe he was also saying goodbye.

Jeff shrugged, smiling sheepishly. It was a familiar expression of his. Only I think it was the first time there was no actual mirth behind it.

And then we left.

x

"Annie," Troy nudged me.

"Did you find something?" I asked, pulling the buds out of my ears. "A lead?"

I'd been lying in bed all day. First sleeping. Then calling every establishment in town and the surrounding ones. Anything that might help me track down Abed. Troy had been doing much the same. He'd gone through all of Abed's possessions, rifling for clues. He'd driven around some more. And then he'd been making quite a few calls himself. Although I told him it sounded worse to pretend to be a private investigator. A family member was much likelier to get feedback. Not that he was listening…

"He just logged onto Facebook."

"What!" I shot up excitedly. _That means he's okay,_ I thought, thanking my lucky stars. _That means he hasn't completely fallen off the grid._ "And did you talk to him? Message him, I mean."

"No. He logged out right away," he said, shaking his head. "But it got me thinking…"

Troy took a seat alongside me and pulled out a pipe from his smoking jacket. Only it wasn't an actual pipe. It was a plastic one that children used to blow bubbles in the bath.

"Troy!" I motioned exasperatedly. "Seriously?"

"It helps me think."

"It's a diversion. You spent twenty minutes putting that outfit together. Twenty minutes that would have been better spent searching."

"Look, you can make fun of me all you want, but it's called method acting, Annie. In order to play the character, you have to _be_ the character, you feel me?"

"Well, I still don't know who you're trying to be," I said, confused. "Dick Tracy or Sherlock Holmes?"

"Annie! Do you want to hear what I thought or what?"

"Okay." I nodded even though I was already rather dispirited to learn that there had been no actual communication.

"Well…" Troy started off, biting the end of his pipe pompously, "I don't think he logged in from his phone. Because I called him immediately, and his cell was still off. And he doesn't have his laptop. That's here. And since he logged out right away," he said, beginning to smile, "that would suggest that he signed on involuntarily. Like his computer was set up that way. Saved password, you know. He probably went online and it logged him in just from opening the web browser. But he wouldn't do that on a public computer or anyone else's computer. It would have to be _his _computer…"

My breath caught. My God. Troy was right. He was absolutely right!

"What other computer does he have?" I asked anxiously. "And where is it?"

"He has a desktop at his Dad's," Troy finished, wearing a shit-eating grin. "In his old room."

I jumped on him. Troy fell back from the force of my body as I squeezed him with all my might and kissed his face.

"You are a genius!" I said, pulling back and laughing. "You're a fucking genius, Troy!"

"Not really," he muttered, obviously embarrassed as the toy pipe fell from his mouth. "You guys have brains, I have common sense…"

"Let's go!" I exclaimed, throwing aside the map of Riverside County I'd been marking with little circles and annotations before Troy had come into the room. "Let's go right now."

"Wait… let's?" he questioned, unsure.

"Yes, yes, yes! Let's go! What's the matter? Don't I look all right?" I went to the mirror and checked my hair. It was true I wasn't looking my best, but it was light years from where I'd started this morning. And I could always change.

"Annie, I still don't think it's a good idea if you come…"

I whipped around in disbelief. "What?"

"I still don't think you should come."

"But… but you said you didn't mean that," I reminded him, feeling my bottom lip begin to tremble. "You promised, Troy. You _swore_ that you thought he'd forgive me…"

"And I think he will. Eventually," Troy said slowly. "But even so, I don't think we should ambush him right now. He obviously doesn't want to be found. It's better if I go."

"No," I said right away.

"Annie—"

"No, Troy! No, no, no, _no!_ I can't do it. I can't just wait here. I can't just sit still knowing that he's out there. So close!"

"Well, you're gonna have to," Troy told me, getting up and looking very serious for a man in a custard yellow smoking jacket. "It's what best for Abed, Annie. We blow this and he might not come back at all."

"But you said—"

"I know what I said. But I also know Abed. And he's not going to want to see you. There's no telling what he'll do if you just… just show up there."

"What the worst that could happen?" I argued. "There's no way he's going to be able to top last night."

Troy snorted. "You wanna try him?"

"Yes, I want to try him! Because I love him! And being away from him is driving me crazy. I need to talk to him, Troy, I just _have_ to. I have to tell him that he was wrong about us. About Jeff—"

"Don't bring up Jeff," Troy said sharply. "Don't, Annie! That'll make things so much worse."

"How do you know?"

"Because I know! This is how Abed is. He has a history of people letting him down. And he doesn't like feeling gullible so he'd rather withdraw, you know. Disengage. It's why he disappears."

"But—"

"Look, Annie, I don't care how much you think he got it wrong or how much things got blown out of proportion. The bottom line is you were his girlfriend, and Jeff was his friend. It doesn't get any worse than that. That's why he went _home_. For stability. Just let me go. He trusts me. Let me go and then I can work on bringing him back here. It's not gonna happen overnight."

"Well, how do you know that he doesn't trust me?" I blurted, and even though the question sounded insane to both sets of ears I had my reasons for asking it. "How do you know, Troy? He told me he loved me. Has he ever told you he loves you?"

Troy, who had one finger in the air and was about to deliver what I'm sure would've been a very sound rebuttal, grew quiet. "Not… not in so many words."

"He told me he felt things with me," I went on. "Things he never felt with anybody else…"

Troy ducked his head for a moment, whether from discomfort or to give my words some deep thought, I wasn't sure. Finally he looked up at me, unconvinced. "He doesn't want to _feel_ anything right now, Annie. He just wants to escape."

"That's what he wants, yeah, but that's not what he _needs_. He needs me. I know he does. Because I need him."

I made the statement with an air of confidence I didn't truly possess. A part of me was scared that Troy was right. That Abed would take one look at me and prove to vanish altogether. I knew it was risky business. I was well aware that much more than my relationship was at stake. But that was my head talking. That was my self doubt. And my heart was saying that Abed would be there when I sought him out. And that I could reach him. My heart was telling me to double down on all of my chips and play to win.

_And I'm right, aren't I_? I thought. _I have to be right about this…_

"What if I tell you no?" Troy said, frowning at me. "What if say that I'm going, you're not, and that's that?"

"I'll follow you," I said without a moment's hesitation. "You can't talk me out of this, Troy. And you can't tell me what to do. I love him. I love him and I'm not going to let him slip through my fingers like this. He's mine. He's mine and he needs to know that I'm his, too."

Troy sighed. "Get your coat."

"What?" I asked. I'd so imagined the next words out of his mouth being "hell" and "no".

"Just get it," he gestured. "You wanted to go together, we'll go together. My car this time."

"Oh," I breathed, not quite believing his aboutface. "Okay!" I pulled open the door of my closet and scanned left to right. Which outfit was the most flattering?

"Annie, hurry up. We don't know how long he's gonna be there for. It's not a sure thing, you know."

"Well, aren't you going to change?" I asked, turning to appraise him.

"Change?" Troy repeated, looking down at himself. "Why would I change?"

I opened my mouth. There was so much to say. The worn brown fedora. The ugly magenta tie. The black city slicker boots and the Columbo-colored khakis. But… then again, Troy Barnes was so handsome he managed to look surprising endearing in such an ensemble. And there wasn't anything he was wearing that was going to faze Abed. If anything, it might actually serve to comfort him a little.

I walked over and kissed Troy's cheek. "Bring the pipe," I told him.

"Why?"

I smiled with as much hope as I could muster. "It's our good luck charm."


	18. Bait and Switch

_Author's Note: Good morning! I have a full weekend so here's your early update extra early. I hope this isn't starting to feel like Community's 3-part finale where I'm just dumping on y'all. But seeing as how Chapters 16-18 have been sitting around gathering dust, here you are. No point making you wait when I promised once I was close to finished w/ the whole story I'd update much faster. Anyways, this chapter is dedicated to Ksentos & Greytune for keeping me sane, & to Yonderly—my favorite fanfic writer, who just told me I was one of her favs, & who made me squeal w/ fangirl glee. Thanks, guys._

_Anonymi: Mae – Y'know, I wasn't into the idea of Troy & Britta initially, which is odd b/c I identify a lot w/ Britta the character & I am personally in love w/ Donald Glover. But they won me over very quickly this season. Their dynamic is redunkulously cute. Note: Go read Marrrrrr's stuff for a cut of the T-bone steak. / Elviriel – You can hug him, but you have to get in line behind me! God, your observations are always so spot on, you know that? And of course, you get to see Abed's dad. I foreshadowed that in Ch 10. Again, nothing w/o reason. / anon – I love you, too. / Katie Moon – I have complete faith in your awesomeness. / Br7nn – Hey, if an idiom still works, use it! Actually, Annie did listen to Troy, albeit too closely b/c she just took his advice to an extreme. Ironically, she hurt Abed by trying to keep from hurting him. / Anon – My mind is blown & my heart is full at the thought of you reading all my work at once. Thank you. I have noticed serious spikes in my hit counts in recent weeks. I thought people were just rereading but maybe they're discovering it. Fancy that. / pleasantparker79 – Thank you so much. You always say the most "pleasant" things & they genuinely do make my day._

**Chapter 18: Bait and Switch**

x

We rang the doorbell four times in the space of thirty seconds. Actually, three out of the four were due to my finger before Troy seized my hand. I hadn't meant to get so trigger happy but it seemed my nerves were already getting the better of me.

"We don't want no cookies, we don't need no magazines, and we don't want to join the Church of Mormon or any of that business," a heavily accented voice called from inside the house, growing louder until the door was jerked open.

"Oh, we're not from the Mormon Church," Troy said. "But we would actually like to talk to you about the true calling. And subscriptions to _The Watchtower_ are completely complementary and—"

"Troy!" I elbowed him.

"Err, sorry," he said, blinking a little confusedly and holding his side. "Jehovah's Witness reflex…"

"Troy, what is the meaning of this?" Gubi Nadir asked, looking down at the two of us imperiously from his high step on the porch. "It is past suppertime, you know. I want to watch my Comedy Central."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Nadir. It's just that we know that Abed is here."

"Do you see his car in the driveway?"

"No, but—"

"Well then he's not here," Gubi interrupted, annoyed. "I told you that last night, too."

"I know you did, but—"

"Are you calling me a liar?"

"No," Troy sputtered, already sounding ten years younger. "But I was on Facebook and I saw Abed log on and…" He pulled the pipe out of his pocket, readying to demonstrate.

"Hello, Mr. Nadir," I interrupted, thrusting my hand forward. "We've never met. I'm Annie Edison."

He accepted my handshake but didn't stop glowering. "And this name is supposed to mean something to me why?"

"I'm Abed's…" I paused for a second to see Troy shake his head ever so slightly, "…friend. And I'm concerned about him. We both are."

"Abed is fine."

"So you've seen him," I said eagerly.

Gubi blinked, and it was obvious to me that he had. My face must've illustrated my unfettered joy at this discovery because Gubi cocked his head, peering at me in a way that reminded me shockingly of his son. "You are sneaky," he said.

My smile fell. "Sneaky?" That really wasn't the first impression I'd wanted to make when I finally met Abed's father.

"Yes, sneaky. A clever girl," he drawled, his eyes sliding to Troy. "This one, not so much."

Troy put his pipe away, looking disheartened. I reached between us and gave his forearm a reassuring squeeze. "Troy was actually the one who figured out that Abed was here," I said. "He knows him so well, Mr. Nadir. And you know how they are together. You have to let us see him. He took off last night and didn't tell anybody where he was going. We've been worried sick. And if he's acting anything like he was yesterday I'll bet you've been a little worried, too."

Gubi shifted to the left, leaning against the door frame. "He is acting very strange," he murmured thoughtfully. "He's not eating. Hardly left his room…"

My stomach twisted. "Please," I said, knowing that my voice was moments from breaking. "Please let us see him. Something happened. A… a misunderstanding. And Abed's feelings got hurt. That's why he ran away, you see. That's why he came here."

"A misunderstanding?" Gubi repeated suspiciously. "What kind of misunderstanding?"

"He thought one of us was lying to him," Troy pitched in. "About something… important, I guess. But it wasn't a real lie. It was just sort of confusing, you know?"

"And which one of you lied to him?" Gubi crossed his arms over his chest. "He's a sensitive boy, you know. He believes everything you tell him."

"I know that," I said, reaching into my jacket pocket. "We know that, Mr. Nadir. And we're so sorry. _I'm_ so sorry," I clarified, bringing up a wad of tissues to dab my tears. "I feel so guilty. I never meant to hurt him. And I just need the chance to explain that it was all wrong. That _I_ was wrong…"

Gubi looked at my eyes for a moment, and I saw at once that they hadn't failed me. He softened and stepped back, making way for us to come in. Troy gave me a glance of incredulity and exultation as we walked into the house, following Abed's father down the entryway. We were standing in the living room when Gubi paused at the start of the stairs.

"He told me he didn't want to see anyone," he said, as though he was rethinking it. "That he needed to focus. On a film project for school…"

"You didn't believe him though, did you?" Troy asked.

"No. He hasn't got his camera. And he's been watching movies, not making them. But I wasn't supposed to tell anyone he was here. Under no circumstances…" he trailed off, looking at us warily. "If I ask him to come down, he won't. I know my son. It's not often he makes his mind up but when he does he's just like his mother."

"What if you told him that it was just Troy?" I suggested. "Do you think he'd come down for Troy?"

"He didn't last night," Gubi said. "And he knew he was here. Told me so before I even opened the door. That's why I said he wasn't home."

Troy winced, obviously hurt.

"Well, maybe we should just go up then," I said, growing desperate. "Go up and go in together…"

"Xay-nay the on bush-am-pay," Troy muttered.

"What?" I turned my head. "That's not Pig Latin. That's just gibberish."

"I can knock on the door and tell him you're here," Gubi said decidedly. "That's all I can do. If he says no then I'll have to respect his wishes and ask you to leave."

Troy and I looked at one other. We knew it was take it or leave it. And I was beginning to feel very imprudent for having insisted on coming in the first place.

"Can't we go up though?" I asked, ignoring all of my reservations. "Wait outside the door? It might be better if we were closer, you know? More difficult for him to refuse?"

I could hardly restrain myself. Abed was so close. So unbearably close and all I wanted to do was push his father to the side and run up those stairs like a madwoman. I tried to keep the fact that I was moments away from imploding under lock and key as I fixed Gubi Nadir with another pleading gaze. Eyes open, lashes fluttering… every weapon at my disposal. This time it took a bit longer to see if I was getting results, but when Gubi's stern brow gave way, I felt a small part of me relax. And I think I felt Troy relax, too.

"I will ask," Gubi said at last. "But… no guarantees."

I nodded eagerly, not trusting myself to speak. Gubi started up the stairs and Troy and I trotted after him, trying not to make the steps squeak.

"Someday you're gonna have to teach me how to do that," Troy whispered into my ear.

"Shh!" I hissed back, already nervous enough as it was.

We reached the upstairs corridor and Troy and I laid back a good six feet as Gubi walked across the hall and knocked on the first door to the right, saying something in Arabic. It took a few seconds for there to be a response, but the moment I heard Abed's voice my heart nearly leapt out of my chest. It didn't matter that I didn't understand what he was saying. All that mattered was that he was there.

And so close. So _unbearably_ close…

Gubi said something else and once again Abed spoke back. Only he sounded a little different now. More agitated.

_Agitated is good_, I tried to calm myself. _Agitated is better than zombie or game show host…_

And then Gubi said something I did understand, "Troy and Annie."

The door swung open. I had my hand on Troy's arm and was clutching it tight as Abed looked at the two of us, his expression blank and unfeeling. "What are you doing here?" he asked simply.

This was it. This was my moment. But now that it had arrived I found I couldn't speak.

Troy spoke for me. "We were worried about you, man. You disappeared. You haven't been answering your phone—"

"I wanted to be alone," Abed interrupted. "And you knew that, Troy. You must've known that and you still brought _her_ here."

Troy seemed to shrink and I had to swallow the knot in my throat. "Abed—" I began in a near whisper.

"You know we broke up, right?" Abed said. And even though he was asking Troy, I couldn't help but feel that the question was directed towards me. Gubi seemed to start at Abed's words and my cheeks burned when I realized his surprise.

Oh, God. This really, _really_ wasn't the first impression I wanted to make…

"Yeah, I… I know," Troy said sheepishly.

"So what's the point?" Abed asked, shrugging his shoulders. "What's the point of any of it? It's done. I want to be alone. I'll come and collect my things later this week. That is, unless Annie wants to move out instead…?"

The flush that had started in my face quickly moved to engulf my entire body. Gubi was staring at me now with equal notes of wonder and disapproval and I just couldn't believe… couldn't _stand_ that Abed had revealed the fact that we were living together. Just like that. Without even consulting me first. How the hell was I supposed to recoup any likability points now? How was I ever to win his father over?

"I am not moving out!" I exclaimed, my anger giving me the momentum that I needed to make my voice carry. "You can't make me leave."

"Okay then," Abed said placidly, redirecting his focus to me. "I'll leave. I already got a head start so it's no problem."

"Yes, it's a problem. It's a big problem, Abed!"

"Not for me."

"Well, it is for me! And you and I did not break up. We just… we had a fight."

"That wasn't a fight. It was a discussion. A revelation really. And it's okay. It was mutual, wasn't it? No hard feelings." Abed looked past me and spoke to Troy. "You can take her home now. I'll call you."

He turned his back on us and something snapped. I surged past Troy and Gubi and ran into Abed's bedroom, slamming the door behind us. Abed's eyes rounded, looking somewhat surprised but otherwise unaffected as I put the back of my body to the door and reached for the knob, finding a small button on its fastening that clicked and locked.

"You really shouldn't have done that," he told me.

"Why not?"

"It was impetuous. Dad hates impetuous women."

"And why would you care what your father thinks of me?" I challenged him.

"I don't," Abed said. "But you clearly do. Your face is red."

"You did that on purpose," I accused him.

"Did what?"

"Told him about me. About _us_. I know you did. You were trying to embarrass me."

"No, I wasn't." Abed moved away from me and went to the window, sliding its pane to a seal. "It's a little cold in here, don't you think? Sorry about the mess. I wasn't expecting company…"

"Abed!"

"Yeah?" He faced me.

"What are you doing? Talk to me!"

"There's nothing to say. Everything that should've been said was said last night. And I think we did a good job of wrapping things up, didn't we? At least I don't think we left anything out."

"We didn't do anything!" I shouted. "_You_ went completely psycho on me. You started in with all your TV crap and didn't let me get a word in edgewise. And the things you said to me were so warped, Abed. Don't think I don't know what you were doing. I know you better than you think!"

"Hey, Annie," I heard Troy call from the hallway. "We're gonna go downstairs but… but you might want to bring it down a little."

"He's right, you know," Abed said.

_God give me strength._

"You be quiet!" I snapped back.

"Thought you wanted to talk."

"Don't get smart with me, Abed. I have had the worst day of my _life_ trying to track you down. You had me praying, you know that? You had me calling every movie theater, every malt shop, every fucking… comic book store on the planet!"

"Why were you so concerned?" Abed asked mildly. "What did you think I was gonna do, throw myself off a bridge? I told you that things were fine. And I'm fine, too, as you can see."

"No, you aren't. You're clearly _not _fine, Abed!"

"Sure I am."

"No, you're not. And this is why I was so concerned." I walked over to him, closing the gap between us. "This is why I was so freaked out. The things you were saying last night… about me, about us…they were so ugly that I know you don't believe them. I just know you don't!"

I searched his face, looking for some sign of connection. Some remnant of emotion. But I couldn't see it. And when my hand shot out to touch him, Abed caught it before it landed. "Annie," he said seriously, his fingers stiff as he lowered my arm, "it's over. You know it's over."

"But I know you don't believe that—"

"Annie," he repeated, a little colder this time. "I meant every word I said."

I wrested away from him, taking a few steps back and averting my gaze. The urge to collapse was so strong it had my ankles rolling over my feet. And I was so tired. So exhausted from the past twenty-some hours that I truly wanted to give up. Just turn around and walk away…

"Oh, really?" I said after a few seconds, my voice watery as I forced myself to look back up. "So that's it then?"

"That's it."

"You don't feel… anything for me anymore?"

"No."

"So…" I licked my lips, "so I guess it wouldn't matter to you if I'd… if I took your advice then?"

He managed to raise a brow and still look disinterested. "My advice about what?"

I took a deep breath and steadied myself. "About Jeff."

The instant I said the name something changed. I could see it. Abed's whole body seemed to tighten and I could hear Troy's words echoing in my ears.

_Don't bring up Jeff_, he'd told me. _That'll make things so much worse…_

"So I guess it wouldn't matter that I took your advice and went to him last night. Late last night. After you left."

Abed glared at me. "Stop it."

"I was really upset," I went on, my words quavering as I pushed myself to continue. "About you. About you leaving me. Kind of ironic, isn't it? Sort of like us. The way we got started. Anyways, Jeff was there, of course. _He_ was there for me..."

"You're lying," Abed said, and I heard his breathing sharpen along with his tone.

"I'm not lying." I shook my head. "I was there. At his apartment. Crying about you. And he was ready for me, Abed. He offered me a drink. Told me he wanted me. He said all of the things you told me he'd say. He said I was amazing. He told me that I'm beautiful and then he—"

"Get out!"

I almost flinched. And had it been anyone but Abed speaking to me that way I would've followed their orders. But it wasn't. And I couldn't. So I held my ground.

"And then he kissed me," I finished. "He kissed me and I spent the night in his bed."

Abed lurched. He trembled violently and his eyes closed, no, _squeezed_ shut. He spun away from me, bringing both hands to his face as I watched his back bend and his head drop. And then his legs gave. His whole body seemed to snap and fold as though it was in slow motion. And then he fell. He just fell. On his knees. To the floor. Sandwiched between the furniture and the side of his bed. And I could hear him crying. Worse than crying. I could hear him positively sobbing from where I stood.

"Abed!"

"Just go," he rasped out.

"Abed, I—"

"Just _leave_, Annie! Just go. Go, go, go, go, go! I don't want you here! I can't take you here! I don't ever want to see you again—just _go_!"

I dropped, too. I crawled to him. I put my hand on his shoulder and he shook me off like I was poison.

"Abed, I didn't—"

"How could you do this to me?"

"I _didn't_—"

"How, Annie?" He moved to look at me, and I'd never seen anyone so miserable in my entire life. "Why did you even come here tonight? To let me know? To rub it in my face? I told you it was okay! I was just going to let you have him. I was planning on staying away. Why couldn't you have left me alone, too? Why'd you have to come here and do it _all over again!_"

"Abed, I didn't!" I burst out, the tears in my eyes blurring my vision. "I didn't sleep with Jeff. I went over there to talk. _Talk_, that's all! I was so depressed about what you'd said. How you'd left. And it seemed like Troy didn't want to speak to me either. But nothing actually happened! It wouldn't have… even if I had wanted Jeff like you said. And I don't, Abed. I want _you_. I love you! I love you so—"

"No, you don't!" he shouted, grabbing hold of the bed and struggling to a stand. "You don't love me. If you loved me you never would've done what you did!"

"But I didn't—" I tried to rise, too.

"Not that." He waved his arm, cutting the air atop my head. "You _waited_, Annie! You waited until after we'd had sex. You waited until after I told that I loved you! You waited and waited for weeks and you _humiliated_ me!"

"I'm sorry!" I said, reeling with remorse as I crumpled back to the floor. "Oh, God, I'm _so_ sorry, Abed! I never meant to lie. I never meant to hurt you. And I was going to tell you about the kiss first thing when I got home! I was going to talk to you about everything. I tried, I… I started but I just got so scared. It just had been building up for weeks. And then when you kissed me, I felt… I couldn't—"

"So it's _my_ fault?" he interjected, looking next to enraged.

"Of course it's not your fault! It's all my fault, I know that. I was just so afraid of losing you. This Jeff thing, you have to understand, it was always in the background. And I thought he was just working things out—you know, like you said. And I know I should've talked to you about it. I know I should've told you I felt like something was up. But I was confused, too. You and me… it was so much what I wanted that I think a part of me figured it was too good to be true. And I didn't want to test it, Abed. I didn't want to risk what we had!"

"What was the risk?" he demanded, lifting his arms. "What other risk could there be besides the fact that you love Jeff?"

"I don't!"

"You _do_!"

"No, I don't! If I loved Jeff I wouldn't be here right now! If I loved Jeff I wouldn't be begging, Abed. And I'm begging you—look at me," I breathed, finally climbing to my feet. He turned his head at once but I cupped it with both hands. "Please look at me. You know me. You can read me so well. You know that I love you. You knew it last night. You didn't just hear me say it, you _felt_ it. And I feel it, too, Abed. I feel things with you. Things I've never felt for anybody else…"

He set his hands on mine and dragged them down and away. "Don't—"

"You _know _me!" I twisted my fingers and tied them to his, my nails digging into his palms. "You know that these past six weeks haven't been an illusion. You know that I'm a good person. You told me so. And you also know that I loved you as a friend long before we were anything else. And I'm sorry that I hurt you and I'm sorry that I fucked up but I'm _human,_ Abed! I'm not perfect! I'm not some character or some glamorous leading lady who does everything right. And you're not some awkward outcast who everyone pities! You're Abed. You're everything that I want. You're the only person I've ever been in love with and you… you told me that you didn't love me," I choked out, shuddering.

Abed's fingers flexed against mine and I pulled away, unable to look at him any longer as I lost it. My composure. My control. Everything just evaporated the instant I remembered what he said.

"You stood there," I said brokenly, "you just stood there and watched me while you invalidated our entire relationship! To say that it was just a farce? Just theater? Going through the motions, accusing me of using you to get to Jeff—I swear to God it's like you broke me in half! And _that_ was humiliating, you know that? That was horrible! How could you have said what you said? How could you have told me to go to Jeff and just... just thrown me away!"

"I'm sorry," Abed said, and I was in such hell reliving the moment I almost didn't hear his straggling breaths. I almost didn't feel our bodies realigning as he wrapped his arms around me.

"You said it wasn't real. You said none of it was real! And then you did it again! I wasn't exaggerating when I said this was the worst day of my life. I couldn't sleep last night, Abed. I almost had a nervous breakdown. And I spent all day looking for you, trying to convince myself that there was a chance you might take me back and then I come here and you say you don't feel _anything!_"

"I didn't mean it." His hand slid tremulously up my back as he held me tighter. "I didn't mean any of that, Annie. I just… I just thought it was what you wanted…"

"But how could I have wanted _that_?" I gasped.

"Not wanted, needed. I thought it was what you needed to let me go. And I knew you were gonna go to him anyways. It was the only thing that made sense, given the parameters we'd established, given your personality traits and history... And it didn't matter that you had feelings for me, because I knew that you'd love him more in the end. Because those are the _rules_, Annie," he said fixedly, sagging against me. "Don't you see? You and Jeff belong together. You and I don't. It's antithesis and synthesis. It's simple logic really."

"How is it logic?" I asked, tearing my head away. "And what rules are you talking about, Abed? What parameters? You have to stop doing that. I'm going to lose it if you start talking that way again!"

"Annie, all I have are my data," he told me, looking down at me helplessly. "All I have are my thoughts and observations. I don't have what other people have. Instinct and intuition—those things are like nuclear physics to me. And if I didn't use what I have then I'd never be able to figure things out for myself. You don't understand what it's like. I _need_ calculations in order to get by…"

"But Abed, everybody does!" I cried out, grasping at him. "You think you're special? You're not! We all navigate through life that way. This road or that road. General risk assessment or… or whatever. But those weren't calculations you were spouting at me last night. Those were absurdities!"

"No, they weren't," Abed argued, shaking his head. "They were realities. Just because I relate things through the lens of television doesn't make them any less true. You think I wasn't afraid of losing you, too? I told you I was. But unlike you I actually had good reason to be. We're different, Annie," he said, his arms sliding off me. "We're different and we'll always be different."

"Well, how is that a bad thing? _You_ said that we complement each other. You said that I ground you and that—"

"But Annie, it's not that easy," he cut me off. "I wanted to believe it was, but it's not. And I wanted to change for you. I would and… and I've been trying but I'm still going to be me. There's only so much I can help."

"What the hell are you talking about?" I exclaimed, unable to make sense of his rambling. "I never asked you to change for me, Abed. Never!"

"Not directly," he said gravely, "but you have your expectations. They're not unreasonable. And yes, they're small now, but they're only going to get bigger. You don't have the foresight, Annie, but… the way you feel about me now?—that's not going to last. And I'm never going to be able to maintain a long term relationship; people get fed up with me. So it's really better that we stop now, isn't it? It's better that we cut our losses before we risk anything more than we already have."

Abed's hands slackened as he finished speaking and he looked at me wearily. And it such a stark contrast to the night before. His face was open now. His eyes were clear. And he was so unmistakably in earnest it was as if the shards of my heart came together just to break apart all over again.

_So this is how he feels then? _I realized. _This is what he expects of me?_

"Abed, I… I love that you're different," I said quietly. "I love it even when it's a challenge. I love it because it's you. And it's not just that I find those aspects of your personality cute or amusing or even gratifying in some sort of short-lived or… or superficial way. I _love_ it, don't you get that? And I don't want ordinary, you know? I don't want boring."

"Jeff isn't boring."

I groaned through my tears. "Oh, Abed…"

"He isn't. He's exciting, Annie. It's what drew you to him in the first place. And he's a challenge, too, isn't he?"

"Stop it. Please stop talking about him. This has nothing to do with Jeff!"

"It has everything to do with Jeff," Abed insisted. "Maybe you don't see it yet. Maybe you're still in denial about your feelings for him. But you two are compatible, Annie."

"How are we compatible?" I said. "We're _nothing_ alike! Jeff and I have far less in common than you and me."

"But that's _why_ you're compatible," Abed said, his voice livening to rapid fire precision. "He's carefree, you're straight-laced. He's crafty, you're guileless. He's older, you're younger. He's self-interested, you're selfless—need I go on? You two were made for each other, Annie. And you bring out the best in Jeff, don't you? You always have."

"So this is your theory then?" I asked, unable to believe how ludicrous he was behaving. "Opposites attract? Yin-yang, mix-match—this is your grand _science_, Abed?"

"You're just skeptical because you haven't seen the figures."

"I don't need to see the figures! I know what I feel. I want you!"

"We won't last," he said starkly, his eyes lowering. "We can't and we won't. And by virtually every determinant I've factored in, you and Jeff have what it takes. And even though I know you'll want to stay with me out of guilt or obligation Jeff is really much more your speed…"

"My _speed_?" I repeated, furious. "So you're going to disregard everything that's happened between us, all of the things that are good, because you think Jeff is much more my speed? What the hell is wrong with you, Abed? Do you _want_ me to be with him? Would seeing that make you happy?"

"Obviously not," he replied, ruffling ever so slightly. "But I can't fight the way things are. You and Jeff were always going to find each other eventually, Annie. I was just getting in the way."

"Nothing could be further from the truth," I swore. "Nothing! How can you think something like that about yourself? How can you just give up on us so quickly?"

"Because I'm your second choice," he said tiredly. "I was your second choice from the very beginning, remember?"

"No, you weren't!" I exclaimed, horrified.

"Annie, please."

"You _weren't_, Abed! Sometimes things are not about choices. Sometimes things just happen because… because they were destined to happen. Sometimes things are just fated, you know?"

"Spoken like a true romantic," he said cynically.

"I don't care if you don't believe me," I bit back. "I don't care how naïve it sounds because I _know_ what I felt that night, Abed. And it was different. Different and better than with anybody else. And it wasn't just physical, was it? Are you really gonna stand there again and tell me that you didn't feel it, too?"

I stared at him. Hard. I stared at him and I saw the love there. I saw it even though he was trying to suppress it by not speaking or moving. Little did he know his reticence was all I needed. Little did he know that the fact that he wasn't reacting told me everything I wanted to hear.

"Abed," I breathed, reaching up and pulling his head towards mine, "listen to me and listen to me carefully. I. Don't. Want. Jeff. If I wanted Jeff I could have him. Nevermind the fact that I know he doesn't love me either, I could just… just go there right now. Make my demands. I know he feels bad enough about all of this that if you kept on rejecting me he'd date me just to make us both feel better. But I don't love him. I love _you_. And the thought of being without you, the idea that you were gone forever, it… it nearly killed me. And that's what I told him, you know? That's all we talked about. And if you're scared about me leaving you or his being a threat then I never have to see him again. If that's what you want and that's what you need to get over this then I don't care. All I want is to be with you…"

Abed's eyes were closed and his hands were bunching at the fabric on my back. He was shaking. We both were. And I felt I almost had him. I pressed my face against his chest to wipe it dry and then lifted my chin, rising up to kiss him. The moment my lips touched his, however, he broke away.

"I can't," he said, ignoring my immediate cry of despair as he let go of me. "I can't. I can't, I can't, I just can't…"

"But why?"

"Because I can't handle it! It's like I can't control anything anymore. I've spent my whole life wanting to relate but _this_…" he motioned, at a loss for words. "I don't like the way that it feels. It _hurts_, Annie. It hurts just looking at you…"

"But it doesn't always hurt," I said frantically. "It didn't always, did it? Most of the time it feels good. Better than good—it feels right. And I think the only reason it's painful right now is because we're not together. But nothing's actually broken between us, has it? It's not too late…?"

I left the statement open-ended, hoping that Abed would have something to contribute. To agree with, even. But he was still looking very much conflicted as I pulled at my neckline and began to unbutton my coat. I threw it to the floor and was tugging my shirt up as well when Abed stopped me.

"Don't," he told me. And he almost sounded angry again.

"Why not?"

"It's cheap."

"No, it isn't," I said, taking little offense to the words. "Not between you and me. Nothing's ever been cheap between you and me, Abed."

I set my right hand on his chest and my left on his face, feeling him beat and breathe in response to my touch. I knew that his heart was telling him one thing and his head was telling him another. And I wanted to explain to him that that was normal. Something I experienced on a daily basis. But I knew it wouldn't comfort him any. Being out of harmony that way, out of sync, it was something you never quite got used to...

"If you could go back," I murmured, "to the night it all started. To the first time we even realized that we were good together… Say you actually did have a time machine, and it did work… would you use it, Abed? Use it to go back to the way things were? We'd still be roommates, of course. And we'd always be friends. But there would've been none of this. And you and I would never have gotten to know one other as more… would you make that trade? Because I wouldn't," I said before he could answer. "I'd rather have known you and fallen in love with you than to never have discovered you at all."

Abed's heart seemed to skip at my words. And I was just beginning to feel that little bud of warmth unfurling when he said, "That's a good line."

I stepped back, disbelieving. So outraged that I might've slapped him all over again.

"That wasn't a line," I said fiercely. "This isn't a movie, Abed!"

He smiled sadly. "I know that, Annie."

I looked at him and he looked at me. And he was right. It did hurt. It hurt so much. My heart was shriveling up inside of my chest and I felt so defeated as I bent down and scooped up my coat, gathering it under my arm. This was it then. It was over. And now there was nothing more to do than pick up the pieces and go home. I tried to keep from crying too conspicuously as I made to leave. I still had some pride, after all. And no doubt I'd have to find a bathroom before I'd even be presentable enough to show myself downstairs.

But how was I going to face them now? I wondered. Abed's father and his best friend. What was I even going to tell them in the wake of all the screaming and hysterics that had gone on here?

_Sorry I broke Abed but… if it makes you feel any better, he broke me, too?_

I'd just reached the door when Abed stepped up behind me, covering my hand with his own before I could twist the knob.

"What is it?" I asked, not trusting myself to look over my shoulder. To even feel the treacherous hope that was already rekindling inside of me.

"You can't go."

I bit my lip. "Why not?"

Abed set his hands on my shoulders and spun me around. "Because this is my cue."


	19. A Whole Lotta Comfort Food

_Author's Note: You know the dealio. Rated "M" for mature themes. Feel free to skip, Prudy McPrudersons. Again, there's a synopsis next chapter. _

_Anyways, I hope you guys like it b/c it took quite a while to write—longer than any other chapter thus far. Critical fight scenes write themselves but certain other things take me longer. I wrote maybe the first twelve pages before I began having relationship problems (early May) & other twelve pages afterwards (early-to-mid June) so perhaps there was a distraction there… Granted, I was working on back-editing (& publishing) Chapters 11 & up in between to ensure continuity & narrative flow. So when I finally came back to Ch 19 w/ my undivided attention it wasn't so hard anymore. Boo-yah!_

_Anonymi: Isabella – I haven't seen _Thor _yet but the fact that you've quoted it makes me like you even more than I already did. (I'm sure if I'd seen it I'd be quoting it all the time as I love quoting film & television… so Abed.) I did see _Snow White & The Huntsman_ though & I liked The Huntsman even though the film was kinda blah. / Katie Moon – Oh, I've been pretending to hug you all along. Oh, dear. Does that sound pervy? I mean it's not like I go to bed every night w/ a Katie Moon-shaped pillow. Yee gahds—I'm making it worse! / anon – Best review ever! / Elviriel – See now I thought that you were a gift from the gods. You always leave nicely drawn, well thought out reviews & your handle is quite ethereal-sounding. Elviriel… I'll bet you're one of Tolkien's elves. You're so right. Both Annie & Abed are chalk full of insecurities. Neither had the easiest time growing up & both had to develop serious defense mechanisms in order to get by. But it's the ways they're alike that make me believe they have what it takes. / Jem – Is truly outrageous! Truly, truly, truly outrageous! Whoaaa—Jem! Err, 80's reference. Anybody get it? Ugh, you people were all born in the 90's weren't cha? Anyways, I love your reviews, Jem, & I'm happy to have surprised you. _

_/ pleasantparker79 – Oh, thanks for saying it's the best chapter! I couldn't wait to write it as I love writing conflict esp. in the event of prompting due character growth. Abed's no fun if you keep him in a box. At times it seemed all this buildup was a bit of a chore... I even wrote segments of Ch 18 before the rest to know exactly what I was leading up to. Filling the blanks in between, however, is always the funnest part as I never know exactly what the characters are going to say & do outside of the general outline. And yes, "crack him open" is so much what I was going for! That's why I had Annie say the most hurtful thing imaginable, b/c she knew (as well as I did) that it would be the one thing that Abed simply could NOT deflect. Likewise, I deliberately made Ch 16 a strange inverse of _Door Number Two_. When rejected by Jeff, Annie turned to Abed & found not only companionship but chemistry. When rejected by Abed, Annie turned to Jeff & found not even a spark. Yonderly had it pegged, of course. Bless her & your razor sharp literary analysis. I love you guys. / anon – Here it is! Sorry for making ya wait but I do like receiving feedback & it is my second to last post so maybe I wanted to draw it out for nostalgia's sake._

_/ Kelly – Oh, sweetheart. Don't feel lazy. Honest to God, I appreciate every reader whether or not they review. We do get hit counts as authors so I know a lot more people read my story than review it. That being said, a review like this means a lot to me. I've said the exact same thing so many times about A/A fanfic! I wish more people would write it… And bless you for remembering that particular line. I had to force myself to reread _Door Number Two _several times while writing this story to ensure I didn't leave anything out & I always hated doing so b/c I wrote it in a little over a week (note: inadvisable) & it seems sloppy to me now. Nevertheless, I tried to connect many-a-bridge between the two stories & obviously I did something right if you made it over to the other side safely. / Boomsdayer – Not for nothing but I kind of get the feeling that you & I would be fast friends. I love colorful people & I'm quite loud. Sorry about those cliffhangers but they make for excellent chapter breaks & I do like to keep people on the edge of their seat._

_/ Copsical – Thanks for saying I surprised you! That's even better b/c you're such a smart reader. Abed didn't necessarily put himself in the facilitator role. (And I think the only reason he arranged Britta & Jeff's nuptials was out of boredom.) He just is very observative & probably gathered Annie & Jeff's overwhelming chemistry was going to lead to the invariable happy-go-lucky sitcom conclusion. (Note: Watch Season 4 of _Community _& wait for Jeff & Annie to get married in the series finale. Agh, the horror!) More likely he was hanging back letting things unfold & never imagined that the girl of his dreams would want to be w/ him, too. So when she made her interest known he decided to throw caution to the wind & give it a go, (as any red-blooded male is genetically programmed to do), knowing full well that he could get hurt, but never fully realizing what getting hurt means. Or how terrible it can be to have your heart broken as he's never experienced such intense feelings before. That doesn't make him any different from anybody else, I believe. We all know how jarring it is to have your heart broken that first time. You never quite see it coming, do you?_

_In regards to my giving up writing, ugh, I know I'm so sad, believe me. I've been in mourning all week. It wasn't an easy decision & I'm not saying it's definite but it's connected to my life & mindset at the moment. I have some hope maybe I can come back to it & feel differently in the future. Actually, it isn't draining at all to write—the process, I mean. Initially fanfic was just a lovely hobby but lately I realized some warning signs that told me, okay, Cait, maybe you need space. Maybe it's time for hobby #537 instead. (I go through so many phases any given month… right now I'm making jewelry but I was super into rock climbing last month.) I only read Annie/Abed, too, w/ the exception of a bit of Troy/Britta now that Marrrrrr's writing it, (& actually writing Troy as a grown-up, which I appreciate). I know exactly what you mean about operating on a deficit. It's what drew me to write to begin with... I think there were only two or three other M-rated A/A stories when I churned out _Door Number Two. _It's a shame b/c pairings like Annie & Abed are rare. They're the underdogs & they deserve all the TLC they can get. I'm happy to have contributed & continuously amazed people paid any attention at all. _

**Chapter 19: A Whole Lotta Comfort Food**

x

VERY IMPORTANT: This chapter contains mature themes. To read it in full, please go to this link:

h-t-t-p : (forward slash forward slash) mc-aitlyn . livejournal . com (forward slash) 6360 . h-t-m-l

For Part 1,

and this link:

h-t-t-p : (forward slash forward slash) mc-aitlyn . livejournal . com (forward slash) 6464 . h-t-m-l

For Part 2.

Also, see my profile for the link to my livejournal account. Please be aware this chapter is terribly long so I had to publish it on my livejournal in TWO POSTS. Don't read Chapter 19 (Part 2) w/o having read Chapter 19 (Part 1) first.

_Sidenote: I hope that if you are so kind as to leave a review you do so here at ff dot net. My community is more here than there as I'm still learning the ropes at LJ & only have maybe four friends… (Loser, right? Friend me!) As Greytune would say, I'm still a baby fangirl learning to walk on my chubby, fledgling fangirl legs..._


	20. All's Well That Ends Well

_Author's Note: Here it is, the last chapter. I almost rewrote a good chunk of it last week on a fantastic whim but I have to thank my pals snemes, The Alternative Source, & Marrrrrr for telling me not to… It would have been a lot of work to move things around anyways, & I would've hated giving up a certain something in_ _here._

_Synopsis of Ch 19: Annie & Abed make up. A lot. Like bunnies, if you catch my drift. They also have some choice conversation about their relationship & their future… Oh, y'know what? Why am I even bothering? I know you've all read _Door Number Two_ anyways…_

_Important sidenote: So an offhand comment I made in my last A.N. has got me worried you guys may think I was calling you prudish if you don't like the adult segments of my story. And it also got me worried you were frightened to review for fear of hurting my feelings maybe…? I PROMISE that's not the case. It was just me being glib & I honestly didn't mean to insult anyone. Not everybody has to like what I write & I swear you never have to pull punches around me. I'm a big girl. I like to think you're not a real writer if you don't take risks—again, I realize it's fanfic, that's me being glib again—but it never seemed like a risk when I was writing & mapping out this story b/c I knew my rationale & everything seemed so logical & square in my little brain. I'm fairly confident in how I wrote _Loose Ends_. Otherwise I wouldn't have shared it._

_My reasons for doing what I did in Ch 19: _

_(1) In Ch 14 Annie emotionally raped Abed. That might sound extreme but put yourself in his position & you know how you'd feel in the wake of such an ill-timed revelation. She used sex as a means of deflection & he thought they were making love openly & earnestly when she was actually distracting him & herself from a terrible secret. It was a "dark chapter". That's why in Ch 19 Annie & Abed _have _to have sex purely as a means of raw intimacy & emotional connection. The substance lies in the selflessness & reassurance of their lovemaking from both ends. _

_(2) I've been in three long term relationships & a handful of shorter lived ones in my adult life. I don't claim to be an expert on men or love but I do live w/ a man I love dearly & I am certain that what Annie did for Abed is exactly what he needed in that moment in order to break free from his insecurities & reservations. And she sensed that b/c she knows him. Annie knows Abed in such a way that nobody will ever be able to rival, not even Troy. (Which I hopefully managed to illustrate in the clash between Troy's advice & Annie's actions between Chs 17 & 18.) _

_(3) While I deliberately played w/ the film convention of the hero changing his mind last minute & grabbing his lover before she leaves, I can tell you that, in my experience, that particular cliché is SO TRUE to real life. You can find yourself in a terrible fight, screaming at the top of your lungs, & having reached an absolute stalemate between you & your significant other... And yes, one of you might say something that will make it all better & bring the argument to a close. But that's less likely. Chances are you'll keep putting your foot in your mouth, someone will storm out or you'll go to bed angry. That's why, more often than not, the true watershed moment comes when you tear one another's clothes off & remember exactly why you were good together in the first place. There is so much more you can express making love than you ever could talking it out & dissecting this or that. So that's why the situation called for it. You wouldn't want Abed & Annie to "overthink it". They'd just keep going around in circles. They needed that special jumpstart in order to start "winging it" & move on._

… _Lastly, I promise I don't write "smut" or whatever (p.s. thanks to Greytune again for explaining to me what smut is!) just to get my rocks off. It's funny, I was talking w/ Marrrrrr just last week about how tedious it is to write about sex. It takes so long & it feels so technical to try to think of ways to describe something that feels passionate & fluid & effortless. It's nowhere near as much fun as having sex… & not even a little arousing until you look at the finished product & say, "Hmm, not bad." But I do enjoy reading about sex (far less work) so PLEASE people, write about it. Don't be afraid. Esp. w/ Abed. Trust me. It's always the quiet ones. _

_Anyways, it is bittersweet for me to end this story. It's funny, I can finish a book in a couple of hours but writing takes so much more time & forethought that I think it's much more mentally stimulating. I know it's only been a few months but I had so much fun writing _Loose Ends_ & even more fun hearing from reviewers, subscribers (all 118 of you, holy sh*t!), favoriters… I know it's silly to get all emotional about something only a few thousand people were reading but it felt so flattering. There were so many different readers, & from all over the world, too… _Community _fans in China, who'd have thunk it? Ni hao, guys! I've loved getting to know some of you readers & I've treasured each & every review. In a strange way it feels like the end of an era... _

_So I've been studiously avoiding any & all _Community_ news since the day of Dan's firing b/c I figured it was no use crying over spilled milk & that it might curb my momentum in finishing the story. But I had moles in the fanfic world who would only dish out good tidings for me. Marrrrrr was kind enough to tell me several weeks ago that they'd retained most of the writing staff which swayed me enough to tune in to Season 4. Nevertheless, I honestly fear for what may become of my favorite characters, & being able to write fanfic & exact some control regarding an alternate "timeline" has made me feel infinitely better. In my little universe everything is happily ever after._

_To Ksentos, Muse #1__: I can never thank you enough for the day you said, "Well, I'm back, where the heck's your new story?" You were just feisty enough to encourage the plot bunnies to come bursting through. Before I knew I had a pencil in hand & was jotting down notes. So Annie, right? I've loved getting to know you & while I'm not exactly looking forward to Season 4, I am looking forward to you & me judging it together & hissing at the screen. We can go all Abed on it, I promise. Of course, worst case scenario it might be just too painful to watch but I think w/ the right amount of cattiness we can make it work. Like a support system. And I'd take your penpalship over a trip to Paris any day, too. No lie._

_To Greytune, Muse #2__: How can I explain how much your wonderful PMs meant to me? That first one I got right after I'd posted Ch 2 of this story, man… And they kept coming! So elaborate & considerate. You're such a careful reader, treating all of my chapters like an AP English analysis—wait, who knows what the Swedish equivalent of AP is? It's honors level literary analysis for kids in high school over here. And believe me, you write & communicate better in English than so many Americans that I often forget that you're Swedish. Anyways, I'm so blessed for having stumbled upon your expertise. You introduced me to so many things. You taught me all the lingo when I was confused, knowing next to nothing about fanfic... all that "head canon" stuff & Livejournal posting instructions. I've earned my fangirl stripes under your guidance, & I'll always appreciate it. _

_To all of you, SO, SO MUCH LOVE! I would seriously hug each & every person who ever read this story if I could. Thank you for taking the time to humor a publicist who had a simple hankering to write a hookup. If I knew _Door Number Two _would lead me down this path six months ago, I might've backed off for fear of commitment but thank God it snuck up on me, like an unexpected plot twist. *wink*_

_Anonymi: Boomsdayer – I sincerely hope you didn't reach for that cigarette (try the patch, worked for my friend!) but I'm so pleased the sexy worked for ya. I always figured Annie & Abed would eventually have super hot control freak sex. The only problem w/ getting to that point is that they're both so calculating & tentative they'd have to be fairly far along in their relationship to feel uninhibited enough. You can't write the sexier sex unless you've spent those 18 (err 22?) chapters detailing the buildup. I'm happy I got to do it though. / heRieAnn – Ugh, I loathe the new comment box, too. And you are the best thing ever. I'm glad I was able to make you feel better b/c there was quite a lot of tension leading up to that, wasn't there? / Katie Moon – The part about "prose" was a meta joke (poking fun of the fact that you could never tell in a movie the story of the last 19 chapters…not enough time or depth), which Marrrrrrr caught onto, but it can also totally be a shout out to English majors! I double majored in Mass Comm & Poli Sci so I did quite a bit of writing myself in college. I'll love, love, LOVE you forever for reviewing my story. Not pervily, but preciously, if I can help it. / pleasantparker79 – You are a treasure. And yup, actually Greytune & I had a lil' bitchfest about how much we dislike Abed's mother maybe six weeks ago. Seriously—who can't pick up a phone to say they can't make Christmas? Who sends a card of their new perfect family to the child they left behind? Blech. And I can't imagine how a mother could abandon her kid either. I have a great mom. Nevertheless, I have to keep in mind we all hated Andre before we met him on the show so I'm trying not to judge the very fictional character too harshly. (Cuckoo, Cait!) I also deliberately strung together some hope that Annie can be a means for Abed & his mother to reconnect._

_/ Mae – I've had that line in mind since the very beginning. So glad I got to use it! / Guest – You're an amazing reviewer. Thanks for saying such kind things about _Door Number Two. _I'm trying not to judge it too harshly... but I wish I'd taken my time to map it out the way I had w/ _Loose Ends._ / Br7nn – Well, I did miss ya last time around! But only b/c your reviews are so awesome. They are like gifts to me, I promise. Well, actually by this point Abed & Annie had already had three fights—detailed in chapters 8, 10 & 15, (15 being the most twisted). But you're absolutely right that this was their first "real" one & the fight that all those other discussions had been leading up to. See in all of those previous instances Abed had yet to engage. Not really. But then Annie broke him, & all the "anger & frustration came leaking out". Bingo, Br7nn. Bingo. That Comedy Central thing… actually I didn't think about the syndication but I guess you can call it an easter egg now, huh? I simply found it amusing that someone who seems to lack a sense of humor like Abed's father would love Comedy Central. Besides, if he can liken Britta's breasts to guided missiles the guy's gotta have a funny bone somewhere. Speaking of funny, I've read articles about how certain teenage girls who are super into _Twilight_ do all these crazy things like throw blood drinking parties & put their sex toys in the freezer. (No offense _Twilight _fans, I'm sure these chicks are in a league of their own & the rest of y'all are quite sane.) So if there are teens out there doing things like that then writing bad fanfic doesn't seem like much of a stretch. In any case, I'm pleased you say the way I write sex sounds authentic b/c if it seemed less so I'd take it as a sign that I'm not as good at it as I thought I was. (J/K.) I did mean for such scenes to come off as tasteful b/c I think Abed & Annie are a classy couple. You wouldn't catch them having sex on the study room table during paintball. Nope. They're busy making out under the gorgeous orange-colored waterfall. As for writing fanfic,*sigh*, I did say never say never. Again, I'm hoping I'll feel differently someday. I am mercurial. I do love you Br7nn, & thank you SO MUCH for your reviews. They'll go a long way towards potentially changing my mind._

_/ tnelson123 – Well you're another person I can't PM so I'm replying to you here b/c I wanted to tell you how much your particular review means to me. To say you fell in love w/ Annie & Abed after _Door Number Two _makes me quite proud. It honestly does. The more people I can lure into the ship the better I say! _

_And that's a wrap on the longest A.N. & story ever! God that feels good to write…_

_Once more w/ feeling: DONE!_

**Chapter 20: All's Well That Ends Well**

x

"I'm telling you, the second Abed started yelling, his dad was smiling ear to ear," Troy said.

"Was he really?" I asked.

"Yeah. I mean first he jumped a little but then he got so happy he started acting like a completely different person. I think that's why he invited me to make falafel."

"You did a decent job," Abed remarked, picking one out of the container of Tupperware. "Balls are a little uneven, but it takes a while to get that perfect inch and a half circumference. We can practice at home."

"Oh, no you don't," I warned them. "You two in one kitchen does mix. Everything ends in a food fight."

"Those aren't fights, Annie," Troy said, rolling his eyes. "They're performance art."

"Well, why don't you guys perform your art somewhere other than our apartment? I'm always cleaning up after you."

"Yeah, well, you leave your hair in the shower drain," Troy accused me.

"What? I do not!"

"Yeah, you do. I had to run a snake already. Isn't that me cleaning up after you?"

"Hardly! You know that wasn't all me; I haven't lived in the apartment that long. And I don't shed that much hair, Troy. I'm a woman, not a wooly mammoth."

"Wooly mammoth," Abed said thoughtfully. "You know, we should watch _Ice Age_ tonight. I'm in the mood for something lighthearted."

"Are you?" I asked, growing a little tender at the comment.

"Yeah. It just seems that with all the drama over the past two days we'd do a better job correcting the mood with some animation. We could do a Pixar versus DreamWorks night. Of course we all know which studio will ultimately win out but it would be fun to recapture the shock and momentum initially felt when DreamWorks released _Shrek_ and _How to Train Your Dragon..._"

"Sounds fun," I agreed, and then I kissed him. He tasted like chickpeas and herbal seasoning and it was especially savory.

"You guys!" Troy groaned.

"What?" I breathed, my attention diverted what with my hand on Abed's neck.

"You were 'correcting the mood' all afternoon. And Pierce is laying unconscious right over there. Can you give it a rest already?"

"Troy, we're in the make-up phase," Abed said. "Annie won't be this insatiable for long. It's better to enjoy it while it lasts."

I frowned at him. "What are you talking about, 'make-up phase'? I'll always want you, Abed."

"Not this much." He shook his head. "It's statistically significant."

"I liked you guys better when you were single," Troy muttered. "I don't know what's worse: Abed unleashed or Annie unfiltered."

"I don't have to filter in front of you," I said dismissively. "We're in love. And you're the matchmaker."

"No, I'm not."

"Um, yeah you are. You helped me win him back. You knew what you were in for, Troy."

Troy glared at me and I think he was preparing another objection when we heard two raps on the half-opened door.

"Knock, knock," Shirley chirped.

"You're here," I said, letting go of Abed and rising up to give her a hug. "We're keeping it down actually. He's still pretty out of it," I whispered, motioning to an inanimate Pierce snoring loudly with an IV in his forearm.

"How is he?"

"Hard to tell. He hasn't woken up yet," Troy said.

"Aw," Shirley said, setting down her block of a purse on an empty chair. "Wow, he looks so mild-tempered and unobjectionable when he's asleep, doesn't he?"

"The effects of heavy sedation," Abed said.

"Oh, Abed, how are you?" Shirley asked, reaching down and patting his back. "Andre and I were so worried when we got Troy's calls. Was everything clay-mation again? Why'd you leave without telling anyone?"

"Nothing was stop motion," he told her. "Everything stayed flesh-colored and three-dimensional. Maybe even four-dimensional. It was sort of the reverse of last year. It got a little too real there for a second."

I squeezed his hand again. "Everything's better now," I said happily. "It was a… what did you call it Abed?"

"Growing Pains Episode," he answered. "So coined after the lackluster sitcom. It lures you in with all the potential heavy but then it quietly reverts to everyday happenstance. I'm sorry to have worried you, Shirley. I'm fine now."

"Good to hear it," Britta commented, sticking a toe in the room and waving a plastic bag. "How are you guys doing?" she hissed loudly, seeing Pierce sleeping. "Are you hungry? I brought snacks."

"Snacks?" Troy sat up, clearly excited not merely about the snacks but the curly blond ringlets bouncing below the doorframe.

"Yeah. I took a tip from Shirley and hit the store. I brought organic popcorn for Abed, some gelatin free candy for you—no pigs were harmed so it's fine for Annie and Abed, too, oh, and some mixed nuts for everyone else. Carrots and celery for me," she said, opening a zip lock bag with relish. "Annie, you want some?"

"No thank you," I said. While I was pleased the girls had finally arrived, I was rather annoyed now that I'd no longer be able to kiss Abed. Lord knows he tasted better than a stick of celery. "Can I have some more falafel?"

Abed handed me the Tupperware container and I nearly dropped it when Pierce gave a loud groan. It sounded painful and Troy and Abed got up immediately and assumed position next to the bed. The room was at a hush while all five of us watched Pierce's eyes crack open. He blinked once. Twice. Then he turned his head, took one look at Troy and Abed and yelled, "SECURITY!"

"Pierce, it's okay," Abed said, setting his hand on Pierce's arm. "It's us."

Pierce's eyes and nostrils flared wider. "Baah!"

"Pierce!" I said sharply, rushing over. "It's _okay_. It's only us. It's only Troy and Abed."

"Troy and Abed at your BED-side!" the boys sang.

Pierce was still breathing heavily through his panic as I explained, "They practiced that in the car."

"Annie?" Pierce asked, his voice a little weak.

"It's me." I walked to the other side of the bed and dropped a kiss on the top of his head. "How are you feeling?"

"I don't know," he muttered, looking both chagrined and flattered at all of the attention. "Thirsty, I guess…"

"Well, lucky for you I brought water," I said, unscrewing the top of a bottle I had at the ready.

"You gave us all quite a scare the other day," Shirley said, joining me at the opposite of the room. "We kept calling. The nurses said you needed to sleep it off. I was here for almost forty minutes yesterday and you hardly moved at all."

"It was the drugs," Pierce grumbled. "I told them not to stick that thing in my arm. Chang wouldn't listen."

I frowned. "Chang?"

"Yes, Chang. He's moonlighting as an emergency room doctor now. He's trying to kill me, Annie. You have to stop him!"

_Uh oh._

Shirley and I shared a significant look.

"Should I get the nurse?" Britta asked. She was closest to the door.

"Yes," I decided. "Right away if you can fetch one. This isn't a good sign."

Britta was about to leave when she suddenly released a high-pitched squeal that drew everyone's attention. All eyes were focused on her when Ben Chang walked into the room, a clipboard in his hand and a white coat on his back. "How's everybody doing?" he asked, smiling. "I assume you're all Mr. Hawthorne's friends…?"

Troy nudged Abed with this shoulder. "Et-gay urity-se-kay," he muttered.

"Still not quite right," I told Troy, and then I took a step closer to Pierce to protect him. "Shirley, Pierce was right. Get security," I said loudly.

Shirley strut forward, her eyes narrowed. "Ben Chang, if you don't get out of this room this instant I will _personally_ escort you back to prison. And you'd better believe I'll leave you in there this time."

"Ben Chang?" Chang repeated, his smiled faltering. "There's that name again. Mr. Hawthorne keeps yelling it. We wanted to believe it was the influence of the drugs but they should be well flushed out of his system by now. We think he's suffering a psychotic break."

"You're the psychotic one!" Pierce shouted, raising his arms and trying to sit up. "First Shirley, now _me_? Get him, Troy! Get him right now!"

Troy leapt across the room and already had two hands fisted in either side of Chang's coat when Jeff shouted, "Wait, wait, wait—Troy, _stop_! That's not Ben Chang. That's Dr. Ken Yun."

"What?" Troy let go immediately and Chang almost slid to the floor. Jeff stepped into the room and helped prop the shaking man back up.

"This is not Ben Chang," he said again, one hand clapped on the doctor's shoulder. "_This_ is Dr. Yun. I met him yesterday night. For a second there I almost lost it, too, but he's not Chang. He really isn't. Just look at his eyes."

Everyone peered closer and we realized that the manic gleam that so defined Ben Chang was not present behind Dr. Yun's wire-rimmed spectacles. This man didn't only look sane, he seemed kind. And not a little frightened.

"Mr. Winger…" Dr. Yun looked up fitfully. "Who is this Ben Chang? Why do I keep hearing so much about him?"

"It's a long story," Jeff sighed. "I probably should've warned you last night but I wasn't in the mood to get into it."

"So that's—" Pierce trembled, pointing, "—that's _not_ Chang?"

"No, Pierce," Jeff said firmly. "It's Dr. Yun. He's been working here at Greendale Hospital for twelve years. He's an internist and he got his degree from UCLA Medical School. Believe me, I looked it up. I wouldn't have left you here if I hadn't been absolutely certain he is who he says he is."

"Oh," Pierce said sheepishly, relaxing in full.

"I'm so sorry, Doctor," I said, my face aflush with mortification. "It's just you happen to look a lot like someone we know…"

"And fear," Britta added.

"A case of mistaken identity," Abed piped up, smiling happily. "This is a classic TV trope. The serious stranger who just so happens to resemble a whacky side character? Sometimes it's vice versa but this is really the better twist. And it's brilliant, isn't it, Annie? A sign the universe is back in order."

"What?" Dr. Yun asked, looking at Abed as though he was insane.

"I'm sorry," I said again. "My boyfriend is really into television."

"Are any more of you dropping by?" Dr. Yun asked tiredly, shaking his head. "I really don't want to be mistaken for this Mr. Chang again and there's a limit as to how many visitors can be in a room."

"No, this is it, actually," Shirley said, her voice a little proud. "This is all of us."

"And Pierce isn't crazy," I said. "He's definitely not having a psychotic break. You really do happen to look a lot like this Chang person. And I think it would be better if you didn't sedate him for a while. If all he needs are liquids and rest then we'd like to take him home as soon as possible. I'm more than willing to look after him for however long it takes."

"Well…" Dr. Yun paused, eying the new and improved Pierce who was lying placidly against the bed cushions, "I'll have to order a brief psychiatric evaluation, of course, but… provided it goes well, there's no reason why we shouldn't have Mr. Hawthorne up and running in a day or less. He's recovering quite nicely. Who did you say you are, Miss?"

"She's my—" Pierce began.

"Daughter," I interrupted. "I'm his daughter. Surrogate really, but daughter just the same."

"Me, too," Britta blurted just as suddenly. And she walked over and behind me to set a hand on Pierce's shoulder.

Pierce grew uncharacteristically quiet and his eyes filled with unshed tears as the mood in the room softened. Dr. Yun looked at the three of us and smiled understandingly.

"I'll come back to check on Mr. Hawthorne later," he said. "And I'll make sure to have the hospital give you a call when he's ready to be discharged. Leave your information with administration, all right?"

He left the room and the second he did my eyes shifted from the doorway and darted towards Jeff and Abed. Nobody besides me and Troy fully realized the significance or their reunion, but Jeff was doing a good job of looking incredibly ansty all by himself.

"Thanks for texting me," he said quietly, meeting Abed's eye. "I wouldn't have wanted to miss this."

"I wouldn't have wanted you to either," Abed replied, cool and unbothered.

Jeff swallowed and I could feel Britta and Shirley's confusion from either side of me. He reached inside of his jacket and pulled out a piece of paper. It was worn and creased and anybody could see that he'd opened and refolded it dozens of times.

"I hope you don't mind," Jeff said, "I prepared a small statement…"

Abed's brow furrowed in surprise and so did mine as Jeff began to read.

"Abed Nadir," he started off, his eyes glued to the sheet, "you are the strangest, coolest, most genuine person I've ever met. You walk around pretending like you don't know left from right, and yet you're still ahead of the game at every turn. You tell us you'd change for us, but you already know we wouldn't have you any other way…" Jeff's voice broke for a second but then he cleared his throat and looked up, his expression and affect changing entirely.

"So I'm not gonna sit here and blow sunshine up your ass, Lieutenant," he said sternly. "A good pilot is compelled to evaluate what's happened, so he can apply what he's learned. And what I've learned here is that screws fall out all the time, the world is an imperfect place, and I think I was in a place where I wanted to make things perfect and I feared I'd missed my shot. And the thing that killed me Abed is that I could've had class. I could've been a contender. I could've been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am," he finished more tepidly.

"Anyways… after that it got pretty late and we both had to go… but it was great seeing Annie again. I realized what a terrific person she is and how fun it was just getting to know her. And it reminds me of that old joke: A guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, 'Doc, my brother's crazy. He thinks he's a chicken'. And the doc says, 'Well, why don't you turn him in?' The guy says, 'I would… but I need the eggs.' And that's pretty much how I feel about relationships, Abed. They're totally irrational, crazy, absurd… but I guess we keep going through it because… because most of us need the eggs."

Jeff paused for a second and he and Abed stared at one another. I could see that despite the lack of movement on his face Abed was deeply affected. His eyes were gleaming and he seemed to be hanging on Jeff's every word.

"Love means never having to say you're sorry," Jeff continued, his throat a little gravelly, "but I _am_, Abed. I am truly and deeply sorry. For getting all nobody puts Baby in a corner. For thinking I'm king of the world. For acting like I'm Steve Martin in some low-budget, half-assed, wholly pretentious Indie flick. Because the Steve Martins of this world can never be the Bill Murrays, Abed. And there is no fate but what we make for ourselves...

"The bottom line is," Jeff stopped reading and crumpled the paper in his fist, "you make me want to be a better man."

Abed's lips crooked up and a decidedly feminine look came over his face. "That's maybe the best compliment of my life," he cooed.

"What the hell is going on?" Pierce barked loudly.

"Well, _Top Gun, The Breakfast Club, On The Waterfront, Annie Hall, Love Story, Dirty Dancing, Titanic, _and_ Terminator 2. _Now it's _As Good At It Gets_," Troy said, all in a rush. He'd taken a seat again and was munching on the bag of popcorn Britta had brought.

"More like as gay as it gets," Pierce said, frustrated. "Why do you guys have to be so weird all the time? Why can't you try and make sense for once? I always feel like I'm out of the loop!"

"Come to think of it," Abed said, turning around, "Pierce actually is our very own Melvin Udall. I was writing him off as the 21st century's answer to Archie Bunker but he's far too nuanced for that, isn't he? Man… there's a lot of material that's been going to waste because I'd yet to make the connection…"

"I am no such thing! Stop it with the gay code. Just stop it! Annie, make them stop!"

"All right, you guys," I said, although I couldn't quite wipe the smile on my face. "Maybe that's enough movie talk for the day. This is Pierce's visit. Why not make things all about him for once?"

"Dean a-Ling-a-Ling-a-Ling!"

Everybody turned again to see Dean Pelton saunter into the room with a gigantic gift basket on his right arm.

"How is everyoneeeeee?" he drawled, pushing past Jeff and Abed to set his basket alongside the balloons and other gifts. "I've been waiting for a while for you guys to show up. It seems we just keep missing each other, don't we?" he tsked, hands on hips.

"Waiting for us?" Britta questioned. "You've been here?"

"Pretty much on and off the past forty-eight hours. I came as soon as I was notified."

"Notified? Who notified _you_?" Shirley asked suspiciously.

"Oh, I had myself added to Pierce's in case of emergency contact list. I'm on all of yours', actually. Certain students get certain privileges. As do I as your dean," he added sharply, wagging his finger at the seven of us. "You all signed a statement agreeing to my stewardship and your nondisclosure by enrolling at Greendale in the fall of '09."

"Is there any part of my soul I didn't sign away that day?" Jeff groaned lamentably.

"Wait a second, so you've been _here_?" Pierce asked, a little dismayed.

"All night lo-o-ng!" Dean Pelton said, bouncing. "Who do you think brought you _that_?" He gestured.

Pierce turned his head again to see a stuffed dalmation sitting on his nightstand. "Baah!"

"I watched you sleep," the Dean was saying. "Sang you a couple of lullabies... At one point I put on a little house music to entertain myself but then the nurse ushered me out. Some people can't take a party," he finished begrudgingly.

"Annie," Pierce whimpered.

"It's all right," I soothed. "I'll see what I can do about getting you out of here earlier, Pierce. I think Britta has some connections. Britta, didn't you say you know someone on staff?"

"Actually, I may have oversold that," Britta said, frowning. "He said he was a doctor but I ran into him downstairs and he turned out to be just an orderly. Last time I let some stranger with a stethoscope con me into bed. No wonder he never called me back."

"So you're into stethoscopes," Troy said under his breath. "That's pretty kinky…"

Shirley glowered at the two of them. "Don't you start. I saw you the two of you canoodling at the mall last Sunday. And in public, no less!"

Abed and I each turned to give Troy and Britta a pointed look.

"We weren't canoodling," Britta sputtered, her face a little pink. "We were just… testing that chair out. It was the floor model! That's what it's there for."

"It has seven speeds!" Troy said excitedly. "You just sit there and all of a sudden this huge—"

"Troy, don't!" I cut him off.

"Oh, now look who doesn't want details?" he snarked.

"Jeffrey," The Dean said abruptly, "speaking of the mall, I didn't catch you at the sale at Barney's the other day."

"I was a little busy escorting my sick friend to the hospital," Jeff said. "And thanks to you I've taken an interest in online shopping."

"Oh now, Jeffrey," Dean Pelton simpered, laying his hands upon Jeff's washboard stomach, "you know that's really not the best option for a man of your size and sta—" he stopped short, his eyes landing on Abed. "And…" he trailed off, his jaw slackening.

"Abed," he said then, his voice dripping with curiosity, "is it just me or is there something… different about you?"

"Different?" Abed repeated, cocking his head.

"Something _is _different, isn't it?" His hands slid off Jeff and he turned entirely, giving Abed his full attention. "You seem taller for some reason. More… confident. Have you been working out?"

Abed's eyes widened and he was looking quite alarmed when Troy suddenly guffawed, "Oh, wait, wait, wait—I got it! Classic TV trope number two: Abed has stolen Jeff's mojo!"

"Mojo?" Jeff repeated, befuddled. "What the hell is a mojo?"

"I think it's an STD," Britta said, wrinkling her nose. "I'm pretty sure my roommate had it…"

"Oh now you people don't know what you're talking about," Shirley told them. "The mojo—that's _Austin Powers_ right there. I have the whole trilogy on boxset. Now that's classic filmmaking."

Abed gave Shirley a pained look. "Actually, while the concept of 'mojo' is best known thanks to Mike Myers' wildly uneven and poorly segmented satire, it's not entirely circumscribed to film. But it would be tacky and in bad taste to revisit the issue of my stealing Jeff's mojo now. That ground was already well covered first season with the chicken fingers episode."

"Exactly!" Troy exclaimed, pointing to me. "Annie's a chicken finger."

"I am not a chicken finger!" I said haughtily. "Honestly, Troy, do you ever even think about what you say before you say it?"

"Will someone _please _explain to me what the hell is going on?" Pierce shouted.

All in all, it made for a very interesting night.


End file.
